OMG .....I can't take it anymore! Daughter is a slob!
I believe that this is the first problem that I have asked for help about since I came to this site. I have finally lost my temper and given my 20 year old daughter the boot out if she doesn't clean up her act. I mean "literally clean up her act." She is the biggest slob that I have ever met. I've seen em on Oprah and Dr. Phil but this is the first real life person that I have ever met that is this bad.
This is going to be a long one, laced with sarcasm and hurt and anger. I have lived with this child being this way for about 10 years and tonight I called her and told her that she had a limited amount of time to get her shet together or she was out of here. Her cat too.
I have a disability that prevents me from doing anything at times. It is a very painful sciatic nerve disorder and I have had it for about 11 years. I think that the pain and the meds are two of the main reasons that I have not taken care of this sooner. I think she has taken advantage of that. I have trouble following through with things, get blind sided with the pain and forget about chore situations. She has had her bedroom in the basement since she was 10 and sometimes I can't even go up and down the stairs for days at a time. Hence, not checking to see if she has done what I have told her too.
Tonight I go downstairs to do a load of laundry. At the bottom of the stairs is the cat box. There is vomit or excrement in front of it. It has been there for 2 days. Her bedroom door is open and I can see that you can't even see her floor. There is trash, clothing, dirty dishes, you name it, it is there. I have been giving her deadlines and trying to help her get this done. She is in school full time and works part time. I have not wanted it to come to this but when I called her BF to see if she was there and he told me that she was at a movie with her girl friends I blew. I called her, no answer, she called back and I dropped the bomb. GET IT ALL CLEANED UP NOW OR GET OUT. IF YOU DON'T TAKE CARE OF THE CAT'S BOX AND VOMIT IT GOES TO THE POUND. I DON'T EVEN CARE IF YOU LIVE WITH YOUR BOY FRIEND, YOU ARE OUT OF HERE. The last sentence is a biggie for me because, as some of you know, my religious beliefs don't support that but........too bad.....I'm fed up. When I get really mad all bets are off.
DD has an excellent GPA. She managed a subway at 17 years of age and another store after that job. She can do it if she wants to. Why would she disrespect me so? Other than this issue she is such a good kid! We have a great relationship outside of this "dirty" little secret.
Maybe this is what it will take for her to clean her room. I have offered to help her, offered to do it myself when I felt good. It isn't like I'm being unreasonable about it. At least I don't think so.
Now my DS16 just came home with tales of his GF's SF who is a drinker, being an a$$ tonight. Evidently he is off to jail tomorrow for leaving the scene of an accident. DS16 is afraid that GF's SD hurt her after he left. DS16 has been sitting on the end of our bed talking to us about it and crying. WTH?
Well, there you have it. I have vented and I feel better. I can see what I should have done years ago but what do I do now? I want her to finish school. I know that she is stressed with her school and work load but if I rented to her I'd evict her behind. Have you guys ever dealt with this kind of thing? Could this be a deep psychological thing with her?