My DS was very different from the girls. But, the girls were very different from one another, too.

However, I did have a tougher time with DS because he WAS so differently minded. Had a BIG problem with the p-ing off the porch thing. The girls were very modest with the whole going naked thing and running around naked...but my DS? You would think that pants were the worst thing in the world.

And don't get me started on toys. I specifically wanted gender neutral toys, but the girls insisted on dolls and playing store and beauty shop, while my son would take their barbies, fold them over in his hand and use them as guns. He would talk about bombs and blowing up things (as a toddler!!).

As they grew older, they became more similar, but as little ones...the differences were like night and day.

DD has already taken to a screwdriver and trying to open up as many things as poss. that contains a battery. She's constantly in the boys dinosaur bin - her favorite.

This morning she tried to bite me when I took a matchbox car away from her. Kinda glad she doesn't have teeth yet now!

Maybe you have a budding engineer there. How close in age are your 3? I also have 2 boys and then a girl and they're about 2 1/2 years apart in age. I loved the fact that my daughter was rough and tumble, I'm not sure how she would have survived her older brothers if she had been prissy, girly girl. I think that's one of the reasons she excelled at sports.

And while I can't say that being the middle child was the reason my my son was more difficult I do think it had an influence. I used to call it the 'second son' syndrome. I thought he was stubborn and argumentative because he felt an implied competition from his older brother. It certainly didn't help his self image that he was second and middle. He would complain that he received the least attention. And it's hard to fault his reasoning- the first born had it all since he was an only child, then he came along then 2 years later the 'princess' was born and she got all the fuss because she was a girl.

Now my 3 are adults - 30, 28, 26 and the eldest son and my daughter still get along the best together. And it still seems that as long as only 2 of them are together at a time things go more smoothly. I hope you enjoy all the family dynamics you'll be observing.

Look out; I speak from experience. lol
My girl was climbing at 9 months; I found her climbing my son's bunk bed. She was so quick, couldn't use the bathroom without her getting into trouble.
Right before her 2nd birthday, she climbed on the Harley my ex was working on & it fell on her. After taking her to the ER and bringing her home in a full leg cast, what does she do? Goes to climb on the desk, caught her before the heavy monitor was going to fall.

Very smart kid - she was able to speak clearly at a year. Always had a great vocabulary, strong willed, always knew what she wanted.

She rode a 2 wheeled bike before her 3rd birthday; my son, he started around 5 w/o training wheels.

As far as the middle child thing.. I'm a middle child, swore I would never have an odd number of kids and did not. I was always left out. Even as adults; we've had times where we were close but once the 3rd one is in the picture, forget it. Doesn't matter if it was me with the older or younger; something always happened. Haven't spoken to either in years.

Try to encourage a loving relationship between the 3 now.

I don't think the walking or quick-learning has anything to do with being a girl. All children are different. I have two boys who are as different as day and night.

My oldest was very physically advanced, crawling at 5 months, pulling up at 6 months (his little legs would wobble and shake as he FORCED himself to inch along the furniture), cruising (fast! - literally running down the hall with one hand on the wall) at 8 months. But he wouldn't let go and walk until 10 months. My youngest, who didn't walk until after his first birthday, is much more of a dare-devil. The younger son is the one that climbs any and everything. We have to inventory his bumps and bruises every Monday so daycare will know what happened at home. Little did I realize that those early years would so accurately reflect their personalities. My oldest is very determined and very self-controlled, but is not a risk taker. He doesn't like to disappoint anyone. My youngest is much more footloose and fancy-free. He doesn't give a flip what you think of him. My boys are 5 years apart and the younger child regularly plays with his brother and his older friends. He is as tough as nails! I don't think he will ever lack for self-esteem.

I also worried (unnecessarily, but that is what moms do!) about their intelligence. My oldest just *knew* things. He just seemed to know colors/shapes/numbers/letters with zero effort. My youngest didn't pick up those things nearly as fast. I thought my oldest was normal so I was shaken by my youngest's lack of interest. The younger child started talking very early and got a lot of attention for being a "talking baby", but in my mind, he really couldn't "do" every much. When DS2 started attending preschool, he shone. He can memorize any story and repeat it word for word. Finally I had an Eureka moment. My oldest is a visual learner to an extreme. My youngest is a auditory learner. Neither is better than the other. They are just different.

I always say that God sent my younger son to teach me humility. I thought I had this parenting thing figured out ... WRONG!

I don't think it's a gender thing. I think kids just are their own people. They have personalities from the get-go. I have 2 boys and like spitfire's boys they are night & day. Although with us it's the older one who is wild & crazy & spontaneous and the younger who is the methodical reserved thinker. DS1's room always looks like a hurricane went through it and the sheets are always off the bed. DS2's room has all his cars lined up around the perimeter by size and his bed is always just so(he's 4.) DS1 would walk up to strangers and say, "Hi, my name is L." He would introduce me to his "friend" that he just met and ask if the friend could come over and play. DS2 has friends that are the kids of my friends, but he can only play one on one and would rather play by himself if there are more than 3 children present. DS1 would drop trou & run around naked all the time when he was little. DS2 won't pee on a tree even when we're camping. The list goes on & on. They are their own people in every way imaginable.

I think that having older sibs make a younger one want to catch up--so much more to see, so much more to investigate. Birth order and genetics trump sex, I think.

One of the major differences I noted in my boys and my girl is that the girl could sit down and do play-doh for more than an hour; for the boys 15 minutes and they were done.

I tried to be enlightened and not be gender specific with toys. The first time my oldest son got a Hot Wheel in his hand, he realized he had found his soulmate. My boys will play kitchen and tea party (they are not stupid, tea parties have cookies and thus it is worth playing) and my daughter can have light sabre duels or chase her brothers with blasters and later play with her American Girl doll so if anything, they are learning how to operate in both spheres.

While we do see differences and I definitely don't think it is all hype we try not to overemphasize any of it and just go with the flohich. Honestly, with 4, that is all we can do.

I only have girls, but my girls are all so different. My sister has 4 girls and 1 boy (all young) . . .again, they are all so different. My nephew has already broken some of the things you hear people say . . .he is the one who was most verbal earliest among her children, learned how to use the bathroom earliest (and on his own), etc.

This has nothing to do with gender but I thought cute. The other day he was opening the door to come outside and I suggested he ask his mom first . . .he said, "I am not going outside-- I am opening the door for you." He's 4! So thoughtful!

Anyway, I do think men and women are different in many ways, but I do wonder how much of that is due to socialization because of what I see among children-- the differences there seem to be due to personality, not gender.

Excellent points and Spitfire you've described my boys almost to a T. I will def. have to sit back and take notice as to how they learn things. Thanks for pointing that out!

DS1 although pretty outgoing is very much a thinker.
DS2 is way out there - do then think seems to be his motto.

We joke that if the 2 of them came upon a huge climbing tree DS1 would assess how quickly he'd get to the top and which branches would be best to get there and when he'd turn around to share the plan w/ DS2 about how they would go about it is when he'd hear limbs breaking and DS2 on the way down!

My DS would be telling us what species of tree it was, what climate it was native to, whether the fruit/nuts were edible, etc. while DD would be climbing it!