Randy, Amber may grumble (what kid doesn't?) but I believe deep in her soul she knows EXACTLY how lucky she is to have such a wonderful, caring dad involved in her life! Now that our 'little boy' is almost 23 years old and has begun his professional career, he is SO CLOSE to his dad. There had been that "I'm grown up and you can't tell me what to do or how to do it" clash on and off since DS became a teenager. Well, all that is behind them now. Since they both work for D-FW Airport (DH in police, DS in fire), they have many co-workers and friends in common, and are always discussing their retirement plans and investment opations. They are often involved in the same 'incidents' at the airport, with DH usually running the police command post, and son responding as either an EMT/First Responder or Firefighter. It is amazing to see them relate to one another as co-workers and buddies and not just as father and son. By the way, if anyone had told DS when he was a teenager that he would end up working for DH's employer and LOVING IT, he would have vehemently denied that such a thing would ever, ever occur. Now, sometimes he says to me...."It is amazing how much I am getting to be just like Dad." (And he says it with pride, too!) The closeness you and Amber share now will get you through the terrible teen years! I know, 'cause we've been there and done that! Dawn

"Actually, there are a number of people who kill their husbands and get out after a few years, especially if the husband was abusive. It's not self-defense if she shoots him while he is asleep. I think the original poster sounded too upset to be making it up, not to mention the fact that she provided a lot of details that she probably wouldn't have bothered with had the story been false." TOS, as the original poster provided so many details (but missing the critical ones like the VISITORS?LIST on the VISITORS?ALLOWED MODULE) I don't think she would have forgotten to mention how many years her SM was in Jail for murdering her first husband or if she was convicted or even put to trial for it...She would have relished telling it. Anyway, details are not a guarantee of truth: as any mother or kindergarten teacher knows, the more elaborate the story, the more blatant the lie.

This may not have anything to do with the "step" thing...my daughter just turned 14, and starting between 12-13, things just went crazy....we had an awful year (8th grade)...just unbelievable. She went from a pleasant, honor student that never ever got in any kind of trouble to an absolute mess....bad grades, getting in trouble in school, "cutting" her wrists, and just showing complete and total lack of respect for me and her mother (we have 50-50 custody). Despite our divorce, which was amicable, she's had a very good upbringing...two parents who are loving and supportive...we had no idea where all this came from. Fortunately she's been in therapy for about a year now, and I think just getting out of 8th grade (middle school) and moving on to high school has helped, because things have been a lot better the last 6 months or so. Not perfect, she still has lots of anxiety and self-esteem issues, but the bahavior has improved a lot...so I am hopeful. The others are right, your husband needs to back off a bit...and you two need to establish and agreed upon set of things that are acceptable and things that are not...and when she does something that is not, he should tell you and you decide what to do about it, she is your child to discipline, not his. And no matter what she has done, for him to not give her positive reinforcement if she is making efforts to improve, that is JUST AWFUL...you need to get all over him about this...kids, especially girls, at this age need GOBS of positive reinforcement! He is causing her lots of harm by doing this....

Hey, I dont even charge admission. I just found you do all you can for people you dont always get appreciated for it. Like yesterday I went to the grocery store ,I was so tired didnt feel well but thought I have to,hubbys going hunting each takes a dish,wouldnt want the men to starveor anything now.So I went,this man parked his cart on sidewalk was walking to his car.It rolled off and a whole case of cranberryu sauce fell off cans everywhere.He came back,a few people looked but no one offered to help.I did in fact he liked it I picked 99% of them up myself.All he said was these were for food bank,no thank you no nothing.he didnt even acknowledge I helped.geeze..I said have a nice holiday.but the man that gets the carts,when I came out he said you get in the car Ill put these in the back.Imagine.He saw me helping the man,I guess in the rain.Decided to help me.I couldnt believe it. Ive noticed lately a few times a man left a door shut on me ,I was in grocery store heading to a check out a man cut infront of me then looked like 'What'another time in store a man was comming to corner of isle I was too same time,he looks at me then cuts in front only to go around the corner and stop blocks isle uugghh sorry Im venting..