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shannon01_gw

How do you all feel about 'Boobie Love'?

Shannon01
13 years ago

So another interesting topic.

My dd's best guy buddy wore a pink bracelet to school to support my dd. His oldest bro had lung cancer when he was only 15 so he has a cancer link of his own too. Well, someone at school looked at it and sent him to office because it said something like "I Love Boobies, find the cure". He was told not to wear it and could get it after school. He also told me he wore it for me.

Well, we went to Walmart this weekend and there were some ladies with a booth out front. They were selling pink items and along with them was a shirt that said "Support Boobie Love". The ladies had teenage sons who had the shirts on. They said they planned to wear them the last day of school because they knew they would get detention any other day. A customer approached and said that she recently read a media story about some school where kids were told to turn their Breast Cancer Awareness bracelets backwards so the words would not show. They did not have Boobie on them at all. Then apparently prior to my walking by a mom with three young girls came to them and told them they are disgusting and should shut down the booth.

Personally, at first when I learned of the phrase I though the kids are just making fun of the issue. But when neighbor boy told me that he could relate more to the Boobie word than to Breast Cancer, I kinda changed my mind. I think it makes it more real to them than the scientific term of Breast Cancer. Like BC is just something for old people. Using the B word at least makes kids listen and it starts conversations with their moms and such.

My dd wants to wear a B shirt to school. I think there are two teachers that have or had BC recently. She wants to challenge the administration by wearing it. She says if she gets called in she is going to tell them "so what if this was your wife or mother?" "How dare you lessen the fact that I support my mom."

I decided to not let her get the shirt. I don't want to be someone's issue right now. But I do appreciate her intentions and love for me. She did a huge ribbon and the word Love on her ankle last week in henna. I think I need to remind her to not put the B word on herself in henna because they might make her cover it up. Another reminder to her that I am on top of things. But yeah, need to make sure she doesn't do that right now. She can for summer but not school.

So what do you all think? I like that we can stir the pot and not get too emotional and without stepping on any toes.

Comments (60)

  • Shannon01
    Original Author
    13 years ago
    last modified: 9 years ago

    Work in progress- yes, that is why I had to think about this a bit to make sure I keep her on track with everything, even this. I did not immediatly say no, needed to digest the idea and that is why I decided to not let her do this. Which is why I need to talk to her about using the B work on any henna tatoos.

    Cooters- I am laughing so hard it hurts.

    Mona- you bring up a very good point.

    I think many of you have used some great words I was looking for in trying to determine how I felt about all of this. This is the age we are living in and although some people have good intentions I do agree that we don't always need to be shocked.

    Can you believe when I was 12, in 6th grade, my mom bought me a shirt. It was a roadsign. It said "Slippery When Wet"? My mom about slapped my brother when he mentioned that my Hollie Hobbie smock top made me look pregnant when I was about 8 and he 12. And she bought me that shirt!!!

  • terezosa / terriks
    13 years ago
    last modified: 9 years ago

    It was a roadsign. It said "Slippery When Wet"? My mom about slapped my brother when he mentioned that my Hollie Hobbie smock top made me look pregnant when I was about 8 and he 12. And she bought me that shirt!!!

    Did anyone every tell her the conotations of that particular phrase? I'll bet that she would have been soooo embarrassed!

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  • cyn427 (z. 7, N. VA)
    13 years ago
    last modified: 9 years ago

    I am one who prefers using the proper terminology for body parts. I also teach, so I agree the shirt would be a distraction. After your other post, I can't imagine even considering this. Great teachable moment.

  • lesterd
    13 years ago
    last modified: 9 years ago

    If I wanted my 13 yr old daughter to respect her body and not give it away to any boy that asked, I'd steer my daughter away from any and all slang uses of both male and female body parts.

  • CaroleOH
    13 years ago
    last modified: 9 years ago

    I agree that it's really not a tactful shirt - especially for a teen to wear.

    Saving your "boobies" isn't the goal of finding the cure for breast cancer - it's saving lives.

    What about a tee shirt for prostate cancer - "Save the Nuts", "Save Your Balls"

    I'd like to see who many boys/men wear a tee shirt with one of these slogans. I think while the intent is good to spread awareness, that kind of awareness doesn't seem to be that productive.

  • newdawn1895
    13 years ago
    last modified: 9 years ago

    Things have changed since I was a young girl and not for the better in many cases.

