I am a merchant who accepts credit cards. On this end it's pretty cut and dry. I get a notice of a chargeback and I must produce my copy of the credit card receipt with their signature on it. It must be either imprinted or through a terminal. With online sales I must produce the hard copy of the order. I have 5 business days to either send or fax my copy proving the charge, or the money is automatically deducted from my bank. Plus a $25 fee. I get chargebacks because I'm an artist who does art and craft fairs throughout the northeast and there are times people in say, New Jersey see a charge from a company they never heard of in Vermont. "I've never been to Vermont!" So they challenge. I produce the receipt and a note they made a purchase at such and such craft fair, and it's done. Go to your credit Union in person and talk to someone who can actually help you. Have someone with some authority help you. You're finding out phone tag doesn't work. Go up the chain of command at the CU to get things done. You have 24 months from the date of the alleged charge to challenge it. The merchant has 5 business days to answer.

Everything I've seen/heard about this is not to cancel credit cards. Cancelling them does affect your credit scores. That said, at one point I had 3 separate credit cards issued by the same bank. I use only one and pay the balance in full every month. I have received letters from the bank requesting that I either use the cards or said cards would be cancelled effective 30 days of the receipt of said letter. I didn't use them, and those accounts have been cancelled. DH hates credit cards and prefers to pay cash for purchases. I did check with the 3 credit bureaus regarding whether the cancellation by the bank for lack of use of those two cards would affect our credit scores. All three claimed that it would not, and I did manage to obtain fax confirmation of that assurance. I did pull reports at 90 days after their cancellation, and our scores hadn't changed. Unless the card company contacts you about cancelling for lack of use, I wouldn't cancel.

I can definitely relate to how you're feeling. Yes, I have been in counseling for step-family issues and need to get back in it on a regular basis. i'm having lots of issues/feelings right now and can empathize with you. " Of course, I'm p1ssed that DH is sitting on his butt while I do everything and sometimes find myself mad at SS for that. Then I have to stop, and redirect it where it should be - aimed right at DH's lazy butt, LOL!" Ceph said this really well. A lot of times I get irritated with BM or SS but then I have to remind myself---we can't control what BM does or doesn't do, but DH CAN control how HE handles it. For example, tonight, SS came over with 4 pages of homework: 2 from last night that BM had not bothered to do with him and then 2 for tonight. Well, DH had to work until 8:30 tonight so guess who had to help SS with his homework? Homework time is a struggle for my SS. He gets really frustrated and angry and will throw his pencil down, crumple the papers, storm out of the room, etc. He struggles academically so what takes an average 7 year old 5 minutes to do takes him 10. We labored and fought over his homework for over an hour tonight. All the while, I was getting frustrated and thinking "If BM had just done with him the 2 papers he was supposed to do LAST NIGHT, that would make MY job tonight a heck of a lot easier!" And then I found myself getting frustrated and irritable with SS. But it's not really his fault that BM didn't do it with him last night, and it's also not his fault that my DH is working so much and I'm the "parent" in charge most of the time here. SIGH. It's a learning process, I think! At least you recognize your feelings---acknowledging them is the first step!

"From what I understand, parents who have joint custody need to agree on children's medical treatment, including psychology. Is this correct?" Sometimes, but not always. Frequently the agreement is worded so that either parent has the right to consent to whatever medical treatment he/she deems necessary and appropriate. "And for that matter we really don't see a need for SS8 to continue to see the therapist. They are both very happy and well adjusted boys." I have no trouble believing that. You probably DO see two happy and well-adjusted little boys. But please also consider the possibility that this is NOT what BioMom genuinely sees during the time they're with her. I say this because I have been in exactly the same position BioMom is in, where I thought counseling was needed and BioDad and StepMom didn't. I had DS for 90% of the time when he had homework to do, laundry and chores. I saw the difficulties he had focusing on his homework, the struggles to read. Daddy had him one evening and every other weekend, and they did not spend that time doing anything that made DS unhappy. (Like homework or reading.) If DS wanted something on Dad's time, Daddy ran out and got it for him -- So guess what? DS was never unhappy at Dad's house. At age 13, DS went to live with Dad and our custody/visitation time reversed. And guess what? Then I only saw the happy kid and Dad and StepMom finally saw the kid who had learning and attention difficulties. (Maybe I should have agreed to a change in custody early on so DS could have gotten the help they insisted he didn't need...) The irony... "we are beginning to think the psychologist is not a neutral third party with the children's best interests in mind. We would like to put a stop to the children seeing her." Not hard to see why you would come to this conclusion. And in fact, she might not be impartial, because she has only heard one side of the story. But I do find it hard to believe that she doesn't have the children's' best interests at heart. She just may have a biased view of what those 'best interests' are. Of course, you and Dad also have a biased view... Rather than seeking to terminate the therapy (which wouldn't be hard to twist against you), what about horning in on taking an active role in the therapy? In other words, what if DH were to call the therapist to express his concern that whatever issues the children are having, couldn't they be better handled if both households were on board? He could legitimately express the concern that she is only hearing one side of the story, and that the children seem to have been instructed not to tell him anything -- which has him concerned. That surely if she is going to work in the children's best interests, that she will want to hear a balanced account and a perspective from the other parent... That the parents, if working together with an independent expert, might be able to better help their children?... Just some thoughts from another angle...