hhireno, that is the problem with this - being out in the stores and looking online at the sites you guys have all linked, I've spent more than my budget on other clothes and still don't have anything to wear to the gala! Focus daisy, focus.

I think the Chico's blouse could totally work with the right skirt like this sequin mini. Of course, you gotta have the legs for it!

{{gwi:1499526}}

Here is a link that might be useful: Sequin Skirt

Have you tried Dots or Rue 21? I bought a few nice pieces from them last year. I think it was Rue 21. We shop at both; they're next to each other. I think it's Rue that has the better sweaters & accessories

In these parts, formal events don't neccesarily mean really fancy cocktail dresses. A simple dress in a nice fabric worn with high heels, coupled with some dangly earrings, and a blingy bracelet fits right in with what most people would be wearing.

You haven't said...how tall are you? age? size?

More shopping sites?! I'm back to work tomorrow and am desperately trying to get all my preparation done today, but maybe just a few minutes online ...

This is a yearly event, but I've never gone so I'm not positive about the attire. However, we are a very small city and most of the sales staff at the stores I went into knew about the event and many said a nice skirt and blouse dressed up would be okay. But I have to say, I would prefer to err on the side of caution.

For those of you still interested, I am about 5'8" size 8/10 and mid 40's. And I really wish I had the legs for that mini skirt. I have a long body and short legs, so I usually gravitate to longer skirts and higher waists.

If I get my weekly plan done, I'll allow myself to go look at those e stores.

Daisy; you're similar to me. Rue 21 had a lot of nice stuff that if you have similar taste; you may find something. I don't even bother with other stores. The blouses & jackets (one was a sweater type material but fancy) could be dressed up or down. If I use my nice denims; it's great for a night out & if I use my good black pants or skirt; it's dressier. Then add jewelry & shoes to dress it up or down more.

Do you like pencil skirts?

How about a glittery type shrug? Maybe in gold or silver?
It would give you a sleeve and the fabric would dress your LBD up but not too much. The right jewerly and shoes would complete the look.

Check at the good consignment shops in your town. That way you wouldn't have to pay as much and yet get what would work. If not a shrug, you might find a wrap of some dressy sort that would work.

Another

Here is a link that might be useful: dress 3

OMG--sorry so huge!!!!!!!!!!!

I think Mboston is right, though. You already have a dress that fits you well. And who knows . . .by the end of the evening, you may not feel self-conscious and you will be OK with your arms!

It's fun shopping for you, though. Always nice to spend someone else's money!

I like that last one a lot, I would wear something like that (w/some jewelry) then I clicked on the link, Jones NY, I usually like their lines.

Yet another, but I'm guessing it's too busy for you.

Here is a link that might be useful: lace dress

Last one-- can't resist . . .

Here is a link that might be useful: long dress

I love that lace dress. It's a classic.

I don't know if this appeals to you, but I think this would be appropriate because it's silk and kind of lighthearted for spring, plus it looks comfortable to wear. I can see it with about 4 inches of black bangles, sexy black heels and a shawl to dress it up.

Here is a link that might be useful: print dress

So sorry, I have been back at work and life is crazy - but i have made minor progress.

I bought these shoes in both the nude and black (will return one pair later). I know the cork is a bit casual, but the leather is patent which, to me, makes them dressy.

I also saw a lovely large silk scarf at Mexx that I love to wear as a wrap. I haven't actually bought it yet because I also ordered a sheer wrap off of ebay and I want to wait and see if it will work.

Here is a link that might be useful: shoes

Oops, the link won't take you to the right shoes. Scroll across and the shoes are called "Slim" they are a cork wedge with two straps in nude patent.

Those are cute, but imo honestly not a dressy shoe, and not for a formal occasion. Patent is not necessarily a dressy material - lots of fun, casual shoes come in patent.

Well, I guess my feet will just have to be casual. I think they will work with the look I am going for. I agree they wouldn't work with the Talbot's style dress above, but I think they will look good (and be dressy enough) with the look I am going for - still hoping for more of a Carrie Bradshaw vibe.

Here is a link that might be useful: a dress like this (but cheaper please)

I think black patent shoes could work, but not with cork soles if you're going for a more formal look. I think a platform wedge that has a more sculpted heel would be dressier.

The key to making the cork sole shoes work with your dress would be the jacket or coverup you choose. A crochet shrug in a bright color with several multi-colored, multi-length necklaces would make a nice outfit, I think. I would feel very comfortable attending a dressy function wearing something like that.

Or, going in another direction...this black and white jacket would work well with your balck dress and give you a more crisp,clean look that would be nice with your shoes.

Here is a link that might be useful: jacket

Mona, I think the jacket linked is lovely, it just isn't really me. I found the website Eve's Apple (linked above) and they seem to have things that are my style. I hope formal can be fun and funky (and even a little bit edgy!)