  • les917
    13 years ago
    last modified: 9 years ago

    Boobies is just such a childish word - something to giggle over when you are 8. Not something to promote support for a very serious health situation that affects men and women. There are also shirts, stickers, etc. out there right now that say "Save the Ta-Tas". I hate it. For one thing, it is juvenile and for another, as was already mentioned, curing breast cancer isn't about 'saving the ta-tas' it is about saving lives. I doubt the men who have breast cancer are worried about saving their ta-tas.

    I am all for supporting breast cancer fund raising and education, and getting young people to be serious about it. But I don't think that is the way.

  • golddust
    13 years ago
    last modified: 9 years ago

    Good point, Caroloh and Mona. That is a great way to test the slogan for political correctness. That slogan doesn't pass the test. Good for you, Shannon, for saying no. Tacky is tacky. That saying implies breasts are more important than your life.

    I'd have a conversation with that boy who wore that offensive bracelet in "support of you." It seems more like attention getting behavior to me. The school was right to take it away, IMO.

  • Shannon01
    Original Author
    13 years ago
    last modified: 9 years ago

    The boy had good intentions and I thanked him even though how he did it may not have been quite right.

    Caroleoh, you went there, thought no one would go there. You cracked me up!

    Terriks- I would be the farm that if I asked Mom if she realized what she had done she still would have no idea what it means. Seriously.

    I think I have heard the Ta Ta phrase recently and that did seem really in poor taste, but the Boobies I was not sure how I felt. I think Tacky and lessening the issue is pretty spot on.

  • neetsiepie
    13 years ago
    last modified: 9 years ago

    I know that our school district has a strict dress code policy and ANYTHING deemed offensive or sexual is grounds for removal. Kids at our schools can't even wear professional team sports logos or t-shirts with numbers on them (gang connotations).

    I know for a fact the kids wouldn't get past the front doors with a shirt on that said 'boobie love'. And I agree, it totally demeans the point.

    Lance Armstrong didn't make it 'cool' to bring awareness to testicular cancer by calling it 'junk-strong'. And everyone knows what his LiveStrong bracelets were for.

  • greenthumbfish
    13 years ago
    last modified: 9 years ago

    Lance Armstrong didn't make it 'cool' to bring awareness to testicular cancer by calling it 'junk-strong'.

    LOL, for me that says it all!

    Well, that, and what Les said.

  • golddust
    13 years ago
    last modified: 9 years ago

    (Lance Armstrong just raced in our town yesterday...)

  • littledog
    13 years ago
    last modified: 9 years ago

    "She wants to challenge the administration by wearing it."

    Okay, so I guess I am the only person who thinks it sounds like it's less about saving anything or supporting anyone, really, than it is about her getting a chance to stand up to the people who have been telling her all year she's not dressing properly. She's even told you that if she were called out on it, she plans on using you as a sympathy card. So you wouldn't just be a cause, you'd become an excuse to flaunt authority.

    I agree; no "Boobie" shirt. Not now, not in the summer, not at all.

  • theroselvr
    13 years ago
    last modified: 9 years ago

    What about a tee shirt for prostate cancer - "Save the Nuts", "Save Your Balls"

    It would be testicular cancer.

    I have to say, there are some really tacky BC shirts. I found one that says "Save 2nd base"

    Have you had your boobies squeezed lately
    Squeeze a boob, save a life
    My oncologist is my homeboy
    I touch myself (with hands right wear the ta tas are.)

    No, I wouldn't wear or want my kid to wear one of the tasteless shirts.

    I don't know where the kids are getting the shirts, this is the site I found. I know nothing of Save a breast except for what it says here. Don't know what type of work they do. - Loser Kid it says The Keep A Breast Foundation is a unique non-profit organization creating plaster forms of the female torso, customized by fine artists and auctioned to raise funding for breast cancer. Our mission is to produce art events that increase breast cancer awareness among young people and benefit breast cancer education, prevention and treatment programs in communities around the world.

    Loserkids.com will donate 100% of all profits from our KAB store to the Keep-A-Breast Foundation.

    Shannon, go to the link below, on the bottom right you will see the cancer bracelet; click on it; they will send you a free one. While you're there, order the free cancer guides, they are great. The one that is $5 to ship is really good too.

