Catlover- What caused the problem? What don't you like (let alone love) about your kitchen? Is it trouble with the labor, the materials, or something else?

Sometimes, a few basic changes can make a big difference! Post some pictures and let's see what you have, compared to what you were hoping for...maybe we can help :)

Sometimes having a kitchen designer look at your situation can help. It will likely come with a fee, but might be worth it.

Catlover....I hear ya! I was so excited to start the remodel process and I love all things design, but all the decisions wore me out and I just ended up wishing it was all over. I thought it would be more fun, but it ended up being drudgery. I had already signed a contract and felt even more pressure to hurry up and pick stuff out. And I am in the same boat as you....have lived in the house 27 years with builder grade junk, NOT my dream kitchen, but knew I couldnt sell (hopefully in 6 or 7 years) without remodeling.

Although it's not my dream house or kitchen, I did get what I wanted in terms of materials and working with the space I had to work with. It is excruciating and stressful while you are going through it, but you will be happy when it's done. Short of moving, I wouldn't have done anything differently so far and am really happy with the results. Take your time choosing materials. Word of caution to anyone...whatever you THINK your budget is...add 25-30%...we spent an extra $7,000 correcting plumbing, electrical and subfloor problems once they gutted. Your also bound to go over in other areas....good luck...just keep focused on the end result!

It's a long painful process, with highs and lows, but I agree with joaniepoanie,take your time and sometimes a short time out from thinking about it helps bring clarity.

In the end, with all the homework, planning and executing done, you will be pleased, as it will be a great improvement over what you had. I know for myself, that cooking in my old kitchen actually depresses me. By June I'll have a new kitchen, which will be what I really want for my family and our home. Those thoughts keep me on target to reach that goal. Hang in there!

I feel your pain catlover! It's so many decisions, and I found I was second guessing myself. In fantasy land, I would have bumped out my entire kitchen and had an entirely different layout. But in the real world, we are doing what we can with the space we have.
And joanie is so right...there will most likely be surprises once you gut. We are stuck there right now, doing way more electric upgrade than we had planned. It's to our advantage that we are doing the work ourselves, so the costs aren't too bad. Hang in there...you will have a great kichen when you are done!

I am right there with you. I thought is would be fun to build a new house, even with our very modest budget....but is has been anything but fun. Everything I like seems to be out of our budget and I don't have champagne tastes either...I am to the point that I just have to laugh when things don't go my way. Hang in there!

Yeah... I'm right there with you. There were several things I wanted but couldn't have. Like a steam oven and a corner pantry... I just had to let go of those things because they wouldn't fit.

On top of that... (And you can call this good or bad I guess.) My remodel is a family project. My Dad and I are making the cabinets in his wood shoppe and my uncle and cousin are doing all the contractor stuff, like plumbing and electrical, that I can't do on my own.

So I have to be careful when I get "unhappy" with my helpers or family dinners will be uncomfortable. (Like two weeks ago when my Dad designed my cabinets on funky software to have a Lazy Susan and then bought said Lazy Susan without telling me even though I HATE, and I mean REALLY HATE Lazy Susans.)

But in the end I love where I live. I couldn't afford to live in the house I would have to have to kitchen I really want in the neighborhood I live in. So I'm building the next best thing in the house I have. So it ain't done yet, but when it is, I'm going to love it.

When dear friend/architect, DH, and I had just gone through (yet another) "value engineering" session (read "cutting out stuff we want" session), I sort of whined that I really don't have champagne taste, so why is this costing so much?! Architect said that EVERYONE goes through this, regardless of budget, even the folks who appear to me to be swimming in $$. Says something about human nature, huh? We always want what's just out of reach.

SO... I remind myself daily that I have everything I NEED right now. I WANT a truly functional kitchen, and I'm going to get that. And it'll even be beautiful, though maybe not as fancy as I'd originally hoped. :)

So hang in there. Your kitchen will be lovely, and certainly better than what you have now, else you wouldn't have embarked on this long, tortuous process!

Well, do you know what you want, and that it will be different in your house?
I suggest going for a LOOK, not an exact kitchen because the cabinets must be adapted for your limited space.
The answer is yes. People do get what they want but some easier than others.

