Your thoughtful sentiments brought tears to my eyes. What an amazing experience for both mothers and it's wonderful that your son has been able to know his birthmom.

My son will be 32 today and I'm grateful that his girlfriend has chosen to celebrate the occasion with us. Just like your son he was always away at college or grad school on his big day or working out of town.

When we gather tonight I'll think of you and include your son when we say grace and thank him and all those in the military for their service. We're not particularly religious but we do say grace and rather than recite a prayer we make it relevant to our daily life.

Happy Birthday to Lynne in New Mexico's son and thank you for your service.

Maire

Happy birthday to your son.

Your son is so blessed to have both of you. It is so nice to see the three of you come together for the right reasons. In this day and age of fighting and nastiness many cannot open their hearts enough to do this.

A friend of mine had a 21yr old who decided to "gift" her baby. In the hospital an older nurse came to her room just before she was to say her goodbyes to the new family she helped create (open adoption). The old nurse comforted her and they talked about how special what she was doing was. Later she told her mom about the visit and how it helped her see what she was doing was the right thing to do. My friend checked and there was no such older nurse anywhere in the facility. We all truly believe that a miracle had happened that day.

Lynn *and* Shannon, what amazing stories. Lynn, this is why this site continues to amaze me. We start to see each other's names in reference to paint color choices and window treatments, and gradually learn about women (and men) from all over the country/world who are quiet everyday heroes we wouldn't have met locally. I so admire the courage of everyone you mention in your story, including you. What's your son's advanced degree in? Is he using it in Afghanistan? I will be sending energies that all three of you can have August 25th together next year. (I also got a weird feeling that you manifested that phone call by writing the post :))

Awww. From one adoptive mom to another, I love reading things like this. Thank you to all the birth moms who have given us the ultimate selfless gift! Have a great lunch! I think of your son every single day, hoping he is safe.

Thank you so much for your kind, understanding replies. It's late and I'll reply in more detail tomorrow, but I did want to say that DS's unexpected call this morning just made my day :~)
Lynn

I can't wait to hear all about it. At some point, after all the great news is shared, I'll update you on the latest with Max and his birth mom. I don't want to hijack this celebration!

This is truly a wonderful post. It has made my day. God bless.

Bump! Lynn, we want to hear about your lunch!

Thanks so much for all your kind words. I was both very happy and very sad all day long yesterday. Happy because my son is doing what he wants to be doing and enjoying it very much, and that he was alive and healthy; sad because I worry so incredibly much about him over there and was wishing selfishly that he was safe back home again . . . that they all were.
But, his unexpected call (just as I was typing the last words of my post here) was fantastic! We actually had a nice long chat. It was so good to hear his voice and to know that he was OK. Afterwards, I headed down to Albuquerque so that I could meet up with his birthmom near to her office. We had a great lunch at a place called Brava Bistro and while we ate (gazpacho and bruschetta . . .yumm!), I filled her in on family , DS's call and passed along the message that he'd be calling her later that evening so that he could talk to his (half)sisters, too.
It was a good seeing her again. I love that she and DS look so much alike. Same coloring, same beautiful pale blond hair, same features, same smile. She and her two young daughters (she's divorced) have become like family to us over the years and have even spent some holidays here with us. I both love and admire her very much . . . plus, she's a lot of fun to be with!
As usual, we had someone take a couple of pics of us to send to our (hers and mine . . . we share him now) son.
But, please don't think I'm some kind of saint about all of this, I'm not. If she had turned out to be some nutcase, I wouldn't have this kind of arrangement with her. But, she's a wonderful, down-to-earth, very good person (awesome, actually) and everyone of us has benefited hugely from this openness and sharing.
Anyhoo, it was a fun lunch. Below is a (cropped) pic taken of us at the restaurant. It shows my special ring. I had them take one to show DS I was wearing it once again.
Lynn

Lynne, what a great day! That is a sweet little one year old baby! When we adopted our kids, we did it on a wing and a prayer. No $$ leftover for anything but baby/child needs. Your ring is special!!

You are very lucky that your son's birth mom is wonderful. I thought Max's was going to be great too but she turned out to be so needy that Max stopped communicating with her. She was texting him several times a day and if he didn't answer her STAT, she would get mad at him! After a heart to heart talk with me, a few tears shed and some hugs, he decided to cut her off again for now. She appears to be very self absorbed and no 22 year old young man needs a new mom who wants to suffocate him with demands. I reminded Max that he is at the stage where he is trying to separate a bit from his family to make his own life. He didn't need a mom who was demanding his time at her every whim.

What a great story, thanks for sharing it with us ! the ring is lovely, what a nice gesture, he was an adorable baby .

What a beautiful story, Lynn. I too think of your son often and pray for his safety.

Golddust, it's sad that Max's birth mom didn't turn out to be one that was easy to be around, but how wonderful for him that he does have you two incredible parents! And . . . you've gotten two incredible chldren.

Maire cate: our sons have the same birth date? Happy Birthday to him, too! I'm so glad that you were able to celebrate it with him this year and hope it was a lovely, very special evening for you all.

Shannon: OMG, your story gives me goosebumps every time I think of it! Yes, I believe that it truly was a miracle. I'll keep her in my prayers that someday she'll have the same type of relationship with her child and it's parents as we have with ours. Thanks for sharing that with me :~)

Flyleft: thank you! DS's Master's degree is in specific areas of Criminal Justice and, yes, I think you're right about that phone call from him. Gosh, it was fantastic to talk with him then, as I was feeling quite sad and worried . . . but I perked right up!(negativity and maudlin vibes are NOT what our service men and women need to be hearing when they call).

Vickij, Mitchdesj & Texanjana: thank you :~)
And, thanks for letting me talk a little bit about my son and his incredible birthmom here. Both are very very special to me.
Lynn

Hugs to you and your family, Lynn. What a sweet story!

Golddust, I do know that you actually have three kids; I meant to say that you've been blessed with two that you've been able to adopt, plus your DD.

Oakley, thank you :^)

LOL! I knew what you meant. BTW, this is the poem we used for our adoption announcements. It seems appropriate for the Garden Web. LOL!

My Child

I did not plant you, true,
but when the season is done,
When the alternative prayers for sun and rain are counted,
When the pain of weeding and the pride of watching are through,
I will hold you high.
A shining sheaf above the thousand seeds grown wild.
Not my planting, true
but my harvest, my child."

- Carol Lynn Pearson

Lynn your a very nice lady and it sounds like you and your husband have raised your son to have such integrity and honor. God love him and bring him home safely very soon.

Very sweet ring as a reminder!

As a birthmom reunited with my son for 19 years now, I want to say how much i appreciate your post and sentiments Lynne. Reunion, as well as adoption, is a complicated affair for all involved. It always breaks my heart to see adoptive parents resist reunion, guilt trip their kids, or give ultimatums that put our shared kids in the middle of something that is all about the parents' fears and feelings. If all adoptive parents knew how our hearts ached for the children we lost, how we worried and fretted for their safety and happiness, maybe more would have the compassion you show. My son's adoptive mom also welcomed our reunion, and me into their family. Now we share a beautiful little grandbaby. There is plenty of love to go around.