    Here is a link that might be useful: Patient Resources

  • IdaClaire
    13 years ago
    last modified: 9 years ago

    "She wants to challenge the administration by wearing it."
    Okay, so I guess I am the only person who thinks it sounds like it's less about saving anything or supporting anyone, really, than it is about her getting a chance to stand up to the people who have been telling her all year she's not dressing properly. She's even told you that if she were called out on it, she plans on using you as a sympathy card. So you wouldn't just be a cause, you'd become an excuse to flaunt authority.

    Wanting to challenge authority is not an atypical teenage reaction though. I would imagine Shannon's DD's desire to wear the shirt is a combination of wanting to show support for her mom, as well as a willful "in your face!" expression to school administrators.

  • gail618
    13 years ago
    last modified: 9 years ago

    But the school administrators are doing the right thing and this is an inappropriate time/matter for Shannon's daughter to be "in your face". Frankly, I can't imagine, with all the trouble your daughter is going through with boys, Shannon, that you would even consider letting her wear this shirt.

  • PRO
    Diane Smith at Walter E. Smithe Furniture
    13 years ago
    last modified: 9 years ago

    20 yr dd just said thinks there are way less tacky ways to support your mom. This was said right after I again expressed my distaste for her Vagina Monologue T-shirt that says MADE IN VAGINA across her chest. She wore it with a jacket so the back of the shirt was hidden and you couldn't read about the project. I won't let her wear it when she is with me. She is angry now as I am typing and feels that she is 20 and put a lot of work into raising money for this cause so it's a different situation.
    OK, done arguing....

    DD here. I would suggest setting up a private meeting with the administration of your daughter's school. Take your daughter with you when you meet with them and discuss different, more appropriate ways to raise awareness - perhaps even plan some sort of school fundraiser. This way, your daughter can still support you,and you can show your support of her initiative. Hopefully, this will fill her need for attention in a positive way and help make a difference in your community.

    Back to Mom:
    I do like her schools campaign "treasure your chest" but don't think the "Boobie Love" or "Made in Vagina" are appropriate.

  • Oakley
    13 years ago
    last modified: 9 years ago

    Personally, I find it demeaning and it's another reason why society has gone to hell in a handbasket.

    Teaching our sons to feel compassion for breast cancer as boobie cancer is disgusting.

    Our language is so out of control it just make our whole society look like uneducated fools.

  • OllieJane
    13 years ago
    last modified: 9 years ago

    I know, Oakley! I am 47 years old, and was raised you respect authority, and people had morals and values. Now, my DH and I, are raising a 7 year old son, and it blows my mind the way the world has become. Since I feel my DH and I skipped a generation in raising kids, since we started so late, we see the difference. My friends who are parents, in the 30ish age range don't notice it so much, because they are contributing to it, and don't seem to mind.

    It is out of control and it really scares me for my DS, and his kids and their kids someday. What's happened?? I wish I could put my finger on it! I see girls in KG that are already crazy about my son, kissing him, writing him love notes, etc. Of course, my DS eats up all the attention he gets, so we have to reign him in at times.

    Scary times, with all the technology and lack of person facing person communication, too. Sorry to be so negative, but, it has been on my mind lately quite a bit, and feel it is part of Shannon's DD problem, she lives in these "times" when Shannon's DD friends parents aren't seeing the whole picture and the damage we face as a society, if something major isn't done about it, quick!!

  • terezosa / terriks
    13 years ago
    last modified: 9 years ago

    My friends who are parents, in the 30ish age range don't notice it so much, because they are contributing to it, and don't seem to mind.

    Yes, that's the age group (no I'm not talking about anyone here) that will proudly wear a Tshirt stating they are a MILF.

  • amysrq
    13 years ago
    last modified: 9 years ago

    The T-shirt for Prostate Cancer would have to read "I Love That Small Donut-Shaped Gland Surrounding the Urethra. Find a Cure!"

    Just in case anyone really wants to know, the prostate is not in or even next to the testicles. I hope none of you ever has to find out more than she ever wanted to know about small donut-shaped glands...

  • stinky-gardener
    13 years ago
    last modified: 9 years ago

    I don't know, I'm 47 too, & I'm often very discouraged to witness the behavior of people my own age. Sometimes I think that the 30-somethings I'm acquainted with seem to want to go back to more genteel ways of doing things.