Look at Ikea for a small kitchen and don't feel bad about it. Large, hi end homes have Ikea kitchens.Figure out your approach:If you are serious about selling-you can leave as is and the price will reflect that. Doing up a kitchen when your heart isn't there is in some ways not a good idea. .perhaps purchase an appliance package that can stay. Are the homes there selling? Don't start spending money/or completely holding back either, because of how you feel. Be logical-a problem before you can be turned around to give you options, I'm sure of it.

I got what I wanted, with a lot of help from HERE, but then I moved.

I liked my small kitchen and I think I'm gonna keep my "new" kitchen small. Laid out properly it can look good and function better than a big kitchen. Cheaper, too. Just have that storage issue....

This is one of the funniest thread titles evah. A year after you're done, couple bottles of vodka, some wine, bottle of antacids, coupla spa days, and past the first month without a punch list - you'll think so too.

Of course not! Haven't you ever heard the Stones . . . I have a tiny kitchen and after 2 years, I'm still not done. In the meantime, I've had to fire the first guy working on my kitchen, the budget has doubled, I've started taking prozac, and my finances are through the roof bc I eat out all the time - not to mention that I'm going blind from spending all day at work on the computer, only to come home at night and research research research. Ugh - I'm sooooo sick of it. It's hard to see the light at the end of the tunnel, but I've definitely learned to get a "version" of what I want - with compromises. It's so easy to obsess. I'm constantly telling myself to get a grip!!! Yup, bmorepanic has it down - ALL of the above.

I'm the one who keeps mentioning the importance of "infrastructure" for kitchens. If you have to choose between stuff and infrastructure, go for the latter. You can get stuff in some form in the future but you can't re-do the floor plan, beams, heating ducts, windows, door positions etc without huge expenditures and lots of power tools. Also as I've said before, "it's only a kitchen" and it only deserves so much of your time, resources, and brain cells.

bpmorepanic: Glad you spoke up. I agree. For me, the biggest difficulty of all has been the mere giving up of mental images that I had irrationally married my mind to. Now that I've been cooking in my new mostly finished kitchen for over a year, I am reconciled and happy with what we have. And DH is thrilled. He brags about the kitchen's efficiency and features--"Florantha designed this. Isn't it great?" And I have to agree--it's really great. Our kind of great.

Absolutely. As long as you want to delay your retirement, divorce, make at least three ER visits, have the nurse ask in a concerned voice whether you are an abuse victim, think about it for a minute before you realize she's not talking about your contractor, and become an alcoholic. Then you really can have it all.

Thanks everybody for the laughs and reassurances. When I got home, I found that my 125 lb dog got peeved that he couldn't come with me to the KD meeting so he decided to hit me where it really hurts and stole my bottle of TUMS off my nightstand and proceeded to break them up all over the white bed linens. He managed to chew off the poison control number and collapse the bottle to about 1/2 of its original width. DH actually looked me straight in the eye while I was trying to get what was left out of the bottle to figure out how much the dog actually ingested and he said, are you ready for this, you know I think the ones that are still in there are okay for you to use. The ambulance is on its way over now - I'm fine and so is the dog but I think my husband has a concussion from the Tums bottle.

catlover-best post EVER!!

uh, and then I have to ask, is that why you are "cat"lover?

That's funny about your dog. My daughters dog managed to open the unlocked patio door from the sun room and go into the house. He then consumed a bottle of vitamin D tablets. There were 300 1,000 IU pills in it. He also ate a container of fish food and a bottle of Tums. ( I guess the vitamin D & fish food upset his stomach. They weren't sure if he shared the items with their other dog so they had to take both dogs for an overnight visit to the Animal Emergancy Vet. It cost them $1,300! Oh for the love of animals.!
I hope your DH is recovering nicely.

