Can I put a timer on my teenage daughter's shower?
ncamy
15 years ago
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wa8b
15 years agoMongoCT
15 years agoRelated Discussions
Can I mix wood finishes in daughter's bathroom?
Comments (1)I thought you were going to be asking about fixture and pulls (handles) finishes. I would say "yes" you can mix metals. As for a dark brown vanity and a white stack of shelves and counter, I'm not sure but maybe since you'd have the white marble top on the dark wood. People mix perimeter cabs and islands in the kitchen and it looks great. Seems like there's not much you "shouldn't" do these days. What's your first impression? Mine would be to have it match, but that's just me. It's been a real struggle to get over my matchy and symmetrical self :o Monica...See MoreI can't stand my step-daughter
Comments (30)I kind of agree with TOS. I was 14 when my dad and stepmom married. I love my stepmom dearly. But if she had stepped into my life and declared that my housekeeping skills, table manners, etiquette, personal hygiene, and manner of dress were all lacking even if it were objectively true, I would not have been receptive. Or if she had stepped in and tried to "share" her interests rather than getting to know me and learning what mine were. I suspect you got off to a bad start with your stepdaughter. I'm sure you meant well, but the mere fact that she told you that you might be able to change her dad, but not her, suggests that what you saw as "help", she saw as "criticism" and as you trying to change who she is. If you are interested in my opinion, I would suggest that you back off. The two of you have decades of dealing with each other ahead of you. Try to start over, and take it more slowly this time. Let the relationship develop naturally between the two of you, rather than try to force it into whatever mold or expectations you had in mind that it should be because you married her father. You may still find that you don't particularly like each other as people, but you may also find that without the expectations or pressures of parent/child issues, you get along just fine. She is spending time with, and taking advice from, mature members of your church congregation? How could this possibly be a bad thing? I understand that your feelings are hurt that she is not seeking *your* advice, but while I am sympathetic, that is your issue not hers. Do you want to be told whose advice you should be taking? I think that for the sake of your future relationship, if you haven't already done so, you need to completely back off from trying to help or advise her and simply let this girl find herself. Then get to know who she turns out to be... with no expectations of what kind of relationship will develop. Just let it happen naturally....See MoreI don't want to live with my fiance's daughter.
Comments (41)I think it's wrong for him to make such a drastic financial decision without your vote too. i think it's wrong for him to make such a life changing decision without you feeling comfortable with it. I think him being a clean freak and not putting his foot down on her disgusting habits is absolutely disrespectful towards you.. especially since you are the one cleaning it up. If he is the absolute love of your life and you think you can't live without him, then i would suggest (and maybe this is crazy) getting a house with a connected inlaw suite situation and putting her in it!Maybe then you can have "family time" when it is right for you. i know i will get criticized on that one.. ok it does sound crazy lol..but this child doesn't seem too concerned with anyone else, does she? Kids aren't stupid. They know what they're doing.If you can afford it, get her counseling and keep her busy with summer programs. In the long run, kids like a little discipline and order, whether they realize it or not. You've got to start all over with this girl and decide to make her new upbringing a project you both agree to or.. well.. RUN!!! The only reason i'm not starting my input out with "RUN!!!" is because i live with my boyfriend and he is the sweetest, warmest, kindest boyfriend ever. However, when his girls disrespect me he puts his foot down because he knows i'm taking on alot. They are over every other weekend and the only reason i am taking on this situation (not wanting kids AT ALL)is because he deserves my love and attention. He is all the things most women crave in a boyfriend and i love him dearly. We have a great relationship, so i put up with life being not what i planned on. Having said that, if we were to break up, THERE IS ABSOLUTELY NO WAY I WOULD DATE SOMEONE WHO HAD KIDS, unless they were adults and out of the house and normal and excessively kind to me. i stopped mid way through your story and said a prayer for you.. and i'm not even religious. If he can't make this situation easier for you, and you still want to see him, then do so, from the luxury of your own clean, dreamy place. If he can't compromise, let him clean up his own mess. We've got to stop supporting men who can't support the things we hold dear....See MoreBoyfriend has a teenage daughter?
Comments (11)I find myself in a 'similiar' position. When I met my husband, he was upfront that he had no children, however he was with a young woman 12 years ago, 16 years now that became pregnant during their relationship. They were in a a rocky relationship. He didn't speak badly of her but just said it wasn't a good relationship and then all of a sudden came a baby. My husband was 23. The young lady was 19. He was with her through most of the pregnancy but close to the end, the relationship could not be saved. He moved out. She called when the baby was born. He went to the hospital and asked for a paternity test. (I don't begrudge him for this, he had walked in on her during the pregnancy with another man). She refused the test. She told him he was not the father. He told her when she changed her mind to contact him. He went on with his life. He called her a few times and was told by her mother they would file harrassment charges against him if he contacted them again. So he left her alone. He worked at the same school district where he had been working for the next 12 years. She never contacted him. Well I did some research (on my own) and I found the girl. I posted about this. She looks identical to my husband. I know in my heart this is his daughter. But at this point in her life, what good would it do to barge in And start using the 'I'm your daddy' phrase? He agreed she does look like him and his grandmother. But he doesn't believe she is his because he really believes her mom would have filed for child support or something. I used to worry about this all the time. What if she contacts us? What about our children? What about our future children? What about my child that is his stepdaughter? And what about my in laws? They were devastated when they found out they weren't really going to have a chance at being grandparents to this baby. As time went on, I have stopped dwelling on the what ifs. Sure this girl may show up one day but I can't waste today worrying about tomorrow. She is almost an adult at this point and who knows what she has been told. What she thinks. Where her mind is and her feelings along with emotions of not having a dad in her life. It's possible she HAS a dad in her life. She might have been raised by another man. It's just not worth dwelling over. I agree with mkroopy-- there are so many other factors that can be involved here. No one knows. My husband is an excellent father. He is an excellent stepfather. But 16 years ago, he didn't know that he could file for a court ordered paternity test. Well honestly I dont think he could. The laws have changed so much. He wasn't in a financial position to wage a custody battle against this you g woman. If it happened today, I have no doubt that he would pursue every legal avenue to make sure that he has the right to be a father to a child that might be his. But 16 years ago? I don't think he knew or had the ambition to go forth on that circumstance. He changed into a different person after that. He lived a more 'careful' life. He didn't put himself into that position again. He grew from that situation and became the man he is today. People grow. People change. Just as they can become 'bad' partners and become our ex's. They can become better people from the mistakes they make. I don't worry anymore about this child that may be my husband's. I can't worry until the day my doorbell rings. Then ... I'll be back posting about adult stepchildren that are distant and hateful :)...See Moreladycfp
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3 years agoBunny Lady
4 months agoJoseph Corlett, LLC
4 months ago
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