    Was talking about this the other day with my older sisters. I asked them, "Do you think things will ever go back, or are more civilized times gone forever?" They both feel like the more casual era is here to stay. Some things we talked about included:

    Remember when you dressed up to-- go shopping, get on a plane, go to a basketball game? My sister bought a gorgeous suit (with skirt) to wear to a basketball game that she dearly loved & remembers to this day because it was so stunning. Also, we noted how there was a time when men did not wear baseball caps, shorts, t-shirts & flipflops everywhere! Men dressed like men, even for casual wear, not like 14 yr. old boys.

    Remember when people sent invitations and didn't expect you to pay your own way?

    Remember when people were addressed as Mr., Mrs. Or Miss So & So until you said, "Please, call me Mary!" Now it's first name basis from the instant you meet someone.

    Remember when a group of mixed company was not referred to as "you guys." When I'm out with males & females, the waitress, waiter, greeter asks, "Would you guys like to sit by a window?" for example. I am not a guy.

    I must sound really stuffy, but I think we've paid a price for the more casual era in which we live. Sure, anything goes, how nice, but I miss the kinder, gentler more graceful behavior that resulted from living with more formality.

    Btw, Terriks, I don't know what MILF stands for. Clues?

    Sorry Shannon, for going OT!

  • golddust
    13 years ago
    last modified: 9 years ago

    I just googled MILF. It stands for "Mother I'd love to F-word." As in, 'I don't care if you have kids'. Is that right, Terriks? That doesn't really make sense in the context you used it in. ("I'm a MILF.")

    I don't think you are stuffy, Stinky. It scares me to death. I don't know where we are headed as a society. I am glad I am not raising kids today. My DD just pulled both kids out of school for homeschooling because of all the bullies at school. Girls just walk up to other girls they don't even know and start punching them. If Haley were to get one punch in her eye, her vision will be gone. The schools just don't seem to be able to stop it. Other kids start recording the fights on their cell phones and post it on youtube, like it's cool.

  • terezosa / terriks
    13 years ago
    last modified: 9 years ago

    My son is studying abroad this year in Spain, and you know one of the things he loves? People dress up there. He went to a big festival that would translate here to a county fair, but everyone dressed up. There were no shorts, T-shirts and flip flops, or backwards baseball hats. So there is hope. It's not the entire younger generation that is so casual.

    And MILF = Mother I'd Like to.... I'm sure you can fill in the blank. The same mentatlity thinks it's fun to dress up as Pimps and Hos for a costume party.

  • OllieJane
    13 years ago
    last modified: 9 years ago

    Unfortunately, I know what MILF means, be careful if you look it up on the internet, you will get a lot of unwanted sexual sites.

    stinky, may I call you stinky? LOL! I, too, miss those days where things were more those days where there was more formality and things were more simpler. I do think my friends try to be very good parents, so I didn't mean to say they weren't. I am just very careful about Facebook (don't want to waste my time not communicating face to face or phone by phone) texting constantly, and not eating dinner at home a few times a week. These are just some of the things I see MY 30ish something friends do, that we have decided as a family we won't be a part of. I mean, you can be in the car with your kids, which is a great time to be talking to them, but, instead you are on cell phone, texting, etc. The moms I know, don't work, but, they may as well, as much time they are on Facebook and cell phones, instead of spending qualitly time with their kids, KWIM? Sounds like I don't like them, but, I really do! It's the times we are in now.

    I'm thinking there was a study recently I heard Gayle King on the Oprah Satellite radio, that stated all the technology people are into, that it is detrimental to our society with people not being able to communicate with each other, other than with technology. Wish I could remember exactly, but, I knew it was coming.

  • stinky-gardener
    13 years ago
    last modified: 9 years ago

    Yes, you may call me Stinky, rather than Ms. Gardener, Olliesmom! LOL! I'm sure that you like & care about your friends. I hear what you're saying. You make really great points about technology. It has changed our culture dramatically and new etiquette must emerge to gracefully deal with it.

    Golddust thanks for the education & for not thinking I'm stuffy! Terriks, thanks for the translation too, & for the interesting info about Spain's culture... does sound refreshing.

    Shannon, the concerns you have about the appropriateness of the t-shirt slogan reflect the concerns so many of us have about today's world beyond the t-shirt. Thanks for starting an interesting & important thread.

  • CaroleOH
    13 years ago
    last modified: 9 years ago

    Ok, so I know what prostate and testicular cancer is and differences between....just got my words/anatomical parts skewed while coming up with my tee shirt slogans :-)

    I think I was able to make my point even if my anatomy was off an inch or two!

