I know what you mean. I'm not through with menopause yet, been in peri-menopause for I suspect around 10-12 years, and over the past couple of years, have lost my zeal for lots of things I used to be interested in too. I've passed from really bad depression and anxiety into more of a stable low level depression that I can deal with pretty easily. I have used this time selfishly, I suppose, to delve more into myself and my own needs and emotional quirks, but it has been a good experience overall. I used to be the typical high-energy, doitmyself and could do anything type, always doing for everyone I could, and ignoring myself type. No emotional weakness or flaw was ever allowed to rear its ugly head without my promptly stuffing it back into it's proper container, lol. I have come to the point that I can politely say no to anyone and not worry about pleasing the world at the expense of myself. I've been to my own personal hell, and have started the ascent back up the mountain, so to speak. It may happen again at some point in the future, but I've learned alot along the way.
If you have no interest in anything, keep digging :)
Something is sure to turn up.
Mrs H

I can relate. Have no interest in the upcoming holidays, when I used to love decorating, listening to music, etc. Being at work seems to be more of an effort now. Just want to be alone. The HRT I'm on eliminated the hot flashes, but does nothing for the depression/anxiety. I have to snap out of it, but don't know how.

This sounds familiar. I'm so sorry you're suffering. After I broke down in my gynecologist's office about 18 months ago, she prescribed wellbutrin xl. I was really resistant to taking drugs but I was at the end of my rope, and I have to say it could be a placebo for all I know, but I feel better just knowing I'm doing something to help myself. It seems to have no effect whatsoever except I don't want to kill myself any more.

It did seem to give me weird dreams when I first started on it, but only for a week or two. I still feel ups and downs, I still feel like me. Only, you know, not suicidal.

Everybody suffers, but misery is optional. Don't just hunker down and wait for it to get better -- you all deserve better than that.

Mood swings are normal, but consistent depression or feeling shutdown emotionally and intellectually are not. Nobody needs to try and live with that. Antidepressant meds are a good first step. They can get your brain chemistry straightened out so that you can do the other things you need to do to combat depression.

There's enough angst in life that we have to go through. Please don't accept the pain that can be treated.

I saw my December post. Nothing has changed; I think it got worse. I don't know what to do anymore.

cheerful1, so sorry to hear that you aren't feeling any better. I wish I could say something to make it easier to bear, but it's something that has to come from within. It's a discovery that I think has to be made by the person having the problem. All I can do is relate what has helped me. This comes from having intermittent depression and anxiety over a period of about 10 years. For years, I just thought it was hormones going nuts, and that probably plays a role in it. What I have found, though, is that for me, the role hormones played probably just brought it to the forefront. After fairly extensive soul-searching and reading lots of stuff about this and related subject matters, I honestly believe that this was something that happened to me that turned out to be a blessing. As long as I fought it and tried to rationalize it, and put it out of my mind, the more it persisted in its presence. If you will look at the thread I started titled "What are you reading?", you will find some things that I found useful. They may not be at all what you are looking for, but you might find something all your own style that will help. When I stopped trying to fight the depression and anxiety and started trying to understand it and look for underlying meaning in it, it made all the difference in the world. The old saying "when you can't beat'em, join 'em" has taken on a whole new light for me. I started keeping a journal, and I started writing poems on my really down days. Some people may think me nuts, but I believe that we have a "soul" and that "soul" exists partly in the moody dark recesses of ourselves, and that having serious depressions and similar mood problems is something that we need in order to get more in touch with ourselves to help give us new perspecive and make us more human and more loving individuals. I never had a problem with extending love to my children, my husband, my family, or friends, but it was very difficult to extend that love to myself. I can honestly say that I love being me now, and I believe the reason is because my emotional problems over the years led to my search for some understanding that helped me tremendously. If you need to be on anti-depressants, by all means, get on them, but don't spend the rest of your life feeling this way.
Mrs H

Cheerful, I was in the same place as you at this time last year. The funk I was in lasted eleven months. I don't know what to say to help you. I just slogged through every day because I knew I had to but I had no joy in anything anymore. Getting out of bed in the morning was a herculean task but I couldn't lay in bed for the rest of my life either. I knew that...but it didn't make facing each day any easier.