This jacket is lace, but is cut in a modern style. Obviously not formal with the tshirt and skirt, but with a silk dress would look fab (and formal - I think).
{{gwi:1499530}}

The Slim wedges are definitely casual, not dressy. I also believe the dress at Eve's Apple is very casual. The wedges would probably look good with the dress from Even's apple, but they certainly will be out-of-place in the formal setting you have described.

I tried to post these as pictures, but kept getting white boxes with red Xs in them.

http://www.saksfifthavenue.com/main/ProductDetail.jsp?FOLDER%3C%3Efolder_id=2534374306422174&PRODUCT%3C%3Eprd_id=845524446459794&R=797532725647&P_name=Aidan+Mattox&N=306422174+4294929608+4294929599+4294929600&bmUID=jqghMMk

http://www.saksfifthavenue.com/main/ProductDetail.jsp?FOLDER%3C%3Efolder_id=2534374306422174&PRODUCT%3C%3Eprd_id=845524446372475&R=810989017612&P_name=Candela&N=306422174+4294929608+4294929599+4294929600&bmUID=jqgidM3

http://www.saksfifthavenue.com/main/ProductDetail.jsp?FOLDER%3C%3Efolder_id=2534374306422174&PRODUCT%3C%3Eprd_id=845524446438205&R=886115102712&P_name=Diane+von+Furstenberg&N=306422174+4294929608+4294929599+4294929600&bmUID=jqgj8Gt

Here is a link that might be useful: Dress

Adore the dresses at Saks. They are definitely more Carrie Bradshaw than Stepford wife, but don't have the budget for them.

This is becoming way too stressful for me and no longer fun. I think DH and I will get dressed up and go to our favourite restaurant instead.

Thanks everyone for trying, but I just don't think I am the gala kind of gal.

There are lots of Carrie Bradshaw-ish clothes at White House Black Market. You get a nice quality for a decent price too. I'm in Florida though...most of the time our formal is a bit on the casual formal side.

no, no, no!! don't let the fear of others judging your outfit prevent you from going!! at least in this area (northeast) there would really be a wide variety of type of dress to a 'somewhat' formal event!!!
i would wear the black sandals with a black dress. try the scarf, and don't worry so much about your arms!!

Don't stress! If you are most comfortable in jeans and a black cardigan why not shift your selections to things you will be comfortable in. Get some nice black dress pants, you sort of need some things like that anyway for funerals or interviews or you name it...nice black pants can really be dressed up as well. Look at this nice white shrug, you could wear it dressy or with jeans. Now all you need is a nice necklace a nice more formal looking black top and some kickem heels.

Thanks for the encouragement, but this was meant to be a happy night out to try to get us back on a positive track. It's been a tough year with many friends battling cancer and my DH's work (which he loves) looking like it might evaporate into thin air. This started off as something exciting to plan for and get all up about (yes, this how dull and depressing our lives have become) and now it is turning into another stress. I must admit I am hormonal at the moment and maybe next week I will find it fun again, but for now it just feels like one more thing to make time for. Altho, the ruffles on that last black dress do make me happy. My DD says I'll buy anything if it has ruffles :-)

Oh the darn hormones where everything bad is magnified X ten. Keep us informed will ya?

Oh! I didn't know you liked ruffles because I thought you liked structure!

Sometimes I feel that way before a big event/party/whatever, but 99% of the time I enjoy it, even though I am stressed for the preparation.

It sounds like the ladies at the dress shop said even casual goes . . .maybe just wear the dress and original jacket and call it a day?

Another one-- $79 It's not super formal but has ruffles, structure, and is just a little different:

(Can only get a huge image-- sorry)

Here is a link that might be useful: Armani Exchange

I've told my daughter not to make any life changing decisions when she's premenstrual.

I know you have been looking at higher end dresses, but take a look at the Dress Barn cocktail dresses. Most of them are less that $100 but they look much nicer on than the pictures show. DD is top-heavy with large upper arms and found a beautiful black cocktail dress there for a cruise last summer and it was so flattering. The shutter dress, first dress in Row 10 has short sleeves, but still looks sexy! Even their sleeveless dress have good underarm and boob coverage - yet they don't look old-ladyish. If you are a 9/10, I bet your arms look nicer than you think :).

Here is a link that might be useful: Dress Barn Cocktail dresses

Here is a shrug that will most likely look lovely with your black dress.

Here is a link that might be useful: Chiffon Multicolor Shrug

I agree with Tuesday to look in Dress Barn. It is taking me too long to see the examples but I know Dress Barn. Their quality is not the best but for an occasion it is fine. If you want a classic dress that you will have for many years then expect to pay accordingly or if you know ahead and can follow really good sales.
My feeling is a plain black dress with a short matching blazer. You can wear the dress alone and use the blazer with trousers . Not too dressy looking as this is a school function not a wedding.
Also do you have friends who are going?What are they wearing?
My other thought is that as long as you are appropriate I think you will fit in and feel comfortable. There is always a gamut of very plain to very dressy because some people just wear what they have.