  • Sheeisback_GW
    13 years ago
    last modified: 9 years ago

    I didn't fully read all of these...

    I think the whole "feel your boobies, boobie love" thing is really, really juvenile. What was wrong with the other awareness saying they had? I don't know which I find more sad, kids walking around with this stuff on or the adults.

  • seagrass_gw Cape Cod
    13 years ago
    last modified: 9 years ago

    I've lost both of my breasts to cancer. My boobs. My hooters. My "fun bags". My "ta tas". Gives new meaning to the phrase "killer-tits".

    I despise the color pink in relation to breast cancer. The color should be angry red, or black.

    I have no use for the touchy feely pink crap people bestow upon me.

    Cancer is ugly, painful and deforming. There's nothing trendy, funny or pastel about it. People need to respect that.

    seagrass

  • golddust
    13 years ago
    last modified: 9 years ago

    I do respect that, seagrass. I'm glad you survived. I always wondered who came up with the baby pink.

  • stinky-gardener
    13 years ago
    last modified: 9 years ago

    Seagrass, I'm so glad you spoke out & shared your truth with us. You shed light on how discounting and demeaning it must feel when others try to impose universal symbolism, images and meaning upon something that is so incredibly personal.

    You make me realize how powerful it would be if women who have "been there" gave voice to the journey through their own art. Perhaps this has been done already somewhere, but to see more personal images and to hear more intimate language about the experience would be so much more helpful and appropriate than the generic messages we more often are exposed to.

    I am sorry to hear of the suffering you have endured, and so glad that you have survived the ordeal. You did us all a service by sharing your experience and perspective with such honesty. Thank you.

  • jay06
    13 years ago
    last modified: 9 years ago

    I so agree with your powerful words, seagrass. I've never understood why it's been such a hugely successful strategy to attach cutesy and trendy gimmicks to the breast cancer awareness campaign. My Dad lost an eye to cancer, then half his face, then his life. I can't imagine the same fundraising tactic applied to his type of cancer. Why has it been so acceptable and profitable for breast cancer? It's almost been purposely linked to a "woman power" mentality, and I don't like it, but I can't begrudge the money it's raised.

  • OllieJane
    13 years ago
    last modified: 9 years ago

    seagrass, thanks for enlightening us! So glad you are here to do so!

  • Oakley
    13 years ago
    last modified: 9 years ago

    Seagrass, I bet you spoke for millions of women who are afraid to speak up about pink.

    I blame all of this on the parents for allowing their children who are underage to wear such drivel. It's time for the parents to put their foot down. IF that ever happens which I doubt, maybe our society will gain back a little class? Seriously, we are a joke to other countries, and can you blame them?

    Parents can be friends and parents to their children, but they have to stop wanting to be "cool" and let their kids be "cool" too so they will fit in with their friends.

    I'm very proud of my DIL. She's pregnant with her first girl and has already told me she will NOT be wearing any bikinis until she's age appropriate.

    I know that may seem trivial but I cringe when I see little tots and little girls in bikinis because they're so suggestive.

    It all begins with the parents.

  • cooperbailey
    13 years ago
    last modified: 9 years ago

    I understand seagrass- been there as well. As for me,I appreciate and have benefited from the think pink campaign and the race for the cure -( which I have walked in).When I think of my mother in law- who I never met- suffering in silence from breast cancer and mastectomies- because it was never to be mentioned out loud by anyone. How nice it would have been if she could have reached out to a support group,and just to share thoughts with someone else who has been there. And it would have been so helpful to her family as well- and they may not have been as scarred from losing their Mom to BC when they were in their teens. Silence is not always golden.
    Boobies and tatas- please grow up- we grew up from giggling and being ashamed of saying the correct anatomical terms. Why encourage it- especially among men- they are smart enough to learn to say breast. Are we going back to being nothing more than chests and toys and not thinking women? gawd hope not.

  • barb5
    13 years ago
    last modified: 9 years ago

    Now even breast cancer is sexualized, and women demeaned. It was only a matter of time.

    Breast cancer has nothing to do with "boobie love." It is a struggle for life, mostly by women but it sometimes attacks men too. Many of these women still have children to raise, families to love, and contributions to society to make. And many of them leave behind grieving children and partners.

    I know... my mother died of breast cancer after a modified mastectomy and 9 years of chemotherapy, in a life and death struggle whose battles left her body scarred and ravaged. And still, she would have given anything to live. She left 4 kids and a loving husband behind

    It is NOT about "boobie love." It is about life, the life of the person with the disease, and the lives of everyone else who loves that person and depends upon them.

