A doorbell sounds like a good idea. Get a remote battery one so you do no have to do any electrical or wiring. Make sure the sound of the garage doorbell is very different from the front door bell. Since this remote doorbell has the buzzer just stick anywhere, find a place outside of the garage, out of the rain. Keep your doors locked at all times, even when you are home. Just don't lock yourself out. If you have a neighbor you can trust, give him or her an extra key in case you do get locked out. All people that live in the house should never leave the house without a key. You do not want a bad person walking in on you or be at home waiting for you to arrive.

How about a security system that causes a chime to go off when the garage door opens?

I'd give anything to have this problem. I really miss my parents.

I just wanted to drop in again, hoping I didn't offend you. I didn't mean to make light of your issue with your dad. My dad would have knocked. I agree that you should get a doorbell.

I just wish my dad was around to complain about too. He died suddenly when I was in my early 20s. He used to fix my lawnmowers, etc.

I don't have any real good suggestions other than to tell you to relax and not let it bother you so much. It sounds like your parents are very involved with helping you with the house and your kids - so to make them feel like their not welcome in your house may come across the wrong way.

It sounds like he did knock, stuck his head in the door and dropped off the mail - but it wasn't like he was wandering around your house or drinking a beer watching the game on your couch when you came downstairs (does he do those things?)

If you were in the shower, would you want him locked out of your house? I'd install a doorbell - wherever it makes the most sense and just ask them to ring it when they come so that you don't think someone has broken in if you hear noises.

The thing that stands out in your story is the fact that you were in the house alone and decided to take a shower with the door unlocked. I don't care if everybody else does it ... it's not a good idea.

We had a serial killer in south Louisiana who walked into unlocked homes in nice, supposedly safe neighborhoods. At least 7 women paid with their lives.

Here is a link that might be useful: Derrick Todd Lee

Just to clarify - the garage doors and window were all closed and locked (deadbolts on side rails of utility door, knob and deadbolt on back door, and garage door openers on 2 larger doors). My parents have the combo to the keypad. I left the door from the garage into the house unlocked in case my mom brought DD home a little early while I was in the shower.

I suppose if I changed the combo, my dad would just use the key to the back door (he has keys for all our doors). And I wouldn't have heard the doorbell if I didn't hear him open the garage door, or hear him yell.

I told DH this is really starting to bug me (though my parents do a lot for us, I just feel we have no privacy). He asked "well, don't you just walk into their house?" The answer is NO - I will open their door if it's unlocked, I never just drop by (neither does my mom - it's my dad who comes and goes as he pleases), and except for that once, I always yell hello as I'm opening the door. The (in my mind) BIG difference is that I have never let myself into their house (after I graduated from college) with the exception of when they've gone on vacation and they have *asked* me to stop by and feed the fish, turn the hot water heater back on for them, etc.).

Sounds like you need to have a talk to the parents. New rules - no coming over without a phone call, you included. No dropping over without notice. It is just polite to call first.

No advice. I just find it interesting how different perceptions are from one person to another. I have given keys to very few people over the years. To me a key means having the freedom to enter anytime without announcement.

The only exception was my neighbor in a condo. We used the keys to provide care for each other's animals. Otherwise our agreement was that we did not enter unless we suspected an emergency. Even then, we tried to verify that no one was home and left I-was-here notes to explain the entry.

I spent some of my childhood in the part of the country where people kept loaded guns in the house and weren't the least bit hesitant about using them. As a result, to me, entering an unlock door seems like a dandy way to get shot!!

To me, a key is for an emergency. You should never let yourself into someone else's house without telling them you're on your way over and why. If my mom had even told me when I called to ask when she was bringing DD home that Dad wanted to work on the mower today, it would have been fine. Or even if she had called me before they left and said they were running late, she was going to drop him off and then take DD to library. At least I wouldn't have been surprised to find 2 of my garage doors open, the toolbox pulled out, and noises coming from behind the garage. And my dad could have asked if we had a 13/16 socket for the spark plug, I would have said I didn't know where it was if we did to he could have brought his own.

I know I should have called from the dentist's office to say I was on my way, but I didn't have my cell phone with me and my Dad knew approximately when I'd be there to pick up the kids b/c I'd talked to him that AM. Other than that, the only times I go to my parents house are when we've been invited - they're kind of out of the way, so even if they want to take DD for the night (or 2), they usually pick her up and bring her back, or meet me somewhere.

The garage door alarm is a good idea - we had a sensor installed on each of the power doors, but I think one fell off. As I recall, the receiver only had a light on it, too, not an audible alarm (which would be handy for when I'm in the shower, basement, attic where I can't hear the door open).

Maybe the problem is that I consider a locked garage to be a part of my house. I really don't mind my dad coming in to borrow tools, have a beer, whatever, if I'm not home. But I would like to know he was here afterward (and not figure it out b/c something's out of place). If I am home (and they knew I was waiting for DD), then a call ahead would be nice. *Then* if I don't come to the door (or have it open already) they can unlock the door and come in. But I need to get a doorbell on the front of the garage b/c my dad just uses the keypad to let himself in if the garage door isn't already open. He doesn't come to the front door b/c of the long walk, or use the back door (long walk around the garage too) even if he is working in the backyard. I don't like using the opener all the time - afraid we're putting too much wear on it but it's the most convenient for him.

The only solution I see is retraining. Alarms, doorbells, locks...aren't gonna stop the behavior. You are just going to have to set down the law and tell your Dad he HAS to let you know he's coming in. Maybe embarrass him in some way...the next time he comes in unannounced say "Oh, Dad, you surprised us. DH snuck home for a little afternoon delight!"

Ya never know...that might do it!

