I'm fed up with Craigstlist no-shows!

14 years ago

I keep getting stood up by people who make appointments and never show up. Even after I ask them to PLEASE contact me if they change their mind they don't do it! Is this unconsious, rude, inconsiderate behavior like that everywhere or just here in CA? It doesn't happen every time but definitely more often than I think it should, I'd say about half the time.

I'm getting to the point where I don't trust anyone who contacts me expressing interest. I immediately wonder how this flake plans to waste my time. Adding words like "serious inquiries only" to the ad could be asking for trouble, baiting them to jerk you around because you've expressly said you don't want that.

What clues do you look for in their email that tell you this isn't worth persuing, how do you weed them out? Do you email them a couple times to test how serious they are and what do you say? DH says I give out our address too quickly, I should string them along a couple emails to see how committed they are. So I tried his technique and still the person failed to show up!

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Comments (13)

parma42
14 years ago
Did you get their phone #?

Maybe people would be hesitant to be a no-show if they knew they'd actually have to speak with you, after the fact.
flyingflower
Original Author
14 years ago
OH! You know I've never asked for their phone number. I give them mine so they can call me if they get lost en route but didn't think to ask for theirs. Good suggestion. I guess I never saw the need because I prefer to communicate via email when I don't know a person... but I see your point, with anonymity they don't have to worry about how they're perceived.

Now that I think of it I have noticed many ads where the seller asks for a phone number before they'll respond. I thought they only did that to weed out spammers. This could be the other reason.

Alright! I'm going to edit my ads and ask people to email me with their phone number is they expect me to contact them back.
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graywings123
14 years ago
Don't edit your ads asking for a phone number.

Wait for them to respond to your ad by e-mail, then in your response to them, give them your phone number and have them call you.
golddust
14 years ago
I agree with gray on this one. When you get a CL hit, just reply by asking them to call you and provide your number. When/if they call, you'll have a much better feel of the person. When/if they call, you can ask for their phone number (in case something comes up and you can't be home, you can save them a trip or whatever...).
flyingflower
Original Author
14 years ago
I don't understand the reasoning, why can't I ask for their phone number in the ad? Will people find that an invasion of their privacy and be turned off? I'd be asking for it anyway as soon as they called so what's the difference?

If an inquiry via email simply says "is IT still available?" I'm not going to reply to that in the hopes of getting their phone number, chances are it's a spammer and I will have just supplied them with my email address. We'll just call that a special case, those I'll ignore.

Ok, I'll change my ad again. lol
My3dogs ME zone 5A
14 years ago
In the Maine CL, I see ads asking for the potential buyer to email inquiries with their phone number included so the seller will know they are not a scammer.

My number is unlisted so never in a CL ad. I personally would not want to list a phone number in an ad, as it opens you up to any one who may just want to play a prank on someone.

I feel if a potential buyer does email with their phone number, and even better, asks a question or two about the piece being sold, it shows that they are serious. You can call them and feel them out over the phone as to whether they are someone you may not want to have visit your home.

Luckily, I have met only very nice people via CL, and never had a kook come here, and I have also not gone to the home of someone who 'concerns' me.
graywings123
14 years ago
Yes, some people may consider it an invasion of their privacy for you to insist on their sending you their phone number. Or they may fear that you are a spammer collecting phone numbers. Or they may not be able to take calls at work, etc., etc.

I don't respond to inquiries via email that simply says "is IT still available?" It's a spammer and not worth my time.
tinam61
14 years ago
This is one reason I've not tried selling anything via Craigslist myself. I have a few pieces of furniture that I would like to list and get rid of. However, I do worry about giving out our address and we also have an unlisted number, and I do not want to give that out. Then I guess we will move the pieces to be sold to the garage or outside, as I do not want people coming through our home.

A friend recently sold his boat via craigslist and all communication was through his cell phone. Probably not a bad idea.

tina
neetsiepie
14 years ago
It's not just CL that this happens. DH has his small biz that he runs in our home (well, the garage). He's got customers that call and say they're coming over, then don't show. Or say they're going to come back in 10 minutes, but never show (or call). He waits around for them and wastes his day.

