I don't think kids expect kids to bring gifts. Especially since they mostly want money - the kids would just be exchanging their money. Kids just like to see each other socially at their respective parties, that has been our experience anyway. However, if an adult is invited specifically on an invitation, then a gift is expected.

I think if the party is thrown for a specific graduate then a gift would be nice (like Mom and Dad throwing a party for son or daughter where grandparents and aunts and uncles are included).

But if the party is thrown for a bunch of graduates, then a gift is not required...unless someone wants to be nice and bring a hostess gift...I'm sure there are Moms who would appreciate it.

I can only speak from my own experience. My oldest son graduated 3 years ago and we sent actual invitations to the adult/family friend guests, and he verbally invited his own friends. (Not sure if that makes a difference in gift giving!) He received gifts from the people we invited, but his friends (who mostly graduated with him, but some were older or younger) didn't bring gifts, and we didn't expect them to.

i agree that when kids go to grad parties by themselves and parents weren't invited, gift is not necessary...

what do you all think about these 'combined' graduation parties which seem to be becoming more popular?? when 3 or 4 kids' parents combine to have a party and parents are invited as well as their kids and we parents really only know one or 2 of the kid guests of honor-- is it appropriate to only bring 1 or 2 gifts for the kid/s you know?

"Should he be bringing a gift to these parties?"
No.

People really throw combined graduation parties? Hmm...interesting. My first reaction is to take gifts just for the kids you know. It was their choice to throw a combo party. I really find that whole thing strange! It makes me wonder if they're hoping for extra gifts.

I think combined parties are smart and convenient - so many friends graduating and only so many weekends available. I don't think you are expected to give gifts to all the kids involved. I'd give to the kid I was specifically there to congratulate. I guess if you know all the kids and would have attended individual parties with gifts then gift them all.

I haven't been to a HS graduation party recently but for neighbor kids and other non-relatives, I used to give a roll of quarters wrapped in the label off a box of laundry detergent. I was an inexpensive ($10) gift and, in theory, the quarters were useful for doing laundry at college.

I would think that with a combined party, if the grad is a relative like a niece or nephew where a gift is appropriate, it should be given privately and not at the party...either before the party, or leave it with the parents for them to give later. I think it would be odd to have 4 or 5 grads at a party and have one get gifts and the others not...

I think girls get each other gifts, but only when they are really "besties". I don't think they boys get each other gifts in any circumstance. Regarding group parties... we did that for my son, and plan to do it for DD. It is absolutely assumed that gifts only go between giver/recipients who are close.

Thanks so much, everyone! I just wanted to make sure. Busybee - I've never heard of a combined party. I guess I am okay with it - it would make it easier for the kids - rather than running from one party to another. But only if the kids don't expect gifts from everyone attending. I would definitely only bring a gift for my graduate friend and I wouldn't worry about doing that at all. I don't think they could possibly be expecting gifts from the other kids' friends.

The wording "gift expected" really strikes me as UGLY. We gave our two (one left) who graduated parties to celebrate them--not to collect gifts. Yes it is wonderful when people feel inspired to give something but "expected" NEVER; not at my home anyway. Sadly I understand I am in the minority and that has always made the invitation list difficult. We invited people who were there at important junctures in their 18 years, and some of those were so long ago..well expecting a gift is just not what it is about. Thanking them for their part in raising up this child was the point...we were celebrating together. It is so sad how America has lost focus on what is important!! Around here group parties are becoming more and more common. The belief is 90% of those attending would attend both separate parties if they were held, so why not combine!! In the rare case where an invited guest only knows one of the students WHY would you feel obligated to give a card or gift?? That makes no sense!! Don't sign their book and they won't even know you were there!!! Graduates/friends attempt to hit all the parties, because they want everyone to come to theirs. The gift they bring or not is usually reflected in how close they are to the guest of honor. It should be about what your son WANTS to give and what he/you can afford. Not what is "expected"!!!

I never used the word "expected" though. All of these kids are good friends of his. He is certainly not trying to make an appearance at all of them so they will come to his party -- he isn't having a party! He is trying to spend some time at each party because they are all his friends and he wants to try to go to each of them, even if just for an hour or so.

thanks all... it just feels abit awkward bringing checks for some but not all because i do 'know' all the kids, but don't have the history with a couple or know the parents as well, etc---in other words, i would not have been invited to each of their individual parties, but i do know them/they know me... i am also considering just giving less to each of them since it is a combined party and calling it a day.... probably won't decide for sure until the day! lol

i like the concept of the combined party--- it keeps costs down and frees up the calendar for the kids and the guests and fills out the party when the graduates' families all live out of town or when the kids aren't huge social butterflies.
i have attended this type of party before but only when they were cousins and i truly had never met the other child/parents before and it made my decision to give to only one simple!