Wow Lenore, you've really been thru it!! That must have been just awful, knowing something was wrong but no one believed you. It infuriates me that we walk around in our bodies and know our bodies, and they tell us nothing is wrong! As it turns out, I have multiple problems: Kidney stones in both kidneys (which I'm passing--yes, painful, but at least no surgery for them), a large cervical growth which was causing lots of bleeding, breast lumps in both breasts (isn't it nice how my body does everything symmetrically??), and diverticulitis, which they say is causing the intense pain I'm in. Dr. Harris wanted to schedule surgery right away for the cervical polyp, but he told me I'd just have to learn to live with the pain from the diverticulitis. Live with the pain???? Well, Dr. Harris quit me because I wanted to get more info before jumping into surgery. I actually panicked at the thought of surgery. He told me I would bleed to death if I didn't have surgery and he wasn't wasting anymore time on me, I should promptly find myself another doctor, he quit. I was mortified! I saw an herbalist who prescribed something that stopped the bleeding for 21 days, and greatly decreased my flows. Now I have very minor spotting between periods, but sometimes no spotting at all. So it was over two months after Dr. Harris quit me before I decided to see another doctor. I was so afraid of surgery and so afraid of insensitive doctors, and I just almost didn't see one. I saw an ad for a free mammogram thru the YWCA Encore Plus program and I called them. They scheduled everything, and They are paying for my doc appts and mammogram and any biopsies I need. I saw a nurse practitioner last week. She verified that I several lumps in both breasts that are of concern. I have a mammogram on the 25th. She also said my cervical growth could be cancer. She actually said the "c" word, which freaked me out and I was crying there in her office. But she didn't get upset and quit me. Instead she tried to answer my questions. She wanted to schedule me an appt with a gyne and I told her I wouldn't see anymore male doctors! So she found a female gyne for me. I go see her on the 29th. I worry that it's cancer. Everyone I know who had cancer has died from it. And I know if I have it, it's pretty far advanced. So it scares me. But it's possible I can just have a hysterectomy and be done with it all. I have found no joy in being a woman all these years. Painful heavy periods since I was 11, migraines, etc. are just no picnic. But surgery terrifies me. The last time I was in the hospital was 19 yrs ago, giving birth to my only son. I guess I'll do what I need to do, once I find out what that is. People tell me the not knowing is the worst. But actually, I find that ignorance is bliss. I'm not sure I want to know. Casper

As I lay here in bed reading this, I have a large pad on 2 sheets of paper towels folded long ways two line that pad, 2 depends pull-ups on, a disposable Chuck, a fabric Chuck and a towel underneath all of that. I along with many other women that I've read about on this thread have suffered these 'monster' periods for a very long time, well actually to the tune of 25 years. I have left my stamp (flooding Period gushing pools) at work at home, at the child Gymboree class, on Greyhound buses, on every form of Transport known to man. I have always had to have the heaviest flow pack of pads I can find along with Depends pull ups and tampons and black pants at several strategic locations during my day. One kit in my car, one at my job and always in the house. I could identify with the frustration and I was happy that some people mentioned the mental anguish and the feelings of being just out of it. Feeling isolated and unsociable. Over the last 25 years I have adapted to living with the memory loss, fog and just kind of drifted through my day on auto during these episodes. I was not financially position to be able to stay home during the illness, and on one occasion I remember coming up off the subway train and bent over on the street screaming in pain. But this was New York so everyone passed by and ignored me, indifferent to what they were seeing. At that time a taxi driver saw me and had pity on me. He insisted that he take me home. but I was adamant because I didn't want to lose my job; so I told him to take me to work. By the time I got to work they had to call an ambulance and rush me to the hospital. I was dehydrated and anemic due to the blood loss. it was the first of many occasions like that, and I would frequent the ER bleeding heavily and dizzy over the following years. 10 years ago I had three fibroids removed of which one was the size of a grapefruit. The monster periods lightened up for maybe a year or two but then it came right back with a vengeance and was like Clockwork every 3 weeks as per usual. Heavy and uncontrollable with massive clotting. I was too afraid to have the hysterectomy because of people's horror stories including my own mothers; and the fact that it apparently brings on menopause, along with all the syndromes almost immediately. My little sister had gone through menopause at age 43, so I figured I'd wait it out thinking I can't be that far behind. I am 51 years old, and to my absolute Delight had not experienced a period in the last 7 months; so I thought I was done with it all , thinking that it was all behind me, that the nightmare was over, and got rid of all my stationed 'kits.' Yes it meant I had terrible hot flashes, but those paled when measured up against those monster periods... Which brings me right back to today laying here reading all your heart wrenching stories. At this point I don't know what to do and I really don't want a hysterectomy after suffering so much with the fibroid removal. moreover I don't have the luxury or option of taking time off of work. I guess I will make the appointment with the gynecologist and see what options are out there two decades on. I'm hoping for a miracle. Again I want to thank all you ladies for being so candid and sharing your stories. It has been really helpful to me and, I'm sure, to many other women going through this nightmare. I wish you all success with your various treatment options. I will definitely come back and update you on what treatment the gynecologist recommend.