Leela4, I have 4 cats too and had 5 until last month when my beloved Isabelle was taken by the cancer she was diagnosed with last year. She came to me 10+ years ago as a stray in very bad shape and I nursed her back to health with the help of a good vet and lots of love. Boy, did she rule the house. Apt living never allowed a dog so when we moved into our house, I decided to adopt from the pound. Before I even crossed the front door threshhold for the first time with the dog, Isabelle met us at the door and popped him 3 times in the nose, no claws, but she let him know she was the boss. And he always deferred to her as did everyone else in the house. When she became bedridden for a lack of a better word (she preferred the corner of the sofa in the small bedroom which is set up as a den and is the warmest room in the house), the dog, who would never go on the couch, took to laying next to her in the final weeks and she never minded the company and she was never alone, whether it was the dog, DH or myself sleeping with her on the couch. As my husband said the first night she was gone, even though there are other very wonderful pets in the house, the house never felt so lonely. RIP my beautiful Lamp Chop. So that's why my handle is Catlover5. BTW, DH was a dog man but I have turned him into a cat lover too! Pets are such wonderful companions except for the fact that most likely you will outlive them and have to deal with the grief that comes with that.

those dogs are trying to TELL you something - lol! you are upsetting their lives! They are just following your example with the Tums. "They help mom, they should help me..."

i think a lot of people here end up with most of what they want - making some adjustments along the way. Maybe becoming a bit more realistic about it all.

As someone said, 'it's just a kitchen' !

Just from reading here - and doing a few 'remodel' things like having the place painted, searching for flooring, lights etc and trying to move in has 'adjusted' me to the point that I'm no longer planning to redo the kitchen in a yr or so. That gave way to just redoing the base cabinets so i can have drawers there. That might be giving way to 'I think all the cabinets already there (with the exception of the sink cab) can be used and just changed into drawer stacks. Just adding the innards and painting them. That's gotta be easier - right?

It won't be my starting vision but I'll be less stressed and probably live thru it. Maybe.

Maybe my problem is just that I can't drink. I can't drink because of all of the drugs I already take...

ok, they're just the prescription kind - but I still can't drink .

catlover5, I get it.
I could be catlover7, right now 4, for various reasons.
You lose a little bit of your heart every time one of these sweet souls leaves us.

My dogs are fabulous, but at 50lbs, lap dogs they're not, despite what they think. :)

Love them all and they're really the only reason I get up in the morning and work to keep this house.

Thanks Christine . . isn't it amazing how these furballs can motivate you? I tell mine every morning, Mommy's off to work to make the money for food and shelter. See you tonight and if DH is still home, I leave the interior door open and actually wave to them as I drive away. I know my neighbors think I'm crazy.

Lavender, I think my frustration came from the fact that I wanted really nothing more than a 30 inch single bowl undermount sink not in the corner and a 24 in DW but I simply don't have the room for either even after going down to a 24 fr. unless I take away some key piece of equipment, I don't know, maybe the stove. I ended up with a corner sink, the 36 cab no less when I was trying for the 39 but really wanted the 42 so I could have 2 pieces of countertop that were wider than 18 inches. It's just one of those things where I have to work with what I have. BTW, I think you are the poster of the bunny tile? I just love that adorable bunny tile. It always makes me smile when I see it! Hopefully when I get my quaint shabby door pulls and an area rug, it will make me feel better. Thank you.

I am getting close to what I want for my kitchen - after I got my husband straightened out. He kept putting up roadblocks - he wanted cheap and fast.

When we finally came to an agreement, he agreed to stop complaining about what I was doing in the kitchen (even if it IS taking years to get done) and let me do it. If I had put my foot down from the start, we'd have not ended up redoing things that I gave in on, only to decide that it really mattered to me a lot more than I thought.

Our project is DIY, and pay as we go. Like they say, you can have Fast and cheap, fast and quality or quality and cheap. I'm going for the last, and I'm getting quality and saving a lot by doing so much myself, and as I can afford it. But the trade off is it's taking a long time! I can live with that, so can DH even though he didn't want to.

We've been married 31 years and have been doing DIY projects for most of most, so our marriage wasn't going to fall apart over this - I had to learn to stick up for what I really wanted. And DH had to accept that though it's just a kitchen to him, it's where my heart is. Don't feel sorry for him, you should see his shop! He got a lot of new tools so we could do this project (including a new insulated wood work area).

Catlover, your first mistake was thinking that remodeling is fun. It's not. The after is fun, when you get to work in a kitchen that works well and you get to use appliances that actually work. But the before and during are harder than you think they could or should be. Stock up on liquor.

I came very close to renaming one of my cats Granite. She got bladder stones that had to be surgically removed right before my reno started. The granite was the "luxury" item that I started to rethink when I got the bill. We ended up going with a lower grade granite.

