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graywings123

Top Ten Deep Thoughts for the New Year

graywings123
14 years ago

First, let me explain. For a couple of years now, I have been receiving jokes and photos by e-mail from a woman who I don't know. She apparently thinks she is sending the messages to a friend of hers with my last name. I probably should clue her in that her friend isn't getting the e-mails, but they generally are pretty good. Here is today's:

Top Ten Deep Thoughts for the New Year

Thought #10: Life is sexually transmitted.

Thought #9: Good health is merely the slowest possible rate at which one can die.

Thought #8: Men have two emotions: Hungry and Horny. If you see him without an erection, make him a sandwich.

Thought #7: Give a person a fish and you feed them for a day; teach a person to use the Internet and they won't bother you for weeks.

Thought #6: Some people are like a Slinky ... not really good for anything, but you still can't help but smile when you shove them down the stairs.

Thought #5: Health nuts are going to feel stupid someday, lying in hospitals dying of nothing.

Thought #4: All of us could take a lesson from the weather. It pays no attention to criticism.

Thought #3: Why does a slight tax increase cost you $200. 00 and a substantial tax cut saves you $0.30?

Thought #2: In the '60's, people took acid to make the world weird. Now the world is weird and people take Prozac to make it normal.

#1 Thought: We know exactly where one cow with Mad-cow-disease is located among the millions and millions of cows in America , but we haven't got a clue as to where thousands of illegal immigrants and terrorists are located. Maybe we should put the Department Of Agriculture in charge of immigration and terrorism.

Bonus Thought: "Life is like a jar of jalapeños. What you do today, might burn your ass tomorrow".

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