There are times I am not miserable but those times are fewer and fewer. Tari was his first love, he tried to find her before we started dating and did not. I had always like him and although I dated someone else; I ended it to date him Tari was married a few months before we were. They reconnected at an event the oldest daughter was at and they had lunches and so on but never told either spouse. It all ended up with them getting together one night and him not getting home until 1am; she has meetings one night a week for where she is employeed and her husband works two jobs and probably did not notice she was not home unless he was home alone. I am not to talk to him about it for after he lied the first time the therapist said I would never know the truth. It is just so hard not to think about things when the nights I have to be somewhere with the daughter he has a "work meeting" and then the date changes and so does the time. I just wish I could believe him but that is not going to happen; how do you forget the lies and the pain? If I could forget all the things he has said to me that were mean and so on; I could be happy but how to you rebuild trust when each time he lies again. I know he cannot afford the divorce right now but it is too miserable staying here and hurting. How can he hug me and say he loves me when he does not. I mean why tell someone if this was the case I would have divorced you; I wish we were not together. There are times he says he loves me but again how do you trust? Is there anyone out there who was or is in this same condition and made it through stronger than ever? Is there any hope.

I also am fair skinned with light hair. Without mascara, I look like I don't have ANY lashes. I also cannot wear black, looks very strange & harsh on me. Unfortunately, not many brands offer a true brown but after years & years of searching for the perfect mascara I found Clinique Lash Power Feathering in a real brown. Now I just pray they don't dicontinue it!!! http://reviews.clinique.com/3813/29794/clinique-lash-power-feathering-mascara-reviews/reviews.htm

Very interesting!

posting to bump this. For some reason there was a delay in when I posted this and when it actually showed up in discussion boards. Houzz seems quite buggy.