Could you give me a little advice?

15 years ago

My DH started a new job a few weeks ago. He is friends with an older man who works part time while he draws unemployment. This man and his wife will soon celebrate their 50th Wedding Anniversary. It seems they want to just have a few friends over rather than go out to dinner or have a big celebration. I heard this end of the phone conversation and the man was supposed to call DH back with the time and details, so DH marked the date on the calendar. The man has not mentioned it since, but other men at work are going. One man we both know is taking his girlfriend. We know another couple that plans to go. DH just assumes we are going. I do not feel right about going to a womanÂs house that I do not know without an invitation from her. I think she should call to invite me. I do not think I can get out of going. Should I call her? Should I take a gift? If so, what Â I know nothing about her. I would really appreciate your input.

Thanks, Lexi

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Comments (9)

Jasdip
15 years ago
I think your DH should ask him, if he's included in the party.He could say that he hadn't heard back with the details. The other fellow might have thought he had called him, as he promised. He can then ask if spouses are invited.
ivamae
15 years ago
jasdip has a good diea, I think.

Unless the guy has kept records of who he has talked to, he probably doesn't remember.

ivamae
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missindia2020
15 years ago
If he's been married 50 years, safe to say his memory ain't what it used to be! (mine isn't and I haven't been married 50 years!) DH should find out the details.
barbara3
15 years ago
I think jasdip has given good addvice. Your DH should ask his friend.
lexi7
Original Author
15 years ago
I just noticed that I said unemployment, but I meant to say social security. I know that it is for couples, but I am not sure she knows her husband invited US. Even if DH asks the guy, I do not know what his wife thinks about it. I will ask DH to mention it to him though. When he first mentioned it, he said not to bring anything, but it is their 50th. Would you take a gift anyway?
azzalea
15 years ago
My first thought, too, was that even though a follow-up call had been promised, that the fellow might have forgotten (after all, he's got to be at least in his 70's, right?)

I do NOT think you need to stand on ceremony and expect a call from his wife. Things are much more casual today, and there's no reason this fellow can't invite his friends and their wives/partners to a get-together in his home.

I'd suggest that you go and plan to have a good time. And definitely take a gift. Keeping in mind, of course, that most people of that age don't want any extra 'stuff' to store, certainly not more knick knacks or other useless stuff. I'd go with something they can enjoy but that would be used up--gift certificate to a nice restaurant, theater, sporting event--depending upon their interests. Or maybe a nice gourmet basket. Or possibly a plant for their garden if that's their passion.
lexi7
Original Author
15 years ago
Actually he is 67. I guess they started a family early in life. Thanks for the good advice. DH said he would mention it to the man. If it is still on, I will "go and plan to have a good time" (great advice) and I will take a plant. I am so glad I asked. I feel so much better.
Bless you,
Lexi
okwriter
15 years ago
Men tend to do what their wives tell them. The friend is inviting because his wife told him to...your DH asks the friend because you told him to...

You could just pick up the phone, call her and ask when and where it is, and ask if there is a particular wine they enjoy.
trishaw
15 years ago
This is the problem when men take over any part of the social calender. I would take flowers/plant and either a bottle of wine or sparkling cider if they do not like wine.

Trish

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