  • Shannon01
    Original Author
    13 years ago
    last modified: 9 years ago

    Seagrass- I so know what you mean. I don't want to be anyones "cause" which is why I have only told those who need to know what I am going through. I think the Race For the Cure and such are wonderful things and I totally support them. I also support anyone who choses to walk around bald as that is their current normal. I am going to notify those who I have not told AFTER I am done. I want them to not see me WHILE I treat but to look back and be in awe of HOW I treated. For me I think that will give the greatest impact on my friends. Not for everyone, but works for me.

    So my dd had to do a graph for math. She did the pink ribbon and the words Boobie Love. She told me the teacher said it was cute. Hm, really? Just to be sure I mentioned this to teacher when emailing her to make sure work was turned in. She replied that the work was excellent but that she felt the phrase was a little inappropriate for 7th grade math. Oh, I so called my dd on that. She had nothing to say.

    I think this topic really ties in with that parents are faced with these days, and my other post. We cannot even allow our kids to walk home from school without other kids who are on the loose interfering. She cannot walk to her daycare job because she runs into kids wandering around and she stops to chat. (yes, it is dd's fault that she stops but it is hard).

    She went to a friends and the dad let them go to movies down the street, they live behind theatre area. I know it is his neighborhood, but he let two 12yr old beautiful girls walk about 5 blocks and go see a movie. He hoped I was not upset because they were going to see one of those hip-hop teen dance movies but they were late and had to see another movie. It was an action, superhero type movie. He was surprised when I told him that actually I would not have wanted them to see the hip-hop movie. He is a great dad and loves his dd but I just really think folks don't think these days.

    The tech world is a blessing but a nightmare for our kids. It has created a society of anti-socials. We go to Great America and eat. There are families sitting there all indivdually texting instead of sharing a meal together. Ok, maybe one is checking on whereabouts of one of the kids. Or the kids sit in car with ipod hooked in when the family radio is on. Sorry, this is too much.

    Every generation has it's issues and each says they will not be as tough as their parents were. And so on. So it is like we have kids raising kids raising kids. My parents are 75, I am 44 (yuck, thought I was going to skip that one but just had my bday) and my kid is 13. Most families my dd is around have parents that are grandparents are 50s, parents in 30s and kids are 13. I think that factor really is making things harder to deal with. Not enough real grownups raising these kids?? (hope this does not offend anyone in this group, it is just an opinion of the environment I am in).

    So it sounds like the consensus is that BL may be a good intention it is in poor taste. As that woman at Walmart said it was disgusting, well I don't think that is necessarily true, but I do agree that it is in poor taste, regardless of the intentions.

    I tend to not read over before I post, and chemo brain makes me have to read twice sometimes, but I did not mean that I would buy her a shirt or let her henna the BL. I think I might have implied that but did not mean to.

  • IdaClaire
    13 years ago
    last modified: 9 years ago

    Shannon, if you don't want your DD out walking alone on the streets, why would you allow her to go to a friend's house without the explicit instruction that she isn't to venture anywhere else? I don't think it was up to the other girl's father to be aware of your expectations unless you made them known. If you did instruct your daughter not to walk to the movies, then she should be disciplined for defying your rules.

    It sounds to me like you're trying to push an awful lot of blame off on other people, whether it's those other "kids on the loose interfering" or fathers who "don't think."

  • Oakley
    13 years ago
    last modified: 9 years ago

    Shannon, I would have been LIVID if my kid went to a movie without me knowing, and finding out he/she walked to the movies.

    Where I live parents tell each other if they're taking the kids to a movie or not, even if they're teenagers.

    Did you know your DD was putting "Booby Love" on her math project, or did she do it behind your back?

    I think it's time to be firm with her and tell her to stop saying "booby's" in regards to breast cancer. I think she does it because it sounds cute and cool. It's not.

    That's what I mean when I basically said parents need to start stepping up to the plate. The buck stops with the parents.

  • Shannon01
    Original Author
    13 years ago
    last modified: 9 years ago

    Oakleyok- Sorry, did not mean to imply that at all. Not putting blame on him, he is a great dad just was surprised he let them walk. I actually thought he was driving them there. Had no idea he was going to let them walk. I think he just changed his mind and thought it was no big deal since he lives in area.

