Do you know what kind of flowers you carried, or she carried, for the wedding? If you don't know, can you get some pix from that day and figure it out, or have a florist help? I think it would be nice to arrange to have a floral arrangement of those flowers delivered to the restaurant for use on the table, then for them to take home. Sign the card "With golden memories of your wedding day. Your flower girl (your name)".

If you don't feel right about having them delivered to the party, then have them sent to their home, or delivered to you to bring with you.

What a clever thoughtful idea Les.

I don't even remember the exact kind of flowers I carried at my own wedding! That's what photos are for I guess!

If that doesn't work, I think a nice card with a bottle of champagne or wine would be fine. If they have a favorite restaurant they like to go to, a gift certificate there would be nice.

I'm sure they'll just be happy you came and shared the evening with them. I think as we age, our desire and expectation for gifts tends to fade as we realize material things are not all that important!

Our linen closet is full of "stuff" that Hubby's parents were gifted for their 50th anniversary party. I believe they went direct from the party to the closet and have never seen the light of day. I am planning to "raid" it if/when we get our formal DR set up but that's another story. For their culture/group/society the big showy party was a must.

My parents are of the "simple living" sort. For their 50th Sister got a week's timeshare on the beach and we all gathered there. Their "party" was a BBQ on the deck beach-side. Our gifts were our presence and love and that's all they wanted. (In fact, they specifically forbade gifts.)

So point being, these people sound more like my parents than Hubby's (and even in Hubby's parents case the gifts were useless). The flower idea sounds lovely. I'd have them delivered to their home. Other than that, perhaps something that gives them the gift of a special time with their loved ones (logistics / budget permitting of course).

Great ideas, everyone! Pbrisjar, they wanted to have a BBQ at home too. Now they think it is at their daughter's house. She thinks they will freak out at the cost and they do not intend to tell them. She is letting them think that until a couple days before. They are not fancy, have buried both sets of parents and have more than they need. She's always trying to give stuff away (nieces, nephews, kids, etc.) She is my mother's daughter - "everything should be put to good use."

They have a modest home in Mexico and modest home here. When they aren't in Mexico or here, they live on a boat in Canada. They would think flowers were a big waste of money. LOL! A cake may be nice because we all could enjoy but I'm hesitant to ask the restaurant to serve the cake. It's the kids' party and I don't want to seem like I'm taking over, YKWIM? If it was going to be at someone's house, I'd do a cake in a heartbeat. Great idea.

As for this couple, they still drive the Toyota they bought (used) when the kids were young (it's immaculate). You could say they live life to the fullest, between their camper and boat, and two *very* modest homes. My sister cuts her hair every three months, so when she cuts it, she cuts it very, very short. :+"

My sister thinks my house is fancy and it's always a work in progress. LOL!

So how about contacting the kids (the ones throwing the party) and asking them if there's anything you can contribute?

As far as the restaurant is concerned, they're (generally) used to big fancy "do's" bringing their own cakes.

What clever ideas!
I bet the kids would be thrilled with the cake idea, and would happily let you do that.
And pbrisjar's probably very correct about the restaurant being used to people bringing in cakes. When I got married (2nd time, TINY wedding with only about 12 guests) the restaurant was shocked when I asked if they had any nice cakes that would suit. (They DID - an absolutely scrumptious amaretto hazlenut torte...)

OK, I'll make the call. Cake it will be. I'll offer it up to the kid 'in charge' and see what she says. I need to know how many are coming...

Thanks everyone! I had no idea you could bring your own cake out to dinner with you. LOL! That's great. A mini version of their tiered wedding cake!