Where's this rudeness coming from from new mommy daughter in law?
lincraw
21 years ago
Featured Answer
Comments (40)
lincraw
21 years agolast modified: 9 years agoRelated Discussions
Noise from neighbors below, landlord being rude
Comments (21)Glad I found this site as I'm having issues with my downstairs neighbors. I moved into my apartment two years ago. It's the second floor apartment in an older house. The other apartment is on the first floor. The couple that live there are in their early 70's but the guy thinks he's still in his twenties. He spends all his free time working on his truck or washing it. Now I have no problem with someone taking care of their vehicle but what I do have is someone having no respect for someone else's property. This guy washes his and his wife's trucks EVERY day. I'm not kidding. When I'm not home, he'll park his truck in my spot and wash it so when I get home, my space is full of puddles that I have to walk through. If I am home, he pulls his truck up right along side mine and as he's hosing down his vehicle, the water is spraying all over mine. The sun dries the water spots and they're hard to remove, especially on the windshield. He also parks his truck so that the hitch ball hangs over onto my parking spot which is directly behind his. He has plenty of room to pull up and not be so close to my spot. It's hard enough squeezing into my space because there is a tree behind it and a wall along one side (part of a building). The second issue I have is that he plays 60's music 24/7. I have gotten up at 2 or 3 in the morning to use the bathroom and the music is playing. It's loud enough that I can name every song and sometimes he turns it up loud enough that my coffee table vibrates. Asking him to lower it does no good because another neighbor told me that the guy that lived in my apartment before me went downstairs and knocked on the neighbor's door to ask him to lower the music. The neighbor wouldn't answer so he asked him from outside the door. When that didn't work, he went back downstairs and knocked again. This time, the neighbor opened the door, swore at him, and punched him in the face. In fact, the neighbor told me this himself. It was like he was giving me a warning not to complain about his music. My landlord is completely useless; he knows he plays the music and he can see him washing his car every day (the landlord has a business on the first floor opposite the neighbor's apt). I'm a single girl living alone and I don't like confrontation, especially since this guy has a chip a mile long on his shoulder and is always ready for a fight. I have been living with it for two years and telling myself that maybe he doesn't realize he's spraying my car or that he's parking with part of his hitch in my spot (though he can easily see it when he sits on his deck every night) but it upsets me anyway. This past week I bought a new SUV. I went out early yesterday figuring he'll wash his truck while I'm gone. I got home and parked my car and a half hour later he came out and started washing his right next to mine and sprayed my new SUV all over except for the driver's side. I was furious. The only thing I can do to get some satisfaction is to wait until he washes his car and then go outside and wash mine next to his so that his vehicle will be sprayed. Then if he comes out and says something, I can explain that the same thing happens to my car when he washes his truck. If that doesn't work, then I have more vengeful ideas though he wouldn't know they came from me....See MoreHow to handle a very rude mother in law?
Comments (22)luvstocraft has written an excellent post, IMO. I agree with her completly. I'd also like to add something for you to consider. I unexpectedly lost my own Mom was I was 19. She was my best friend. Painful loss. When I married, I was overjoyed to have a Mom's presence again. Not that MIL would/could replace my own mother but she was there for me when I had questions or just needed to talk. We developed a strong, loving relationship. In time, I called her, "Mom". I'm certain my real Mom watched my relationship with MIL bloom with pleasure. She would not have wanted it to be strained in any way. My MIL was not a perfect woman. Neither am I. She cooked different than my mother. She raised her children different than I was raised. Her accent was different. Her mannerisms were different. But, her love was the same...I've no doubts it was genuine & came from her heart. MIL often told me that she worried raising her two sons that, someday, she would have bad relationships with her DILs...and how happy she was that I accepted her. Her worst fear of her son's marrying was rejection. She was afraid that her importance in her son's life would be reduced to an obligatory phone call on Mother's Day. She was afraid her son would spend all of the Holidays with his wife's family because she'd taught him to honor his wife. She'd raised her son to be independant & strong. That left her afraid he would no longer need her in his life. When the grandkids came, she was afraid her DIL would always turn to her own mother & there would be no place for her in the grandkids' lives. We lost MIL 3 years ago come the end of June. We lost FIL January '08. I miss them both terribly. I believe our relationships are what we make of them. I became the daughter my MIL never had. She became the mother I lost. It worked because we both put forth great effort to bridge the differences. We talked together, we argued with each other & then apologized for harsh words, we cried together over silly girl-stuff, we disagreed & then agreed it was OK that we viewed something different than the other. Someday, your MIL will be gone. You will either view her as a valued & cherished member of your family or you will be bitter & angry at your differences. The choice is really up to you. The ball is in your court to either allow her a place in your family & heart, or not. Like it or not...woman are the glue that sticks families together. There's an old New England custom...summer homes are popular here (they're called "camps"). When the patriarch/matriarch of the family passes...the "camp" is often willed to the wife of the oldest son. Yes, the property goes to the wife. Why? Because it is respected that women will hold the family together & even through difficult times the summer house will be filled with family laughter making good memories. You are the glue between your DH's family & your own. You can embrace that responsibility & honor it...or you can reject it. We reap what we sow. The next time you see your MIL...greet her with a genuine from the heart big hug & a smile, tell her how glad you are to see her looking well & that the kids can spend some time with their grammy. Then, look in her eyes. Look hard. Watch them soften. Someday, you may find yourself in the role of MIL. Be a good example to your kids. Sorry, I don't mean to sound harsh. I'm getting old & I've lost a lot of family. Don't wait until they're gone to appreciate them. /tricia...See MorePregnant Daughter-in-law