    And no, I had no idea about the graph until she showed it to me. This is why I emailed the teacher because dd said she thought it was cute. DD thought it was cute.

    We actually had a real good chat about this whole boobie thing. She just really thinks she is supporting something and said it is cute. I told her about all the discussion here and that it really comes down to being tacky and distracting from the real issue. When I asked her if men should wear shirts saying "support my ball". She was horrifed and said no. Then she got this "Ohhhh" look on her face. She came to conclusion that shock value was not how she wanted to bring support to a cause. She then switched gears and asked if she could come up with some other phrase or way to support. She suggested selling sodas at our yard sale and donating proceeds, like she did for Katrina or the local cat adoption center. It was nice to see her focused on giving rather than receiving.

    I think all the great discussion here gave me a lot to share with her. She really wants to do something so I told her we could toss around some ideas that are tasteful and helpful.

  • theroselvr
    13 years ago
    last modified: 9 years ago

    There's a blog about Breast Cancer Barbie. I've read a few of the bloggers posts last year.. but most BC patients don't like the Barbie.

    Here's part of her blog on Barbie-

    A Doll With Boobs
    As a woman living with breast cancer (and minus one breast) who is forced to run a gauntlet of pink products every October, my question is this:

    What does this beauty queen, fairy princess, DOLL in a pink formal gown say about me and my experience with breast cancer?

    And the answer is: Nothing.

    Nothing.

    This doll does not offer me hope.
    Â This doll certainly does not offer a positive image of a strong woman living with cancer.
    Â And the doll is not even a fund-raising effort that I can support.

  • Shannon01
    Original Author
    13 years ago
    last modified: 9 years ago

    What an insulting product. The big question is why would a little girl need to play with this type of doll. Or do they think this is something we as adult women would want to buy. It is nothing like the authentic NYC Firefighter I bought my son after 911.

    I think I am going to contact Matel on this one.

  • Shannon01
    Original Author
    13 years ago
    last modified: 9 years ago

    I had to read that again. You copied the bloggers comments. I somehow thought the barbie had one breast. But I still think it is just taking all this pink product stuff way too far.

  • terezosa / terriks
    13 years ago
    last modified: 9 years ago

    We actually had a real good chat about this whole boobie thing. She just really thinks she is supporting something and said it is cute.

    The thing is that at her age, she doesn't have enough maturity or experience to understand how others will perceive the "boobie" slogan. She just thinks its cute. That is why kids need to have things like this explained to them. Your analogy with men's "balls" was great.

  • theroselvr
    13 years ago
    last modified: 9 years ago

    Shannon, sorry to confuse. I was rushing.. had to work on hub's medical bills today; we have 10 days to send the charity care form back.

    Yes, I copied her blog. IIRC, she had other entries of pink products; from what I remember reading; she and other BC patients dislike a lot of the pink stuff being sold. I actually collect Barbie; I'd just gotten a Barbie email about the doll, was googling it and came upon her blog. I was clueless before that. It was the comment above that made me think of the Barbie.

  • Faron79
    13 years ago
    last modified: 9 years ago

    I can sure understand the probable "well meaning" of the phrase/images, but TO ME...it kinda puts TOO cutesy/comical of a spin on it.
    Starts to sound kinda trivial too, when it's anything but!

    However, this kind of a tack on it may work for some. Maybe some people are scared of the subject, and it may be more approachable when preceded by a more "light-hearted" phrase like "Boobie Love".

    Faron

  • work_in_progress_08
    13 years ago
    last modified: 9 years ago

    shannon - I have been following your thread with great interest as the mom of a 19 soon to be 20 yr. old young woman. I have to say DD has never given DH & me any trouble whatsoever, so all that you are posting about your DD is foreign from a parent's standpoint, but I have experience with dealing with DD's friend choices made over the years.

    Does your DD have a best girlfriend or a group of girlfriends that she spends time with? You mention a "best bud", but I am surmising from your posts that this best bud is a boy? I have to wonder if your DD has no girlfriends at this point, why is that? Has she ever had female friends with whom she spends a majority of her social time with? Also, if she has had girlfriends, have they separated themselves from your DD, or more importantly, have their parents separated them?

