Dem~ I agree w/ the "perfect as possible" thing. That's why I worded it that way. I don't believe there is such a thing as a 100% perfect marriage. I would just like ours to be as close as it can be... I also don't really care what anybody else thinks as long as *we* are happy... That was just the "dreamer" coming out of me... LOL. I also see your point about the power struggle. I will not be here long enough to see how it will be when I'm in my 40's w/ kids. I know there is only so much of this I can take. I understand that withholding sex is probably not the right strategy, but when I came up w/ that idea, I was lost as to what to do next. Thank you for your kind words... I hope things work out too! Terri~ Again, I don't want to get into this discussion, b/c it really doesn't matter. I honestly don't know anything about the AA or Al-Anon meetings, this is truly my first time dealing w/ a drinker of any sort. I'm looking into this stuff though. Thanks for the info. I now have more to add to the story. I can't believe that our marriage is in such a downward spiral right now! Yesterday evening, around 6 pm, DH called me to tell me he was off work. We talked for about 30 mins. He told me while we were talking that he was sitting in his car waiting for everyone else to leave b/c his car was blocked in by everyone else's. He also said that the rest of the guys were sitting @ the job trailer drinking beer. I told him that I was very proud of him for coming to his car instead of sticking around w/ the other guys. Well, when we got ready to get off the phone, he said he was going to go talk w/ the guys & try to get them to move their cars. I knew when he said "talk w/ the guys" how my night would end up. I told him to just try not to sit there long or the temptation may be too much for him to handle & he agreed & said he wasn't going to drink anything. (NOTE: After I posted on the 9th, we talked/argued that night & he promised me that he wasn't going to drink for the rest of the time he was there - he would be coming home on the 12th (now that's changed, but that's a different story). Anyway, he promised, there was no coercion on my part, he did this all on his own.) Honestly, when he promised this, I didn't trust him, but thought surely he can make it thru 3 nights! NOPE, wrong again! Like I said, we got off the phone at approx. 6:30 pm & he didnt call me back until 11 pm! I havent felt good for the last few days, so I went to bed at about 8:30. I tried calling his cell phone, no answer. I tried again at 9, no answer. I finally called my sister, whose DH works for the same place, she said her DH had called her @ about 8 & was headed home. I was furious! Then, after I laid there, until about 10 pm, I started worrying. *My DH has told me about things being stolen from their jobsite. He said when they moved their camper, they had to argue w/ some guys who thought they, DH & coworkers, were in their spot. He said he thought for a minute that there was going to be a physical fight. He is also very anal now about locking his car, which he rarely worries about, b/c of the area theyre in.* So, I started worrying that, what if he had went home, but gotten jumped by a group of guys or something & was laying there bleeding to death & nobody knew! I know this sounds a little dramatic, but its happened (in the news), and Im also quite the worrier. So, needless to say, I was awake until that phone rang @ 11 pm. I was so mad, after I realized he was OK, b/c I thought it was very inconsiderate of him, knowing that I didnt feel well, knowing I had to work today & get up @ 5 am & also, breaking his promise... Yet again! That particular promise lasted 2 whole days. I told him how upset I was w/ him & that I thought he was being totally inconsiderate. He started making excuses for why he stayed & said that he didnt realize it was so late. I told him to quit making excuses, that he was a big boy & he did it b/c he wanted to & he was only worried about making himself happy & nothing & no one else. He then got belligerent w/ me, so I told him I had to go & hung up. He has called me several times today & tried to be/sound as sweet as possible. I have pretty much given him the cold shoulder. Im still not feeling the greatest & honestly, dont have the energy to argue w/ him or deal w/ this right now. He did say in one of our conversations that when he came home, we were going to work on getting his life straightened up. I want to believe this & see hope in this, but cant. Ive heard similar things so many times before & hes never completely followed thru w/ anything. Sometimes I start seeing that light at the end of the tunnel, only to later realize it was a train! He will go for a while, and then screw everything up in one night. Also, when he said, "when I come home", that just told me he is just putting it off, which means it will never get done. I honestly dont think I can help him. I think this is something he needs to do himself, but I will be beside him every step of the way if thats what it takes. And, again, Im doubtful that this will actually happen, but if hes actually willing to try, other than AA & AlAnon, what else can I do to help? Thanks in advance for any advice!

