Hi Jannie, I'm so glad that your daughter came around. How tough for you. I also have a chronic illness, though not as severe as yours, and cleaning is just not always possible. When I was a teen my mother was very depressed and the house always looked awful. I blamed her entirely and unfairly. I did try to help, but she wasn't really able to work with me. I think she felt that she had to do everything herself, and felt insulted when anyone else did some cleaning. It would have been really helpful if there had been a third party (like a therapist) to help us work on these issues. I had 5 other siblings though, and I think my mom barely noticed my rage. As for having temper tantrums, I'm not sure I'll ever outgrow them. Last year I reached the end of my rope and stormed through the dining room kicking Polly Pockets left and right, hollering "I'm sick of picking up all these toys and I'm not going to do it any more!!" (dd,6, quietly walked downstairs to her father and said "Mama is flipping out.") I'm still finding those stupid little shoes. Anyhow, after that I got on the SHE system (same as Flylady, but using paper instead of computers.) What a difference!! I hope you and your daughter can continue to work together. (((hugs)))

My own children are grown and married. I married someone who has teen children. Two daughters aged 12 & 16, and adopted son who is 14, and came to live with us after we had been married a year. My husband kept it from me that the mother wanted this child out of her home because he elbowed her in the stomach and slammed the car door on her arm when he was 10. The reason being the mother would not buy him a stuffed animal from Cracker Barrel. The kids are still the bigger problem, but the husband is an enabler for the disrespect and behavior. I started in counseling in March to figure out what I wanted to do about this confusing marriage. My counselor told me, that you should have called CPS to protect your own child, and CPS would have handled this out of bounds, renegade son of your partner. What transacted is indeed very serious. My experience can tell you your situation is going no where. Raise your own child first, then seek out your companionship. Even in that event it may not work out, then you will still be better off because you protected your own child. You do not have any control over how his son acts, you cannot control the fact that your partner wants him around. I will tell you the kids will always come before you, probably even after they are adults. I just had something very valuable stolen from the home. My husband is acting like it is "no big deal." And why should I call the police to report a burglary, and speak to the boy about what he knows about it? I should suck up the $2800 loss, and forget and live without it. Does this tell you how the events will go in your life in the future? Right now, I am trying to find a home, so I will not have to move my belongings twice, that is why an apartment is a last resort for me to consider.

I'm not a Union fan one little bit, but if someone in the Union would be upset with you, then you need to be a professional and stand up for yourself. Not complaining but a statement of facts if asked. You will do your job very well and want to maintain your standards without complications..(co worker) Hold your head up high. You just as worthy of a fair evaluation as anyone. Just a clue, some of the co workers buddies probably already know what she's like. I think you have a good plan. Stay level headed, stay strong, do your work extra well. Keep in touch with your supervisor, isn't that what he's for anyway? I mean doesn't he have to know what is happening, good or bad? HE should have to deal with what ever happens to the neglected clients. That's her job and HIS job to make sure she is keeping up. I was thinking about my various jobs in the past. I'm sure I wouldn't have a problem letting any of my supervisors in on a problem that I could not take care of myself. Isn't it destructive to have her neglecting her clients and passing them on to you when your hands are already full? Ask your boss to help you solve this by first stating what you want to do to fix this, asking for him to be there for you if your co worker needs help understanding her job requirement/ duties. HE should be the one investigating though. Is it so hard to actually see what her work load is, and what your work load is? Isn't there some sort of paper work that indicates what work goes to who. (did that make sense?) Plain and simple, she's going to have to find someone else to walk on. You can do your clients and learn to say NO to her. I think you are really giving her way to much power. Sure the politics are intimidating but you can show anyone your worth by acting worthy. I kinda doubt Karma will catch up with her, I DO think that her refusal to do her job in a timely manner will catch up with her. What does your supervisor say about that? It's not your responsibility to micro manage HER is it?

I was just reading this thread, and noted someone suggested an electric fence rather than a chain. I'd like to agree with the electric fence... but sometimes even if they've been trained to stay inside, some times something will call them to go out. My sister in law lost her dog that way. He'd been let out to do his business, but something must have attracted him enough to bounce past that fence. He went missing. My brother found him a day later, hit by the train that runs nearby. That dog was an amazing dog - also a pit bull mix. I'm wondering if a run would be a good solution, give the dog a chance to move around more without getting into a situation like the wonderful one I just wrote about. (That dog had been indoors about 95% of the time.)