My mother's friends called me her 'hot house flower'. They thought she pampered me too much. I was an 'only' and she almost lost me. When I was less than three weeks old I was operated on for pyloric stenosis: valve into the stomach constricts so no food can go in; projectile vomiting is the symptom. (This is my ugliest scar -- all down my middle -- no two-piece bathing suits for me!) I've been told they didn't give infants ether then -- only a whiskey-soaked rag to suck. I had all the usual childhood diseases. Measles was no big deal, but I had a terrible case of chicken pox with high fever; I couldn't walk. Still have a dime-sized scar on the side of one knee. You can get mumps in all three sets of glands in your neck; guess how I know that! Avoided the dreaded polio but had classmates who were cripled by it. The general 'cure' for sore throats was to have your tonsils removed; I did. School required vaccinations, so I had those. I remember our doctor making house calls. It probably limited contagion -- one reason I dislike seeing the doctor is mingling with all those sick people in a waiting room! I loved my first pediatrician. She kept a pair of Kerry Blue dogs in her office! They slept under her desk.

Dear all, Thank you for your thoughtful comments. I know I wrote a long post, but mkroopy, I do not expect everyone would understand my position in a short post. Thank you Sylviatexas, Readinglady and Justmetoo. You have been very understanding. In explanation to my position : 1. Before I got married, my parents had warned me that is anything were to happen (Inter-racial marriages in my country had boast issues like this before) I am not to return home crying when my marriage fail. I know my parents loved me and meant well, they only warned me of what would happen and they were absolutely right. but they are now retired, I cannot bear to burden them with my issues. If I am to find money, it will be on my own responsibility. 2. Like I mentioned above, by Muslim law, a wife can only divorce her husband for several reasons. You can refer to this : "Men have the right to divorce. If a man dislikes keeping his marriage for any reason, he divorces his wife and compensates her financially by paying her what is termed mut'a payment. This is in addition to the regular financial sustenance for her living, in case she has the custody of their children. Divorce becomes in effect once the husband utters or writes down any of the legal formulae of divorce such as: �I divorce you� or �you are divorced��etc. The husband can do these either by himself or through a messenger. In case it is the woman's desire to end the marriage, the situation becomes different. Her reasons might be that she has received ill treatment, the husband is unable to sustain her financially or he is sexually impotent. She can prove these defects in front of the judge, then the judge grants her divorce with a full access to all her financial rights. Also, if the husband was good to her but she does not want to keep on for an emotional reason, then she asks for what is termed khul'. This means to be granted divorce but without any access for financial rights, plus paying back the husband the dowry that he already paid on marrying her." I have made it clear to my husband that I don't want anything from him if he divorces me, but it seems like he is smart, he knows I won't be able to find a reason to divorce but for emotional reasons. I'm sure do hope that I'm wrong; I hope he doesn't want my money, after all his late wife did leave some for him. I am just like a pawn, I am only to suffer in a position where there is nothing I can do. 3. To Justmetoo, the solution you proposed was exactly what I did. Like I mentioned above, after my parents told me to ignore her coz eventually she will leave, I did exactly that. I ignored her. I stopped whatever I did before ie.plates to the dishes, pick up your mess, ask for permission first, spend your money wisely, you don't need another concert etc, MY HUSBAND DEEMED ME UNCARING. And again I say, I had established an understanding that I am not going to do anything anymore to make it better with her, unless she starts to do so herself. This are how things are now, she doesn't need my permission for anything, and in fact even if she does ask me, it is because she was told to by her father. And even if she did, it was, "I'm going out now, Ok Annie?" or "I'm going to borrow the bathtub, OK?" or "Can you send me to my friend's house later?" I know because her father asks her to do so, she knows I was the one who made the changes in the first place, so she behaves worst. 4. About her mother's things, you are terribly right. It was definitely my fault for clearing up the things. I just couldn't bear to live in the bedroom, which is the house under he name willed to the daughter (we are moving out sometime in 2013, AT LAST =( ) with no where to put my things. I felt really not at peace living here, everywhere I look it was just her possessions and reminders of her. Like I said, my Husband seemed very ignorant about how I felt. He had in fact mentioned I didn't know her and had no rights to hate her. She cheated on him and I didn't, I still don't understand why I get treated as if I was the one who did him wrong. I hate her terribly, It was because of what she did, that my husband is bitter and refused to clear up the mess. It was his responsibility and he dutifully neglected it and left me with the bitter consequences. I was told that the daughter was not very close to the parents. In fact, with both working adults and one spending too much time with someone else, a lot of things were left to other people to be responsible for. The maid handles a lot of things and she was given all she wanted so she wouldn't whine and cause troubles to her parents. Most definitely, I read her blog and she wrote that "my mum bullies me and don't support me" and "I didn't cry when mummy died." In fact, there wasn't an issue at all, until I came in the house. God knows what did she realize, but I doubt she appreciated her mother much until she realized someone else became the new woman in the house. The only thing I can think of now, is to live like nothing happened. Ignorance is not my forte, my blood boils to see her mess and her unthoughtful attitude about eating her share of food at home. It's makes me terribly sad that my husband says I don't care for either of them. I would have to save up my money wisely, study hard and start building a better life for myself in the future. Meanwhile, I would just have to take everything thrown at me. PS : My husband has mentioned in the past the one thing he wont tolerate is cheating and that consents a divorce. I can't do that, and even if I faked it, the bad would just be reflected on me. My husband is very smart of pretending like everything is beautiful and on cloud 9 in front of people. No one would believe of his character or assume something is wrong with our marriage.