I sympathize. I have removed more wallpaper than I like to remember. Its a tedious, miserable job. When selling my mothers house for her, she had many rooms with old, peeling wallpaper on walls that had not been primed, it was very difficult to remove. Some rooms we just put 1/4" sheetrock over it, yes, its an extra expense but saves a lot of time and aggravation and then you have a new, clean wall. We did have some adjustments in the wall and doorway trim, but even so, much less hassle than tearing all that paper off. I would not say I wouldn't buy a house that had painted over wallpaper, but I might question what other shortcuts the owners did, instead of doing things the right way. Sorry, no easy choices here - either strip it or sheetrock it. I hate wallpaper and will never use it again!

Hi all thanks for all your responses! A few points: Both sides will be AirBnBs so not concerned about dividing up the heating bill. We will pay it As mentioned we have functional propane wall heaters there, but as best I can tell, the cost per BTU for propane is pretty close to electric based on my prices of $2.25/gallon for propane and 11.5 cents/kWh for electricity. With those prices, am incorrect in my calculations that electric at is within 10% of the cost of propane? wood heat is a no go — between guests the pipes would freeze And I imagine renters would make a mess of burn themselves.

Diane - thanks!! :) That fountain is new this year, and I've really enjoyed it. :) I can't wait to have yellow ramblers on both sides of it! :) Although, I don't really like the comination of yellow and the brown of the wall. Oh well. :) Lilyfinch - no problem!! :) :) Fall is on September 22...so I'll start a new thread then. Your Lucia is adorable!! She's growing up so fast! I love her rainbow unicorn!! And I love how proud she is of her artwork. :) What a sweetie! Your roses look great!! I didn't know that Lavender Crush smells like lemons!! I really want a strongly scented lemon fragrance. Mmmmm. You are a mother of 2 small children. :) You have years ahead of you to make a garden perfect (if that's possible...LOL)...right now it would be great if you could try not to judge yourself. You can't do everything. You are a fantastic mother and have gorgeous roses. Try to enjoy the moments peacefully and happily. I speak from experience...be kind to yourself. :) Titian - that is heartbreaking about the fires, people and animals. And the darling koalas. Hard to imagine the devastation. :( And I hope your Rosie will be okay. But that's good news about you walking so far!! Be careful, LOL, or she may have you starting some marathons! Flowers - I googled, and 10 km is a bit over 6 miles. Oh....already answered. :) Your kids are so athletic! Wow! How did you ruin your knees? I'm worried about that, because my area of Calgary is the foothills...there's no way to walk aaround my house without going down, up, up, up, down, down, up, up, up, up, up...etc. I try to walk 5 km every other day (if the air quality is good...which it's not today...we're in moderate air quality conditions today). I don't want to ruin my knees. Diane - climbing in the smoke? That's like smoking while they're climbing. I like the ice cream diet better...make mine a chocolate with caramel sauce...wait a minute...extra caramel sauce. Wow...you're artistic!!...sculpting, embroidering...hey...aren't you the famous quilter? I forget. ... too many blows to the head. :) Titian - so good that you called about the koalas!!! I'm so proud of you! :) :) They're such defenseless, slow animals that are so habitat specific. That's great news about Rosie! How old is she? My daughter just did an Ancestry.com and she's 53% Swedish. I'm 50% Swedish and 50% Slovakian. They even show that my daughter is from Northern Swedish ancestry. She's been doing family trees and has one date that goes back to 1480. She's done extensive work on all sides of the family, and it totally aligns with the results she got. It's funny that both my husband's and my relatives come from Northern Sweden and here we are years later and reunited the Swedish genes. LOL My husband is Swedish, Norwegian, with a bit of German and NW Europe in there. I think it's so cool! Kristine - wild turkeys!!! How cool is that!! They're so much more functional and "real" than the delicious ones we've made. :) Diane - I would love to see pictures of your quail! We've had quail a few times around my perennial garden. They've never stayed long enough to do any damage because we have dogs. :)