Jannie, I don't know if I can give you any advice, but I hope I can share a little support. Antidepressants can be very effective, so I would definitely give that a try. Keep in mind that they often take a week or two to see a change, and sometimes (most times?) you may need to adjust dosages or even try a different antidepressant to maximize improvement with minimal side effects. Antidepressants also typically are best used with psychiatric "talk therapy" so it is wonderful you are trying to arrange that, despite the challenges. Maybe you could find a psychiatrist who would be willing to do sessions over the phone, or even a video link like Skype? There is also research showing the benefits of therapy animals - does DH like animals? Maybe you could find a therapy animal service willing to visit your home, or even just a friend with a gentle pet who would be willing to come over? Wishing you all the best ((((hugs for you and DH)))) Jaimie

Thanks, all. Mother moved to a double room today. This place is only 49 beds, and they had a male patient coming in, and asked, since the only other bed was a female double. The lady in the other bed is a cute 97 yr old very sharp lady named Jane. She's a bit loud, but at worst, it will give Mother something to complain about. Brothers John and Bobby showed up. Of course, they are leaving first thing tomorrow, so that is it. I left them alone with Mother as much as I could. They got to see her at her weakest and at her best, so they may have a good idea of how she is. They hung the "family wall" pictures. Of course that only bothered Mother because she thinks we have given up her nice apartment. I tell her that if she wants to move back to her apartment, she's got to get a lot stronger first. She is miserable to think that she has wound up in a nursing home. Maybe more motivation for getting out? My brothers were odd. Jim tells me to not let it get to me. Sigh. So John makes reservations and pays for two nights in a motel that I would not trust at high noon on a bright day, much less even spend the night. Borther says, well, I didn't know. IDIOT! You could have ASKED! I live here, I could have told him. They could have stayed in Mother's apartment at no charge (they did check out and move to the apt this afternoon). But no, I am the Wicked Witch of the West, and we don't even call to ask. Stupid Idiot. A least they came, and the look on Mother's face was wonderful. It meant all the world to her that they visited. My cousin Linda comes tomorrow. Today was a lot more of getting oriented. Paperwork. Meeting more nurses, more staff, seeing routines, etc. Poor Mother, she never wanted to be here. But we are doing our best to make it ok, and maybe motivation for her to get well. I am sooooo tired. AT the end of the day, brothers took DH and me out to dinner and we were all civil to one another. Thanks for all the support here.

I just started taking it 3 days ago. I am 61 and its for early signs of depression. 10 mg. per day. I have to say that when I experienced a few "different" things like a headache and tiredness....I am sure its from the new med. These are some of the side-effects listed on the internet. The quiver of the jaw if it was short lived in duration was probably just something normal. It also lists jitters and restlessness as one of the starting side effect. Check with the pharmacy and ask them for a sheet with the expectations of this medication and there is always the doctor if side effects are continous or upsetting.

Elegant1, your husband does sound like a jerk. An adult should never treat another adult the way he treated you. I don't want this to sound like I am taking his side. What he said was completely wrong. The next question is why might have he said this. I can see a side to what he said that I have felt (but knew better than to ever say out loud). From talking to my buddies...I bet more than one guy has felt that way at least once in a while. I recently checked out this forum after having marriage problems myself. I find it very interresting to see a different perspective to things. You ladies do look at things a whole lot different than a guy does. Communication seems to fail a lot of people (I am still trying to communicate with my wife). In your post, you stated that he never asks for it (sex). It is not always easy to "ask" for sex. It would be great if my wife made the first move once in a while. In the past (years ago) she would hint that having sex would be nice...and then it was up to me to take the ball from there. I am not sure it is true for every guy...but at least for me sex has two parts...and physical part and a mental part. I can "hand'le" the physical part much faster and easier than having sex. What makes it worth while is the mental part. If things become routine...or lack any excitement....it is just easier for me to deal with things myself. Don't get me wrong...things don't have to be a three ring circus every time. It is just nice to be suprised or not have sole responsibility to make things all wonderful. Elegant1, you are correct in saying you are empowered by this. he has communicated (very poorly) that he desires more out of your sex life as well. The trick is to use this information in a manner to get the romance you desire.