It's all about setting boundaries. When I do CL I ask the emailer to call (home # only. We use our unlisted cell phones as our primary communication so when calls come on the home # we can screen them better and no cost to us). I tell them I'm only available at such & such a time, I don't work on their schedule, that way I'm not waiting around for no-shows. Trying to get DH to understand that, but to no avail so far. Always works for me!
pammyfay
14 years ago
I've had this happen, too.
Or someone will email asking for the item's dimensions (altho I always give the regular dimensions, sometimes interior dimensions are different--like for a bookcase, where the wood sides are very thick...). And then after I send them the additional info, there is no 'thank you but...' reply. Or someone asks how far I'm off a major route; again, no 'oh, sorry, i can't get there' reply.
Someone was jerking me around on a piece of furniture--his friend took his car so he couldn't make it until the end of the week, he needed to wait another day to get somebody to help him carry it)--and I just said, 'Sorry, but I need to offer it to the next in line.' I felt a tad guilty, because that could've been a lost sale if the next person also flaked, but I did end up selling the piece. I stressed way too much over a $40 sale.

I think it all comes down to people's manners nowadays. I'm no old codger, but I personally would never not send an email if I've decided not to buy something, and I certainly would just not show. It's all part and parcel of people today--look at how some people drive, how some people use bad language in public regardless of the very young or very old around them, how some people gab on their cellphones loudly without regard to others' comfort (or check their crackBerries in the middle of the movie at the theater!).
redbazel
14 years ago
Maybe it comes from twenty something years of buying beds and sofas and bookcases and swingsets and etc., through the classified ads in the newspaper, but I'm not waiting for anybody without a phone (or at least text) conversation. I don't like CL ads where they require anything of me except cash. That makes sense. I prefer CL ads where there is an email option and a phone option. If I just want measurements or do you still have it or what kind of wood.......then, I use email to ask my question. If it's an ad for the EXACT PERFECT SMALL TABLE I'VE BEEN LOOKING FOR FOR 4 MONTHS I'm going to make the phone call to say "Can I come see right now??"

I email the seller and ask for more info, more photos or just where they live. If interested in seeing, I email (or call) and tell them I want to come see. Can they send their ph # to make arrangements or I send them mine and ask them to call me so I can make arrangements. I am NEVER going to get in my car to go see your stuff unless I have phone confirmation that you are expecting me.

Same with buyers. They can email me till the cows come home and I will answer questions, measure height, etc., but if you email that you would like to come look at the dining set in person, then, I will send you my phone # and tell you to call me to set up an appointment to see. If you don't call, we don't deal. Simple.

May I just say that in many craigslist transactions, I have only had one person not show up to see something when they said they were coming? And the lady had also said she would call me the next morning before she came over, so to tell you the truth, when there was no call that day, I had NO expectation.

If I send you an email and ask:
Do you still have the chair?
or...
How tall is the cabinet?
or...
What condition is the table in?

I may very well not send another email after you respond if I don't now want to see your item. The only time I feel compelled to stay in touch is when Definite Plans have been made between us to view the merchandise.

Red
Jane_the_Renovator
14 years ago
We give complete details (dimensions, maker, links to manufacturer website if possible, and a picture) and then state

"ITEM is available for pickup on DAY between HOUR and HOUR. Please call NUMBER if you are interested."

The day is always a day when we would be home all day anyway. Pickup takes place on our porch or outside, unless the item is extremely unwieldy.

This weeds out a lot of the flakes. We always take at least three or four phone numbers of interested people. If one doesn't work out, then we call the next.

We find that we get a lot more flakes when we list items in the free section, so in extreme cases we will book three pickup people for one day, each three hours apart. If pickup person 1 does not show, then we call pickup person 2 and cancel #1, and so on. No show, no item.

Eventually the items do go, but sometimes it can be a slow process.
redbazel
14 years ago
Wow, Jane! You have some serious patience!

I make a plan with one buyer, they come, they buy, I'm done. The only way I call someone else, is if the first buyer decides to pass on my item, and I've only had that happen once.

Red

I'm fed up with Craigstlist no-shows!

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I'm fed up with Craigstlist no-shows!

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