    I had a situation when my DD was entering high school and meeting new friends from different schools as we have a regional school district which accommodates 3 townships. DD met a girl a year older than she, through her best friend. The girl lived across the street from DD's best friend since they were in elementary school. I absolutely hands down prevented my DD from hanging out with this girl as she was a very developed, boy crazy girl whose parents did nothing to stop this kid from her behavior with the boys. She was never held to a curfew, when she was home she was allowed to have boys in the home, down in the rec room, no adult supervision. It was probably one of my DD's worst summers socially, but there was no way that I wanted my DD associated in any way with this girl. The words of my own DM came out of my mouth without any hesitation "you will be judged by the company you keep". I probably heard that a zillion times growing up, and swore I would never be like my own DM. How your mind changes when it is your own child. I felt at the time that it was my job as my DD's mother, to protect her as best as I could from running in the fast lane. I am so glad I did. My DD now has a casual relationship with the girl as she cannot be avoided living across the street from DD's best friend. Sadly, I feel that the girl's DM played a huge part in not stepping up to the plate. She wanted so badly to be her DD's friend, that she lost sight of the fact that her DD needed a MOTHER, not a friend at that very impressionable age.

    This past weekend I learned that the girl is now pregnant with a baby from a one night stand. IMHO, her life is essentially over. She will more than likely never return to college, she will be living in her parents' home, raising a baby with her DM's help. The girl's DM still hasn't gotten it. Her daughter will give birth to a child with no father in the picture. The DM is happy to be a grandmother. This girl was a year ahead of my DD. She did enroll in our local community college, but did not do well. The DM constantly made excuses as to why things didn't bode well for her daughter at the college, in other words, it was always someone else's fault when her daughter got into trouble. Well, she failed out of her first semester and aspired to obtain a job at a local daycare where she worked until that didn't work out for whatever reason, of course, none of it being her fault.

    Also, what is stunning to me is that you have not made any mention of taking your DD to a gyn. There are adolescent gynecologists available. You posted that your DH is a physician? Have you not told him what you know of your DD's previous behavior, current plans with regard to sex? I am having a very hard time wrapping my head around the fact that your DH has not insisted that your daughter see a gynecologist. If your DD had diabetes or seizure disorder would you take her to the doctor? As an objective party here, I am just floored that you are not taking her to a gynecologist. If you haven't told your DH about your DD's sexual comments and evidence of opportunity for having sex, I think you should do so. Perhaps he would from a medical standpoint surely realize that a gynecologic examination of your DD is imperative. You posted about possibly talking to the pediatrician, I think you are way past going to the pediatrician. I would call the pediatrician for a referral to an adolescent gynecologist poste haste. This is your DD's health here, not just about birth control. I do not see it as putting your "seal of approval" of her behavior by taking her to a gynecologist, rather I see it as a necessary obligation as your DD's parent knowing what you do about the activities she is engaging in.

    I truly am not trying to offend you, but I cannot continue to read daily updates of talks and privileges, which BTW are great, but there is a much bigger picture here that I do not think you are seeing or are choosing not to see or deal with it. An appointment with a good adolescent gynecologist would be worth it's weight in gold at this point and going forward with DD.

    I don't think your DD is complying, I think she is playing you and you are buying it all, hook, line and sinker.

    I hope you take action on this as there are no do-overs with regard to many forms of STD's or heaven forbid, the AIDS virus.

    My DH is not a physician and we have talked at length about your situation from a parents' standpoint and he, like me, cannot understand why you have not taken your child to be examined.

    I really cannot read these comments much longer as I think you are putting your head in the sand by not having your child examined by a professional in this field of expertise.

    I wish you the best.

  • work_in_progress_08
    13 years ago
    last modified: 9 years ago

    shannon - This post was in response to your thread about your DD's diary. I don't know how to have it moved.

    My apologies for this mixup. I hope, however, you do read it and of course, after discussing it with your DH, consider this suggestion from one mom to another.

    I will try to cross post on the correct thread.

  • theroselvr
    13 years ago
    last modified: 9 years ago

    Shannon, sorry to confuse. I was rushing.. had to work on hub's medical bills today; we have 10 days to send the charity care form back.

    Yes, I copied her blog. IIRC, she had other entries of pink products; from what I remember reading; she and other BC patients dislike a lot of the pink stuff being sold. I actually collect Barbie; I'd just gotten a Barbie email about the doll, was googling it and came upon her blog. I was clueless before that. It was the comment above that made me think of the Barbie.

  • theroselvr
    13 years ago
    last modified: 9 years ago

    One of those mornings.. I was reading the posts, hit my back button & for some reason it reposted my message.