Well, I would keep the flapper dress! If you can wear it, it looks perfectly au courant for a dressy event. The beading is lovely.

As far as the wedding dress, if you are okay with giving it up (and I do encourage simplifying and getting rid of 'stuff'), try donating it to a local high school or college theater department. I did that with quite a few old dresses, cloaks, etc. several years ago. Your dress would be perfect for a period piece!

Both dresses are just wonderful!!

First of all, they are absolutely gorgeous.

If it were me, I would go to the expense of storing them properly and keep them in a dark out of the way space. They really won't take up that much room. It would be wonderful to pass then down to future grandchildren.

If you just don't want them, sell them to a vintage clothing shop. There are people who buy these vintage clothes and love/care for them like children! You could make some money and know they are going to a good home.

Here is a link that might be useful: Storing vintage clothing

Ooh that's tough on the wedding dress because it's so small. We had a fashion show from uniforms from our university archives, and only our smallest students could wear them. But a vintage store would definitely be interested.

I would keep the flapper dress, though, if it fits you. That is awesome.

kellyeng that's a great link - thank you.

I'm so conflicted about them. The flapper dress is a bit large on me and kind of looks like a sack, but that was the style. The wedding dress is tiny and will likely never be worn again. I don't look at it often but it tugs at my heart to think of getting rid of it. I think buying the right storage materials is what I should do. What's another 2 small boxes to move and store??!! Maybe someday I'll have a granddaughter and can show her a picture of her great grandmother on her wedding day - then show her the actual dress.

One of my neighbors just went through this. She had to clean out her Mother's home and discovered 2 wedding dresses from the 1880's, several christening gowns, and 3 veils. Neither she nor her sister had any place to keep them so she took photographs of them for herself and her sister and then listed them on eBay.

She was surprised at the number of bidders she had and was happy with the price she got.

My Aimee is a huge collector of vintage clothing. How much would you sell it for if you are interested...

If you have a local museum or historical society, consider asking if they'd be interested in adding the wedding gown to their collection. Lovely wedding dress.

Seriously, you should eBay it. You could get a nice chunk of change for that beauty.

seeker12 the town I live in does have a historical society but I'd be reluctant to donate it there since there's no connection to my mom. I'll have to try and remember where they were married - something like the Women's club or Library club of Chicago. If it still exists at least there'd be a link - if they even have any type of archives or collections.

Golddust - geesh! I have NO idea about pricing - hadn't even thought about that. Ebay is filled with vipers now so I've stayed away - but define nice chunk of change!!

A friend of mine has her grandmother's flapper dress framed and displayed in her living room. It looks really great.

This may be crazy, but you could take the wedding dress to a talented seamstress and have it made into a pillow...? Use the beading as an accent?

I would keep the flapper dress, and I would cut out a section of the pretty beading on the wedding dress and make a picture collage of it with a wedding photo and other wedding momentos that I could find. I have my mother's watch in pieces framed on black velvet. The story of my father giving it to her is so amazing that she couldn't part with it and had it mounted. Now it's mine! :)

I was thinking along the same lines as sueb. If you are going to give the dress away anyway, why not remove the beading? A pillow like sueb suggests or even some kind cut the sections with the beads and have it appliquéd onto a piece of the wedding dress and then framed.

Even though it tugs at your heart to think about letting go of those gorgeous dresses, will you really get any pleasure from them having them stored away? Unless you are sure someone in your family will want them, they may end up going to the goodwill or land fill when you die. I'd want them to go to someplace or someone to enjoy them now and for the rest of their fabric life. A local theater company, (or college arts department as suggested - they may be too nice for high schoolers to care for). Maybe a fashion design school, or something similar would be interested. You could donate them to a charity auction for an appropriate organization. Even though a worthy organization had no connection to your mother when she was alive, it will via her dress. If they end up at the goodwill someday, there would be no connection there, either.

If you sell them, whether on ebay or via GW, or to a vintage clothing store, you will know that whoever ends up with them is going to LOVE them. No one is going to buy them to abuse or harm them, they will live on in someone else's heart, honoring the amazing hand work of your grandmother (did she make the wedding dress, too?)

I would keep both dresses, packed in properly conserved ways, along with bridal photographs, wedding annoucements or any other physical documentation that you have. The box containing them won't be huge and once closed up it doesn't seem like clutter to me.

If you keep them, and pass them down through your family, I'm willing to bet that they will become a cherished family heirlooms. It doesn't matter if they can't or won't be worn again, that's not the point of keeping them. The fact that the flapper dress was also made by a family memeber, in a highly iconic style, makes it seem even more important to me.

We have wedding dresses from my DH's family from the early 1800's, well before the Civil War, and they are definitely family treasures. It seemed that someone or other in each generation was willing to give them house room, to keep them in the family. Now they are nearly 200 years old, but beloved bits of family lore. I can remembe my late MIL showing them to me when I got engaged, along with items that ahd belonged to each of these brides.

When they eventually came into my DH's care, we consulted with a fabric conservator, who helped us pack them in ways that will keep them in excellent condition until we pass them on. We have no children, so I will have to give some thought to which niece or nephew (or cousin) to pass them on to.

Obviously intact, 200 year old examples of clothing worn by documented people seem important antiques, now. But I sure that 140 years ago, they may have just seemed like used clothing, out of style, etc. But my DH's ancestor's recognized that these wedding dresses told stories about their family and they kept them safe (and w/o the benefit of acid-free tissue!). So the dresses could be seen by people four or five generations hence.

