I wouldn't actually try to match features of the house. He's young and you want this bed to work in any house. I went for a darker wood, not totally black, not light, pretty non period specific and I did do a trundle. I know some day he will have friends over, and his room isn't huge, nor did I want bunks because they would block too much of his wall space (we have murals on the wall). I really like the option we went with, which I think is fairly transitional to any age or decorating style. This is a terrible picture (of both him and the bed) but the best I could find...I think it's similar to a few in the link you provided. The trundle is actually not quite in the pic, but the bedding on it is the white line on the right of the pic (as you're facing it). It slides out quite easily. We actually used it for toys for quite a while as we were getting settled in the new place, but added the trundle finally when we were finished. At 7 you probably need the trundle now :) I wanted something that would work in the theme of this room (1930's safari tent) but also work with his antiques in the future (he has a chest and this amoire next to the bed). Trying to match finishes on wood makes me crazy and to me is too matchy matchy...so I liked this one because it was dark, but not painted dark, and yet not light (I hate blonde wood myself...but that's just me). This bed is pottery barn I think.

Help I have the same problem but it's EVERY weekend and it's MY house and MY bed. at first it was just saturday night but now his ex has taken to last minute asking my fiance to take his 8 year old daughter on friday night's. the first night she asked to sleep with us he got mad, he was still enjoying our cuddle time. i felt bad cause our relationship was so new i told him she was scared and it was ok. WHAT A MISTAKE! it hasn't stopped since, 3 months. he doesn't even try to put her in her own bed. if i do stay in the bed i usually end up on the couch. the other night i went to sleep in her bed but could not fall asleep. i thought screw this, that is my bed. they were both asleep but i pushed myself in next to him. i don't know what to make of it. i can't think she's afraid. it's a small house her room is literally 10 feet down the hall. we leave a light on in her room, the bathroom light on and both bedroom doors wide open. i've talked to him about this twice and my plan was to just go sleep somewhere else but now i'm thinking he can sleep with her in the little twin bed or if he can't be man enough to stand up to her and lets her come to our bed he can sleep in the middle so i can still be close to him. she does this whenever we are together. if we are sitting on the couch she insists on sitting between us. when we took her to the movies she let us know well in advance she was sitting in the middle. i hate to sound like a spoiled child. i just don't know what i am doing. i never dated a man with an ex wife let alone children so all this is new to me. he doesn't have these things to deal with as my children are grown. i think it is even harder for me because when my son was the same age i had moved in with a man and he was still dealing with his father's and my divorce. he would come to our bed almost every night. my boyfriend at the time would get very angry. i worked really hard to get my son to sleep in his bed through the night even as it broke my heart.of course i wanted to comfort him and make him feel safe. i feel like i am in a terrible position

I find this so strange, children that can't get up and get dressed themselves. My oldest daughter has been getting up on her own, getting dressed, eating breakfast, checking the calendar to see if she wants to pack or buy that day, and then making her own lunch since first grade. I do help her pick her clothes out the night before because she'll wear the same couple of outfits all the time if I don't encourage her to mix it up a little, and I check her lunch to make sure it's not just cookies and chips because she has tried to do that a couple of times...but she NEVER remembers to brush her teeth without being told...I think she's doing well enough that I can let that one slide for now. My SD will get up and gets dressed and eats, but if her head wasn't screwed on, she'd leave it behind when she left. We're talking, "Do you got your backpack? Did you put your homework in it? Do you have your gym clothes? Got your lunch?" We'll have her pack everything up the night before and put it right next to the door, but inevitably she always leaves somthing sitting right there by the door when she leaves...but we NEVER have to remind her to brush her teeth or wash her hands. She's seriously into the cleanliness thing when it comes to her body, so that's good. Oh, and I think she probably could pack her own lunch, but DH does it for her because he knows her mom does and that's what she's used to. My 4yo WANTS to do it all herself, even the stuff I don't want her to do, like pour milk into her cereal from a full gallon. She picks out her own clothes and dresses herself, but I have to tell her to go get dressed or she'll stay in jammies all day, but that's okay because I like to do that sometimes too:) She insists she can bathe herself, which she can, but she also thinks she can wash her own hair, which she can if you like to still have a bunch of soap in it when you're done. And she absolutely hates it when I brush her teeth for her, but I just don't think she's physically capable of doing it to my satisfaction yet. They're all different, so you can't treat them the same. Just got to go one step at a time with each one of them.

Hi Vesters. So many things you wrote struck a chord with me as we experienced the same issues with my SD, who is now 14. We've had custody of her since she was 5, after gaining emergency and then full custody though a very nasty battle. After DH and his ex divorced SM moved SD hours away. SD began sleeping in her bed, showering with her, being completely dependent on her mom. BM thrived on this - it made her feel needed and important. SD couldn't (or wouldn't) do or try anything on her own. SD became BM's 'bff' and confidant - all at the mature age of 3. This continued until BM found a boyfriend, and then SD was kicked into her own bed in her own room on a different floor and told to go to sleep. Once that relationship ended SD was needed again and back in BM's bed, all the while hearing about BM's relationship woes. Fast forward a few years. We have custody, SD sees her mom EOW. She's still trying to have SD sleep with her (between boyfriends) and be dependent on her. The 'bff' behavior is worsening and we're hearing all about BM's love life from SD. SD is getting stomach aches right before visitations and worrying about how to take care of her mom. All so appropriate for a mother/daughter relationship. And then there was. . . "BM also used to say things to SD (right after I came on the scene) like, "I'd never let a man come between us" and "You're the only one I need" which sounds innocent enough, but it was very much meant as a "look at your father, moving on with his life, I'll never let that happen to us." I could have written that. BM is always saying this. . . in between the men in her life. But what SD figured out about 2 years ago is that her mom is full of sh@t. She started to see all these behaviors factored around her mom and what her mom needed on her mom's schedule. She was blinded by the 'my mom needs me' and 'my mom loves me best' until then, but with the help of her counselor and a little maturity she started to figure it out. I won't say she doesn't fall back into buying her mom's crud every now and again, but for the main part she can she the behavior for who it is really about - mom, not SD. I tell you all this so you know you are not alone, and also to give you hope. Your SD needs help, and she needs her dad to help her receive it, but she can recover from this. I will tell you one thing SD's counselor shared with us that was helpful for SD and for our tongues as we weren't biting them so hard. When you say "I'm always a little uncomfortable when she talks so openly about her BM with me (because I know the "real deal"), yet I'm always very careful to make sure I speak loving and positively about her ." you need to stop. This doesn't mean speak negatively, but you don't have to put a good spin on bad actions. Don't try to make mom's bad action ok. Don't make excuses for her. Listen to SD, let her know you understand why she would be upset, help her with generalized, non leading questions discover why she's upset, but don't then tell her it's all ok and mommy knows best. Later, when she figures out mommy doesn't, you will be seen as a liar. It's ok to say sometimes mommy's get confused, or mommy's make mistakes. This is likely better pronounced by DH at first, but you need to know that you don't have to be positive. Just don't be negative, if you get what I mean. :-) Good luck. Keep us updated, and keep your chin up. You are doing the right thing.