Use this as a "getting to know you" meeting. Ask if you can see something recently built. Then you can look to see if things slide through or how detail oriented he is.

We interviewed a builder last week. He was impressive on the phone and with our plans. He listened to me. He had additional suggestions. He had called the client when he was framing and noticed a wonderful view their current design was not making the most of.

Two glaring things came from seeing the house. There were 2 BIG cracks in the concrete basement..he didn't do expansion cuts "because concrete cracks anyway" and he put an $8000 kitchen in a $450K house.

Get references for recent clients. Gotta go or I'd expound on this.

How exciting -- another step closer to your dream house!

I think if you can let the builder know what you are trying to get out of the meeting, he/she might better figure out the best way to help you: "why are you the right builder for my dream house," "should I buy this property for my dream house," "how much do you think it would cost to build my dream house here," all of the above? something else?
I wouldn't be so concerned about coming across as a "silly first time builder," personally I would want more education about what I didn't already know that I should know. Especially since it sounds like you are already talking with an architect who ultimately could become your guide during the building process. When we first met with builders, I would affirmatively say that we had not built a house before, here's what we're thinking about but you are the experts so we want your opinions, and what else should we be asking. The contractors knew that we would be talking to other contractors and using an architect, so there was every incentive for them to be forthcoming and helpful rather than trying to take advantage of any initial lack of knowledge on our part.

At some point, you will want to get references and see completed projects. And, as still_waters points out, the whole "getting to know you" part is very important as you ultimately will be spending lots of time with the one you choose.

Good luck!

Thanks for the comments. :) The meeting went well and I'm pretty sure the reason it did was because I've spent so much time here reading and learning from everyone else!

You didn't say if the contractor will be designing the house and specifying the materials or if you would supply that information either from yourself or from a consultant. Also important is if there will be any independent observation of the work.

That information will have a major impact on what you need to learn about the builders before choosing one.

A lender will want a limit on the construction cost but it can usually be either a Lump Sum contract or a Guaranteed Maximum Price as part of a Cost of the Work Plus a Fee contract but not all bankers and builders are familiar with this type of contract unless they finance and build larger projects.