HTH

L.

A Pillow? No. You can't desecrate that beautiful creation. Seriously, I've sold swimsuits on eBay for hundreds of dollars. They did not compare to this creation. I'd start bidding at a thousand and market it, market it, market it. Key words are important.

I would keep the flapper dress--- and wear it!--- but say goodbye to the wedding dress. From the picture it looks badly discolored and I can't imagine anyone wearing it regardless of size. Sometimes things just have to be thrown away. :-(

When I originally read your post, I had had same pillow thoughts as Sue. But since Goldy has revealed how valuable it is, it seems to make sense to sell it.

Perhaps you can use the proceeds to purchase something that reminds you of your mom. Something nice but more practical - a piece of vintage birthstone jewelry or some art.

It's a shame it got so discolored. You can have it cleaned (restored); pack it away until someone possibly needs it. TLC has a show where they redo wedding gowns. The gal some times mixes new fabrics with the old to change the wedding gown.

Old gown made into this

I do not have family. Kills me when people toss or sell things

Here is a link that might be useful: Something Borrowed, Something New

This post was edited by roselvr on Thu, Aug 1, 13 at 8:24

The wedding gown may be too discolored to wear as a wedding gown, but overall, if you didn't know it was originally white, it's still a pretty dress. If someone wanted to wear it, I'll bet a talented dressmaker could cut off the train and use the fabric to add room to the bodice and sleeves.

If you aren't ready to give these dresses up, don't.

I would love so much to find my great grandmother's wedding gown stored away. What a wonderful family heirloom. I say preserve it and store it. Of course, I also understand that family heirlooms and photos can become a burden.

Do you have photographs of your mother in the dress? If so, that is enough of a reminder.

I would never toss it or cut it up. I like the idea of selling it to a collector, and hope they don't cut it up.

Thanks you for all your different points of view - every one of your suggestions for the wedding dress is something that's gone through my mind at some point over the years.

I can't toss it, cut it apart or have someone else cut it. I think I could donate it - to the right organization. If it were to be sold, I think olychick is right that only someone who really loves and appreciates the dress would buy it, so that is a possibility I could live with. Not sure what I could buy as an appropriate remembrance as deee suggested, since I already have many other things (jewelry, furniture, antique clocks....) that are family items and many specific to my mom. As I said, I am the official keeper of all the stuff, my only surviving sibling wanted very little when our parents died. He's 11 years older than I, widowed and just put his house on the market so he's asking ME to take stuff! He has 3 daughters in their 40's, and I've asked my nieces about the dresses - they love them but don't want them.

But dear liriodendron, has articulated the thoughts and feelings that rattle around in my mind when I consider what to do; these items tell stories about people in my family, so for now, I'm going to keep them safe, have them properly stored and..... wait. Thank you all for your thoughts.

I tried to find a picture of my grandmother in her dress but don't know if one was ever taken.

My grandmother, back row right, with her parents seated and her siblings.

And one of my favorite pictures of her, although she didn't like it.

My parents....... and the gown.

Duplicate post

This post was edited by dlm2000 on Thu, Aug 1, 13 at 9:30

DLM,

I think that you will never be sorry to have kept them.

To keep them from being seen as "clutter" after you're gone, get them them properly packed and stored and then pick the right person to have custody of them for the next generation. It may be one of your DIL, or if you have nieces or nephews, perhaps one of them.

I'd choose someone who appreciates family stories, and who would be a good - and generous with access -custodian of shared family history. In my DH's family when I got engaged there was a small family gathering,(mostly female) and the wedding dresses and some other family wedding memorabilia were sort of the organizing theme for the party. It was a great way to meet my some of my in-laws-to-be and feel included in my new family's story, Since my engagement diamond was re-set from an family piece, everyone wanted to see it in my new ring. It was a lovely tradition and I plan to do it when my nephew finally settles on a bride - even if it seems a bit old fashioned. What else is an elderly aunt for?

Many times I hear people express a bit of envy that in my family and in my DH's we have so many "heirlooms" from generations gone by. Some things have by sheer old age have now become valuable, but most still have only modest monetary value. But they all tell the stories of the family - sometimes in modest circustances and sometimes not. Each succeeding generation chose to take care of these items and pass them on,probably always at some cost of in terms of time, trouble, or even perhaps the forgone value of selling them. This speaks volumes about the values cherished and passed down in our families. And that alone is worth the effort preserving these things as totems of the clan.

Anyone can start one's own chain of family hierlooms, today. It has to start somewhere.

L.

What wonderful items and wonderful pictures! I'm so glad you decided to keep them. I'm one who love to have family items passed down so again, glad to hear they are staying with you - for now.

I have my MIL's wedding dress. It was on the cover of 'Bride Magazine', I was told over and over.

Seems like everytime someone dies, I get a chest (from them) that I fill with their stuff. I have three chests. One for my parents (camel back), one for an Aunt/Uncle (from over seas) and one for my in laws ( who painted it, anyway?) 'Mom' has her wedding dress inside her chest. It lives in an upstairs closet, for now.

My father made a solid walnut hope chest for me when I was 16 - that's what I asked for. It's rather large (my mother used to refer to it as the coffin!) and difficult to place in our house right now so is in the basement (perfectly dry, heated and AC) filled with family photos. But someday, when we move, it will have a proper home, perhaps at the foot of a guest bed. And I can't think of a more fitting place to hold the dresses.

I vote for donating the wedding dress to a museum. At least then you will know that others will get to enjoy seeing it and also it will be professionally preserved.