Yeah, that might do it. Unless DH's car isn't here - but I can always tell Dad that if I've been working, dirty, full of sawdust, or with messy stuff (like the foam insulation), I take off my pants and sometimes shirt in the laundry room and then walk upstairs to take a shower (of course I keep the blinds in the DR closed so no one can see as I'm walking up the stairs. Though we do have sidelights on the front door). I'm glad he didn't walk in on me yesterday! I'd better keep a robe in the broom closet!

It sounds like your Dad is over at your house quite a bit doing chores or whatever, it's not like he's coming over to visit and just letting himself in.

He probably just figures since he's coming over to work and not visit with you and it doesn't matter to him whether your home or not, he's forgetting its your house, not his.

I personally would just let it go - since he's your Dad and does so much for you, and he obviously likes coming over to your house which is a good thing. Take some comfort in the fact it's YOUR Dad and not your FIL. I think having my FIL piddling around my house all the time would bug me!!

But, if it really is bothering you, I would just ask him to let you know ahead of time he's coming over and about what time so you know when to expect him.

If you really want to be tough you can change the locks and garage door combo and I think he'll get the message.

To answer the question about the doorbell. My parents' house had front door, garage, and basement door bells. They all rang to a central location but each had a different ring.

I guess that's the thing - my dad has always liked to putter around here on the property (been in his family 96 years), and he helped build our house. His welder moved in before we did (b/c my cousin who bought the old farmhouse when my great-aunt passed just b4 we built had him move it out of their garage). Since he can't work down at the farm anymore since my cousin bought it, he works here. Even though my mom has projects she'd like him to do around their house. He sort of thinks of our house as his house (or at least our garage as his garage - though I made him move the welder to his own house - I want room for our stuff!). He thought we could use the lawn tractor, but it's more of a pain to get running each year. He also keeps other equipment on our back acreage and is always puttering around with that. Old habits die hard - he's been working on this land for over 60 years. I just would like some warning before he shows up and unlocks our garage and starts pulling stuff out (or comes in the house).

So either a phone call or a doorbell before he opens the 8ft garage door using the keypad would be nice (and if I could get him to walk around the back and use the key to get into the garage, even better - maybe the motor will last longer on the opener that way?).

I would definitely lock the mudroom door when you are alone in the house;
but how often does your dad come to your garage uninvited, once a week, twice a week ?

you mentioned wear and tear on your garage door opener twice,
is that really the issue? if the thing lasts 9 years instead of 10, not such a big deal, imo..... I think asking your dad to not use the garage door opener would be petty, sorry for saying so , but things are meant to be used.

I would definitely install the doorbell and ask your dad to use it so that you know he's there ; that would be as far as I would go, given the relationship you have with him.

Actually, DH doesn't like us to use the opener(s) unless we're pulling a car in or out - we have 3 cars, the third gets parked outside, and whenever we use that (oldest but best gas mileage) he has us use the back door of the garage and walk around to the side. He doesn't like us using it as the main door, esp. for things like going outside and working in the front yard (though our faucet is there rather than on front porch, so I have to open the door to water). I don't trust Ds with a key, so he knows the combo and if I've got the garage door closed when he gets home from school, he'll open it rather than going around, but if I've gone out and come back, I'll just leave it open for the rest of the day. I have noticed it's a bit noisier than the one that doesn't have the keypad - maybe we should reprogram it to give that other door some time? Maybe we need to grease the one that gets used all the time?

As far as notice, I'm going to think about mentioning a phone call first, hope my dad doesn't take it the wrong way, but DH and I came up with the solution this AM - a driveway alarm. That way I'd have notice of *anybody* coming down the driveway - we have a long driveway, can't see the road (and some people have decided since they can't see the house from the road, they'd drive or walk down to take a look).

A driveway alarm is the way to go. We've had one for many years, along with a locked gate (we also have a long driveway). Our alarm beeps loudly twice, then a woman's voice says "motion on driveway." We also had a chime on it, but have since deactivated the chime.

The advantage is that it's a "passive" alarm---nobody has to push a button or walk up to the door. The alarm goes off whenever it detects both motion and heat. So anyone coming down the driveway, whether in a car or on foot, will trigger the alarm. Nobody's "feelings" are hurt.

The disadvantage of a driveway alarm is that you may get some false alarms. Ours sometimes goes off on a very warm windy day, because it's activated by motion and heat. The trees nearby cross the path of the sensor and trigger it. We have to trim the branches every so often. And animals will set it off, too (cats, dogs, deer, whatever). If you have a lot of animals crossing your driveway, it may drive you crazy (and frighten you) if the alarm goes off during the night.

Of course, an alarm isn't going to change your father's behavior. If you don't want him dropping by without calling first, just say so.

I think the wildlife tend to stay in the back of the house - we have 97 acres and back up to neighbors with more, but driveway comes out on a cul de sac with 1 acre (or less) lots so houses are close together. A dog may cross the driveway, but I think you can get them less sensitive or set sensors up high enough to miss dogs, rabbits, etc.

A phone call would be nice, but really all I'm looking for is a few minutes warning that my dad (or anybody) is coming so I can get to a window and see who it is, meet them at the door, or run and hide (if it's solicitors or if I'm half dressed).

I think a driveway alarm is a perfect solution. Plus living out in the country like it sounds like you do, it would be a nice security measure.

As far as your garage door, you might need to WD40 the hinges or springs, but honestly, those things last a long time. Our house is 22 year old, we replaced the door opener about 10 years ago, so I'm guessing the first one lasted 12+ years. We have a double door which goes up 5-6 times a day with two cars in and out and whatever...So I guess we used the opener about 22,000 times before it wore out. They only cost a couple hundred dollars, so it's probably one of the best appliance investments you'll spend on your house!