I've answered the above questions offline but I forgot to post here. And I've added some additional photos in the "Garden Photo Galleries" under Proud Projects and Landscape Design. For the record: We used Omniflex - monofilament fishing line, 20-lb. test (018. diameter). The collage of photos shows one of my 2007 Gardening Projects: Growing fllowering vines along fishing lines up the sides of our little stone house. It worked! My favorite of the vines (and the thickest) are the hops. I also have purple hyacinth bean, Exotic Love (Spanish Flag), morning glories, moonflower and scarlet runner beans. Last year I just did luffuhs on the south side of the house. The lines, four of them, stayed up thru our stormy zone 6 winters but we added 12 more, this spring and I am going to have my husband add even more for 2008, maybe another 12. I will try bottleneck gourds and do more hops since they came in so nice and thick and the first of everything. Any suggestions for vine options would be appreciated. I like thickness and of course color (BIG flowers) and contrast. Here is a link that might be useful: vines on fishing lines

I'm so sorry about your loss. If you can find a grief counselor, you minister or a friend who can direct you right now I think it may be a good idea...not that I think you are ready to totally deal with your grief, but to help you get some semblence of order into your life. You NEED to get that Social Security started. Don't worry about touching his stuff, that can all wait. I'm sorry about giving the car away, and don't know your family dynamica, but doubt you can get it back. If you have life insurance you can collect on your husband you need to get that going also. Now the next thing I found from watching a friend go through the loss of a child is to remember that everyone grieves in their own way, so don't compare yourself to ANYONE ELSE. Don't hurry this, and don't worry if you are "not grieving correctly' (As you may find people telling you at some time, they are wrong, not you). Right now you need to take one day at a time, and within that one day, you will find that there are times you are taking one minute at a time. People will tell you it will get easier, and it will, the pain lessens. The love you had for your husband doesn't lessen! Don't worry about that. The guilt will lessen and go away (you can What if yourself to a nervous breakdown, but it wasn't your fault you didn't know!!) Come here often, there are so many wonderful people who can help you...Lulie-Wayne is the first one that comes to mind (and I know there are others, I apologize for not naming you as I've seen how special all of you are, I will lose this message if I go back to find other names). They have been where you are and can help in so many ways. Use they're shoulders to cry on, knowlegde they had to gain to help you, and their ears to just listen. Vickey-MN

Im sorry for your loss also I know what you are feeling. I lost my husband on Dec.1st it has been a month today. We haven't been apart that long since we were married 36 years ago. I feel like half of me is gone. Morning noon and night are the worst. I went back to work on Dec. 26th and I literaly had to fight with myself to get there. I was glad that I did because not everyone was at work because of holidays so it was a tad easier. It was good to be with people. My kids are grown with young children of their own and they have been with me as much as possible. We have horses and dogs that my husband always cared for so it has been very trying to keep up with feeding them. My son has been over every night to help me with the chores and that is nice. It's just when he leaves I get all blue and cry again. The weather is also a concern and bless God it hasn't been too bad. My husband had a massive heart attack and thank God he didn't suffer but boy have I. I can't believe he is gone and it is hard to believe that he has been gone a month. This note is probably not very uplifting but I think it helps to let people know about your loss because others know what you are going through. My problem is that I was the listener and my husband was the talker and it is hard for me to open up to people about this. Thankfully my husband's friends have been so helpful with giving me hay for the horses which is short supply because of the hot summer. So I know that providing me hay is a sacrifice for some of them. We also burn wood for heat and so many neighbors have come through with wood for me. I feel lucky that my husband had so many friends that cared for him and that it is carrying over to me. I will be praying for others that are in this terrible grief hoping that all of us can get through this coming New Year the best way we can. God bless you Louweze

I am in the same situation. It’s New Years Day and I am lying here depressed. My adult son came to temporarily live with me and my new husband of 2 years about 7 months ago. He asked and my husband said yes. My husband decided not to charge him rent or anything, even told him he can eat what we eat, wash clothes, basically our home is his home. We have a written agreement which we all signed. My son takes out the garbage and cuts grass, clean his room & bathroom. He’s making plans to move back out as agreed. He has savings. Is my son perfect? No, but he is not disrespectful. Other than not walking around the house naked, nothing else has changed in our marital relationship. My husband took it upon himself to step in as a father to my son and even asked my son if that was ok. His biological father…didnt do his job and has no real relationship with him. My husband and son get along fine. However i know my husband is faking it. If my son makes one mistake or forget something, my husband is very critical and judgemental. He complains to me telling lies about my son and says hateful things about my son. i love my husband but this is unacceptable to me. i am beyond hurt and angry. My son doesnt even know how my husband really feels. What brought to this post…my husband thought my son had left and left the door unlocked at 2am. My son was actually outside. Anyway all i literally said was to tell him and immediately he accused me of coming to my son’s defense and starts going off. I am confused. If someone does something wrong or forgot something, isnt the natural thing to do is tell them? What did I say wrong? There is so much more I could say to paint the picture of everything that has gone on. I dont want a divorce but this is too crazy!