Catlover,

Thank you for posting this. I think there is a disconnect
between fantasy and reality. And not everyone has the budget
or even makes the choice to spend on Fantasy. You brought
up some valid thoughts. I am sorry your reno has been
frustrating. You are not alone.

I did not get everything I wanted, but I did get a few
things I really needed. And along the way life happened.
Like Katsmah luxury items are not always kitchen related.

The year before Cleo passed (Gosh it may have been only
9 months before. She was old at least 12. )
Cleo had to have eye surgery. It is this rare
thing that happens to some boxers. Boxers have 3 eyelids
and for some reason Cleo's 3rd eyelid fragile got injured.
She needed surgery by an eye specialist to have this
cared for. She was uncomfortable (not extreme pain) but
clearly we HAD to do this. And that cost $2000 plus the
time I had to take off from work no pay to care for her
after surgery. (the commute to the specialist)
But it was worth every penny.

Sure, sometimes I think, I could have had a Modernaire hood
with the money I spent. But then I am reminded that
Cleo could look at me with her soft sweet brown eyes
and that was priceless. A modernaire hood has no feelings,
can't wag it's tail or enjoy a treat. But Cleo could enjoy
my hugs and I enjoyed her being next to me. Shes gone now
and I would not trade the choice I made. No regrets.
Maybe I did Truly Get what I wanted!

Your kittys are far more valuable than Marble, Granite,
Lacanche, 14k gold hardware, pure ivory tiles,
Diamond encrusted range hood, ....

~boxer

Catlover I'm with you, I'm not finding my kitchen update fun, in fact if I saw the bottle of tums on your night table before you "little dog", he wouldn't have had a chance to reck the bottle and your DH would have had one less bump. My anxiety over my kitchen is high, I'm sorry I was willing to just update, and wish I had done a completly new kitchen, but like you my space is limited, and I too agree with you that I would never be able to sell this house with the original cabinets the way they are. So we are putting a band aid on something I truly feel needs some stiches, I hope to enjoy it for the years before we move and hopefully when we move I will get my "dream kitchen". I hope you too find yourself a lot happier then you are right now, as we both continue on to do our kitchens with the hope of loving them when we are finished. Looking forward to seeing your kitchen when you finish, I'm sure it will look beautiful!

Good for you macybaby! I hope you are able to finish soon and enjoy all of your hard work, blood, sweat and tears!

Katsmah, I must watch too much HGTV because I thought it would be a lot of fun. You are right - it isn't. I hope your pussycat is all good.

Boxer, I am so sorry for your loss of your beloved Cleo baby. How our pets touch us is sometimes truly unexplainable. I never saw my husband cry until the unthinkable happened - our 2-1/2 year old "Baby Emily Kitten", the reason we bought this house as we found her and were living in an apt., became sick and was gone in one day from a congenital heart defect that she was born with. I never saw that man cry until this loss. He doesn't cry for humans, that's for sure. It's been 2 years and I know he still gets teary eyed thinking about that fluffball. It took us 3 hours to catch her that night when she ran out from under my car at the shop and he was in his FD dress uniform and ruined it trying to get her. It was I who got her by jumping into the thorn bush. We think she made it so hard for us to catch her because she was never going to be with us that long but she touched us so in that short period of time. Thank you for giving me some much needed perspective - I think what lives on in our hearts is so much more important than some dumb panel ready DW or 30 inch sink.

ilene-84, I was talking to a friend the other day who also has a small home. It's the people in the house that make it a home and not the furniture or the decoration or a 36 inch farmhouse sink. I don't mean to get all sappy and everything but we got what we got and all we can do is make the best of it. My MIL did a cat embroidery for me and I framed it the other day and hung it in the bathroom. The bathroom that has been needing a paint job for 2 years. Yes, it was like putting a bandaid on a severed arm but it says Hang in There with a little kitten hanging on a branch. I look at that every morning before I go to work and every night before I go to sleep and you know that small touch made this paint peeling bathroom look so much better. It's reminds me that we just have to make the best of things we have no matter how small it might be! Good luck to you with your project and I look forward to seeing pictures of your remodel! Thank you!