Sorry, I posted without seeing your post. I so get how a formal event can be stressful, especially if this type of thing is out of your comfort zone.
But I agree with the above poster. Sometimes, you need to get out there. Don't let this stress you out.
My advise is to see what a few friends are wearing. Ones who went to this event before and know what is customary. Then, you can narrow down your search knowing that there will be at leeast a few people in similar style at the event.
But, I have to stress again what I said above. Whenevr I have attended a formal event like a wedding or even a college graduation, the style of clothing goes from casual to very very formal. A black simple dress and a dressy blazer will be fine.

Rue La La had a great sale on a black silk dress today. It's made by Brochu and its retail is $367. On sale for $59.90. Only left in size small.

Right now, with prom season about to begin, I've seen many formal dresses at exclusive stores that are marked down drastically. Do you have any stores like that near you?

In my region, none of the various options discussed above would be considered black tie. They would at best be dinner party or dinner out or semi-formal dresses.

I have a black tie party coming up and I went to a boutique and found a $600 dress for $99. Got lucky on the sale rack! Alterations were another $60 but to have a dress of this quality (it's a Jovani) that is perfectly fitted for under $200 is unheard of. It can be done though. Maybe you can find a store near you that carries the brand, The Jovani website www.jovani.com lists retailers, perhaps there's one in your area. David's Bridal also sells black tie dresses and has deep markdowns. They're a national chain.

I shopped Marshalls, TJ Maxx, Burlington Coat Factory etc. for all the extras (wrap, shoes, beaded bag, undergarments, jewelry etc) and my total cost for a really complete evening outfit is about $300. I doubt I'll wear the dress again but I will definitely use the accessory items for other parties so it's not a total waste.

Okay, I have shoes and a dress and better attitude to boot. I loooove many of the dresses posted above, but I'm down to the wire (4 days to go) and don't have time to order anything online.

Here are the shoes (sorry for the size - don't know how to adjust). They are not my ideal look, but man are they comfortable.
{{gwi:1499541}}

I can't find a picture of the dress, but it is black with long bell chiffon sleeves and is quite fitted, but has shutter pleats so you don't see every extra pound.

My only worry is that the dress has an exposed back zip (which I like 'cause it makes it a bit edgy), but the shoes also have a zip. Too much zip? I hope not because it's pretty much too late at this point :-)

Just realized I need a clutch of some sort and a coat (still pretty chilly here). Can probably make a cape of some sort, no? Buy 2 yards of a wool melton or something similar that won't fray and cut it down the middle halfway.

Whew! I'm almost there.

Here is a link that might be useful: similar dress but has long bell sleeves

I think you'll look great great! Go and have fun!

So glad you didn't give up. I think you found a good dress and I like the shoes too. What a bonus that they are comfortable! Don't worry about too much zip.
Have fun and keep us posted about how the event went.

I'm glad you persevered too! Nice shoes! And they look quite versatile, something you'll be able to wear a number of places.
I know it's hard finding the right outfit, pre internet days, I used to cry, literally, over not being able to find nice shoes as I wear a size 11. It seemed so unfair that I could not go into a dept. store shoe area as everything stopped at 10.

PERFECT! I think you will feel great, and the fact that the shoes are actually comfortable is amazing!!!

Bumble, I have the same problem the other way! My shoes are 5.5. The salespeople have told me that most stores only stock one 5.5 The problem is my heel is very narrow and front wider (but not a wide) so shoes are either too tight or slip off. I am stuck with backless shoes forever.

Anele, I have always had problems with shoes. I envy both my daughters who wear 81/2 and can walk in today and buy a pair of shoes!
My size is 5 1/2 wide but I am able to go up a 1/2sizeand can buy brands like Aerosoles and Easy Spirit.

Well, we have just arrived home and I have to tell you that at least 3 people commented on my dress and one woman I didn't even know came up just to comment on it and ask if I had bought it out of town.

I hope you will find this amusing, but I decided at the last minute to buy a different dress. I actually purchased the dress I wore at 3pm today and we were at the event at 630! I will try to post a pic tomorrow. I just want to say such a huge thank you to everyone for getting involved and saving me from wearing something completely inappropriate. I know in the big scheme of things this was just a friviolity, but it meant a lot to us to go out and have fun with friends and I wouldn't have enjoyed myself nearly as much if I didn't feel like I fit in wardrobe-wise. Thanks again!

Yes! Post a picture. So glad you had a good time. This is what life is about. Being able to get out there and socialize and feel good about yourself at the same time.
Since you already had a dress, you were able to relax and were open to other options.

Here is as close to the style as I can find. Basic black lace, 3/4 sleeve, boat neck (mine doesn't have the v-back), with a nude slip.

I'm so glad you had fun and that you reported back. Love the dress and the shoes, I bet you looked smashing.

Sounds perfect, and if the dress was much like the pix you posted, it was the right look for your event. Glad you had a good time!

Magnificent Post. I really like your article. <a href="https://www.stacees.co.uk/">mother of the bride dresses</a>