Sorry for the confusion mel- My cost to build comment was more referring to macv's photos and other photos of houses. I was simply saying I could in no way see a photo of a random house online and tell you what I think that house would cost to build in my particular area. Obviously that is something best left to professionals. It is not in reference to our particular project. We have determined our budget, and will have 25% of that in cash. My builder had given me a ballpark figure based on a larger houseplan we had considered building, but we scrapped the plan for various reasons including the garage layout, the bedroom schematics, and upon closer inspection felt like a lot of wasted space. Our situation has been a little stressful for another big reason- Within a span of a few weeks a couple events transpired that changed our circumstances. My parents bought 74 acres of land (40 tillable, the rest very hilly and wooded) within city limits. Its property boundaries are defined by the main highway running through town, and a gravel road that leads to a development. We contemplated buying 10 acres from my parents and building on that land so we could be 1 minute from town vs. 10 minutes. We then got a cash offer we couldn't refuse for the 14 acres we owned that we had originally intended to build on. So now we have a new build site. Now I am sitting here weighing the pros and cons of this change in build site. My parents are also building at the same time as us, so we are sharing a well. In addition, they are covering the cost for our soon-to-be shared driveways- a blacktop drive accessible from the highway that is about a half mile, and an access drive cutting across the ridge of our build sites that will be graveled. This alone will save us a minimum $50,000 once you factor in blacktop and the well. The bad: Our acreage will border their acreage, we will have easements for the driveways instead of owning the land adjacent to the highway, and my father will probably develop the other large chunk within a few years (the 74 acres is literally bordered by 2 different developments, so it is ripe for that type of endeavor). I guess in the end we figured the shared benefits were too great to pass up. So yeah, we will be living next door to my parents. I know this may sound like a nightmare to some people but my parents are awesome, and this will not be their full-time residence so I think it will be okay.

"I didnt say she posted the positive side, I said she posted a biased view, and the entire article had some other points. For example, where the article said SM was a bit of a misnomer, and it might be better for a SM to forget the mother in the name, and be more like an aunt." It did have other points you are right, but what is wrong with putting the ones on there that will lift the group. Also, I completely disagree with the act as an aunt role idea. I do not pretend to be the BM of my son, but at my home I AM the mom and I refuse to go back and forth between roles. This is easier in my family since my SS was young and excepting of me when DH and I got together. The aunt role would work better (IMO) for someone coming in later in the child's life. IMO I am a parent to my SS regardless of step or bio and I will act as such. "I do regard my DD as a victim of divorce. I am not aware of any study that doesnt put children of divorce at a disadvantage to children in intact families. And she certainly didnt cause the divorce". I did not say they are not victims. However, it is not a good idea, IMO, to go around considering yourself or your kids as victims, at least not to them, or they will always pitty themselves instead of learning from the situation that they have been put in. I agree that it is not fair to them and is definitely not an ideal situation to be in. I did say that with the way you and others act about second marriages it is almost like you are disregarding the fact that other children are born out of these second marriages and that they could be put in this situation to. Do you not understand that by constantly telling everyone that statistically they are more likely to fail than succeed in a second marriage it comes off as you almost hope we do, our kids bedamned. Also, I completely agree that kids of divorce are at a disadvantage to kids in a intact family. Unless, that intact family is an unhappy one in which they are better of in a divorce situation. "I think the point about second marriages failing is taken out of context. Its more about Dad should have more a role, as child may end up with serial SMs." You are generalizing here. Dads are not the only ones who do this. In fact, in my own person experience my DH and I have been together for quite a while and I was the first and only serious relationship he had after his divorce. His ex wife has been involved in a serious relationship off and on since right after they seperated. Between her and her long-time bf's fall outs she has had many bfs who my son has had to stay with, be babysat by, and all sorts of other situations where there were serial SDs.

Carree, I could've sworn I posted a response to your photo but I don't see it there. Beautiful tile with so much character! I am looking into each and every source that everyone has taken the time to post for me. Thank you! Romy, I do like the edge, it's just a little different than what I originally told the fabricator I wanted (ogee stacked on straight edge). He came to template and installed the perimeter counters the next day. At that time he discussed with me his idea for the island edge (it is only slightly different) and I told him to go for it! I will post pics shortly but the ceilings are being sanded and it's quite a mess right now. Hopefully everything but the backsplash will be done by the end of the week and I will post then. You haven't posted final pics of your kitchen yet, have you? Want to make sure I didn't miss it!!

The two people who can give you real advice are your architect friend from Colorado and your builder. Your architect friend can help you determine whether this plan fits your lot and your family and what changes can be made to make it ideal. Your builder can help you determine whether you can afford it. Before you buy plans, have your builder do a rough estimate what this house will cost to build. As we say in Colorado, "you're a bit out over your skis" before you have that information. I think this would be an appealing house on a lot with enough grade to make it a walk-out.