MrsH advised me back then that these low moods would come and go and there is no predicting them. I held onto that small tidbit and hoped every morning would be the beginning of the way back up and back to my normal self. It was a long time coming. I did alot of reading about perimenopause at that time and depression. We can't prevent what's happening to us but we can arm ourselves with as much knowledge as possible to help us get through the very hard times when we are so low and have absolutely no energy, ambition or drive to accomplish the smallest of tasks. I also recognized in myself the symptoms of adrenal fatigue. I stopped drinking coffee and tea, high sources of caffeine. For me, that helped my moods and extreme anxiety. I avoid all caffeine at this point because I'm feeling good again, normal. I have the energy back and I'm doing things I enjoy again. I've been feeling well for the last four months. I am absolutely dreading the next low cycle. But at least this time I will know what it is and try my damnedest to get through it.

Have you seen your doctor for a thorough check up? The day I saw my gyn last summer to discuss all this I was all but homicidal that day. I was talking 100 mph, I was having an extremely high anxiety level that day, I probably looked like my head was going to explode right off my shoulders. She'll probably be afraid to see me this year! But I had a thorough physical to make sure every bodily function was functioning within normal ranges. We did discuss the use of antidepressants. I didn't take them because I was more afraid of possible side effects. But that's just me. I don't like to take any medication.

I have to see my regular doctor in April for bloodwork relating to my cholesterol medicine. I can find out what other tests can be taken. The anxiety is terrible. I feel the same way, with my head wanting to explode. I want to cry for no reason. I don't show it from the outside, but my insides feel like they're shaking. I'm going to look up the symptoms of adrenal fatigue. It's great to have people to talk to that understand.

cheerful1, do look up info on adrenal fatigue. It can be really rough on you.
Mrs H

Mrs. H - how does one "soul search"? It's something I need to do for different reasons, but don't know where to start.

I'm in perimenopause and have suffered for years with a list too long to go on about. I began using bio identical hormone creams, (progesterone and testosterone) prescribed by a doctor, to help with migraine headaches. It's taken a few months but one by one my symptoms are lessening or disappearing. One of my symptoms was severe anxiety and that's now gone. In the beginning I had a few doctors scoff at my efforts but I persisted until I found someone to help me. Guess there aren't any drug companies doing formal studies. Why would they? They're not making any money!

Oh, Cheerful1, that's a tough one because everyone is so different. It took me years to come to any kind of peace and understanding about myself and my humanity. It was kind of a combination of a psychological and spiritual search. I had to start at the beginning of my life, look at how I was raised, what my family dynamics were, what my core beliefs were, what my psychological needs were (for me it was approval and the need for unconditional love). Those may have been things that I never felt I had as a child, although I have really nice parents. I had to try and understand where my fears are rooted and face them. I had to learn how to be emotionally secure and what I call "adult" and feel secure with everything that I am, positive and negative. The biggest help to me was the study of Jungian psychology. It took a long time, and I had to give up some beliefs that I have had for 50 years. It's been a total transformation in my way of thinking and being, and it's been absolute hell until the last few months. I started journaling my dreams, writing poetry to express my emotional pain, and I am serious when I say I was pretty self-centered in my endeavor, but I realized that no-one can do it for me. I have to do it myself, and I can't tell you how liberating it has been.
I surely hope you can find something that works for you. It opens up a whole new world.
Sincerely,
Mrs H

Mrs. H - I'm looking around for a mental health professional to help me out. I have to start somewhere. I don't think a spouse is impartial enough.

I was where you are now. Do a Search on "Emotional Freedom Technique" Especially by Robert Smith on you Tube. It will change your life, if you let it. :) Arum

cheerful1- I'm delighted to hear that, it's great! I've been concerned about you and hope you find something that works for you. Thumbs up!
Mrs H
Please keep me posted either by private message or on the forum, okay?

I agree on the adrenal fatigue. Adrenal supplements can be found at the health food store.

There's a health food store near my office. What would I ask for?

cheerful1, there's lots of supplements that are recommended for adrenal fatigue ranging from vitamins to herbs to other supplements.
There are two primary hormones excreted by the adrenal glands. DHEA and cortisol. DHEA is more abundant when you are young, and as you age, DHEA levels tend to drop, and cortisol levels tend to rise. Both are important, but DHEA tends to be depleted when you are emotionally stressed or physically stressed, especially if for extended periods of time. When DHEA levels go down, cortisol levels rise and can cause sleep problems as many of us experience. When my gyn tested my adrenal hormones a couple of years ago, my DHEA level was so low it was almost undetectable.
Mrs H