Comments (13)The kids have lots of friends. Nadine is a 4th grade school teacher and many want to come and help. They have even gone so far as to say they will set up a schedule. Our grandaughter is a wonderful little girl and so easy to keep. She loves to go to the barn with papaw. Keeping her will be the easy part.. It's the time that wil be spent on the road that is hard. But we know it is only for a few weeks and we will be more then happy to do all of it. Our other 2 kids and their families are good to help with Rachael and fixing food and such. We have a very wondeful close family. Our oldest daughter is also going to have a baby the middle of April. The kids have everything already set up for when they bring the babies home. Rachael got a new room and it is finished. Dad works for himself so his days are flexable. This is a great help. You should see the new hospital rooms now. Moms area is huge and they have a separate area for the dads to stay. It has a pull out bed, small frig, microwave and a flat screen tv hanging on the wall. A desk at the other end with computer hookup. Actually our son can work from there. There is also a separate room for the babies. Then the bathrooms are nothing but fabulous. Huge and looks like it came out of a magazine. I know everything will be ok, it is just going to take some time. One thing is I feel bad for our daughter-in-law because she really misses her Mom during this time. Her mom died unexpectedly 2 months after Rachael was born. They were several states away and it was a big ordeal getting her back here. I have tried to always be here for our daughter-in-law. She is a wonderful gal and terrific mom. Grandpa and I work well together on all of this . We each do our part.. We wouldn't have it any other way. We love our children.. Susie...See MoreBlast from the past - 2000 'Get to know each other' thread
Comments (3)Wow....what an amazing list of people.... too many of them no longer with us or active here. It is nice to remember some of their names and their struggles that we shared. Thanks for the memories....See Moreaileen
21 years agolast modified: 9 years agolincraw
21 years agolast modified: 9 years agoblueheron
21 years agolast modified: 9 years agotrekaren
21 years agolast modified: 9 years agolindac
21 years agolast modified: 9 years agolincraw
21 years agolast modified: 9 years agoaileen
21 years agolast modified: 9 years agoRave
21 years agolast modified: 9 years agoMaryF
21 years agolast modified: 9 years agonadastimer
21 years agolast modified: 9 years agoGramma_Connie
21 years agolast modified: 9 years agolincraw
21 years agolast modified: 9 years agotrekaren
21 years agolast modified: 9 years agonadastimer
21 years agolast modified: 9 years agosarah_socal
21 years agolast modified: 9 years agotlescak
21 years agolast modified: 9 years agomichenyc
12 years agolast modified: 9 years agosusanjn
12 years agolast modified: 9 years agowhoopitup
12 years agolast modified: 9 years agoAbusedByDIL
12 years agolast modified: 9 years agonotgg
11 years agolast modified: 9 years agowoodnutrition
8 years agocolleenoz
8 years agosushipup1
8 years agowoodnutrition
8 years agolast modified: 8 years agosushipup1
8 years agowoodnutrition
8 years agoUser
8 years agowoodnutrition
8 years agoJudy Martin
8 years agowoodnutrition
8 years agocrackermoo
7 years agocrackermoo
7 years agoamy_kats13
7 years agolast modified: 7 years agojudy_s2245
6 years agojudy_s2245
6 years agocolleenoz
6 years agocacocobird
6 years ago
Related Stories
STUDIOS AND WORKSHOPSStudio Tour: A Sunny Space Where Ceramic Creations Come to Life
Tour a dynamic and organized Brisbane, Australia, home studio
Full StoryMOVINGMaking a Home Away From Home
Feeling like a stranger in a strange land? These tips can help ease the transition after a big move
Full StoryDECORATING GUIDES10 Design Tips Learned From the Worst Advice Ever
If these Houzzers’ tales don’t bolster the courage of your design convictions, nothing will
Full StoryKIDS’ SPACESRoom of the Day: From Dark Walk-in Closet to Bright and Warm Nursery
A mix of vintage and new decor creates a stylish nursery that will grow with a baby boy
Full StoryFRANK LLOYD WRIGHTStep Inside a Frank Lloyd Wright House Saved From Demolition
The historic Phoenix property is now part of the architect’s school at Taliesin, where it will be used as a design lab
Full StoryPRODUCT PICKSGuest Picks: 20 Decor Pieces for That First Home Away From Home
Gather ideas now for a comfy and stylish dorm room in the fall — or try these finds in a new grad's first solo digs
Full StoryFARM YOUR YARDCollecting Rainwater and Eggs From a California Chicken Coop
See how a butterfly roof helps a hen home’s design soar into double-duty territory
Full StoryKITCHEN DESIGNStandouts From the 2014 Kitchen & Bath Industry Show
Check out the latest and greatest in sinks, ovens, countertop materials and more
Full StoryDECORATING GUIDESWorld of Design: Decorating Ideas From 10 Renters Around the Globe
Even if you don’t own your home, you can live beautifully. Browse these ideas from international tenants who’ve made their spaces special
Full StoryMOST POPULAR15 Remodeling ‘Uh-Oh’ Moments to Learn From
The road to successful design is paved with disaster stories. What’s yours?
Full StorySponsored
aileen