Jennymama, I just wanted to say congratulations on your new quarters! I came to this thread late so have just been reading through the posts...I kind of started chuckling about halfway through at the different "camps" we are all in (those who say "go for it" and those who shudder at the thought of living in a travel trailer for several months, LOL.) I wanted to do that when we were building on our land, and two years later I still think our lives would have been easier in many ways had we done so (we also thought about going ahead and building the shop and putting a small bathroom in it, to live in during the build.) I think you have three really big considerations that will make you very glad you did this. One is that the drive to your dd's school would take up so much of the time that you will need for dealing with things as the house is being built, not to mention time that could be better spent with your younger one. Two hours a day, five days is a week is a LOT of time that you just gave yourself! The two other things will be important to your sanity and comfort over the next few months, and they are the facts that you can put your travel trailer a bit away from construction site for privacy from the comings and goings of the workers (and safety for the kids re: construction materials) and also that you have that big finished shop. If you can keep that for your own stuff and not have it become a repository for storing construction stuff, it will be a real asset as far as storing kids' toys and household goods. You can both have things with you that might take up too much room in the camper, and start to move more of your stuff when it gets closer to time for the move. Good luck with the build and enjoy the outdoors.

roni, I did take Alex to an OT who specializes in sensory integration, but her response was puzzling. She had lots of great ideas, strategies, and explanations for what is happening to Alex, but she did not recommend seeing her for therapy because her motor skills were fine (?). I was so disappointed, because Alex loved going there and I think she had the most to offer us. She had lots of neat exercises and equipment for it as well as ideas for releasing stress. I need to go back and reread her report, as I can't exactly remember how she explained her reason of not taking Alex as a patient. She highly recommended having Alex tested for auditory processing, which we did today. Alex crashed after about an hour and a half, which the audiologist said was super for her age even though we have another half hour or so to finish up. She found some very interesting things, she said--areas of "brilliance" and areas of real struggle, things that affect her comprehension. Beginning next week, the audiologist, our counselor, and a child psychologist are going to be sharing a building (all their offices together with a shared reception area) and working as a team for situations like ours. When our counselor told us she was going to moving into the building, I hadn't realized what she meant! We got to see the picture they took of Alex the first time she went in for audiology when she was only 3, which was fun. We go back to finish up the testing on July 1, so we won't know any details until then. Anyway, I am now thinking the OT may have told us to first get the auditory processing testing done as she very much felt there was an issue there. Maybe she could join our "team"! Her office is right next door! But I do remember her telling us she couldn't really do much for Alex since her eye/hand and coordination difficulties do not stem from a motor skills problem. I don't understand what that means. If you have problems, why does it matter whether they are the result of a processing disorder or a motor skills (physical as opposed to neurological?) problem. I would think an OT would deal with both, particularly one who specializes in sensory integration therapy. I really appreciate what you wrote here: If her symptoms have some physical cause behind them, all the counseling in the world won't help. I think you're right on target! After today, though, I am hoping it might be a good component in a multi-faceted approach. Sheesh, that sounded hoity-toity! I mean, I like the idea of counseling much better when it's paired with the other specialties and the therapy is shared. Paige, how wonderful to have a fun summer ahead!! I'm very glad for you. After my first marriage broke up, I had a very great fear of men and swore I would never let anyone get close. I didn't, and although I can't be too sad since I got my wonderful dh by waiting (15 years), I still spent all the years of my older children's upbringing alone. In retrospect, I don't think it was very healthy for them as neither seems to be able to form close relationships with the opposite sex. I'm afraid my suspicion and fear is a legacy I've left them, sigh. They are 26 and 28 now so I guess there is still plenty of time, since it took me half my life :)

I love you guys!! Thank you so much for the sage advice and the virtual shoulders to lean on. Today I called my son and told him I was coming over to help him deep clean his house. I guess I left my cell phone at home, cuz DH had to text DS to get in touch with me. How liberating that was!! I worked really hard at DS's house, but he worked along side me and was wonderful company, so even tho I'm sore and tired, it was a good day. DS was VERY appreciative of me being there to help him and I liked doing it for him. I'm going to try to talk to DH tonight. He has a tendency to avoid conflict, and while I don't want conflict, I DO need him to hear me. DH has been self employed for years, just recently his business (more like a hobby income the last year or so) has just about come to a standstill. The things he makes are not a necessity item, so he's not bringing in the $$ like before. We can basically only count on my income...which is plenty for us to live comfortably on, but not where we can still live like we do and support another person. DH's income was for the fun stuff and extras for the most part. Rose...your DH sounds so much like mine. When my SS lived with us, it was horrible, too. He was much like yours and when he finally left our house for good, it was like a weight off my shoulders. But he almost tore us apart. My DH has always had a tendency to put his family ahead of me. For the most part, I dealt with it, but they've intruded into our life for the past couple years to the point where I can't take it any more. We've got an empty nest, and I want to enjoy it. We were both parents when we met, so we never had time alone together until the kids were grown. We were starting to have fun together when MIL became a pretty much every day fixture in our lives. She started backing off after I complained to DH, and it was ok, but now BIL is here. I'm just not sure of his situation. MIL said that his wife told her she does not want to reconcile. She wants to be friends with him, she loves him but is not in love...blahblah. He's holding on to the idea that they're going to reconcile. He goes over to her place at least once a week and stays there, but apparently stays on the sofa, and the other day he said he had to sleep on the floor because grandkids or something were there. Yesterday he told me he has an interview at a gym, I asked him about it and it's a fly-by-night outfit (he's a certified personal trainer) and he's been talking alot about how unhappy he is at his job (he works in retail and has a decent job w/bennies). This is his history, he's never worked at a job longer than 2 years, and he's just about past that time now, so he's ready to move on. DH said BIL is broke all the time, likely because he's giving his wife the $$, and that is again typical of him. So I'm not sure how the money thing will work. But frankly, it's not my problem!! The holiday thing...when my Dad was alive, he and my DH did not get along. My DH made every excuse in the book not to spend holidays at my parents, so to avoid the fight with him, and the tension if they were all together, I'd take the kids to my folks and he'd stay with his kid. It made me angry, but I chose the lesser of 2 evils. Later, we noticed a trend, DH would get pouty and start picking fights shortly before holidays. I finally figured it out, that he didn't want to spend time with my family and holidays always included them. His family was not nearby and when they were, they wouldn't come...they didn't want to celebrate. So once I figured out his M.O., I realized it wasn't ME, it was him...and I wouldn't let him get his way. He would pitch a fit and try to get out of events, but I'd make him participate. And what do you know, he always enjoyed himself! But I also learned that he;d bug out early, so I got used to it. He's very shy and not comfortable around people he's not really used to. I'm the opposite, I am gregarious and love to socialize. Well, this year, our DD who was married last year said she would like to host Thanksgiving at her house and have her in-laws and her family together. I am thrilled and am excited to do this with her, but as soon as DH found out (he read the email from DD) he said he was spending T'giving with his Mom. He is extremely uncomfortable about DD's in-laws, he only met them the first time at the rehearsal dinner, and barely spoke with them during the wedding weekend. So he's going to try everything he can to try to get out of going. I'm not going to say a word to him about it...I thought about trying to cajole him, but I'm going to let it be up to my kids to make him understand how disappointed they'll be if he doesn't spend time with them because he's shy and being a baby. But now, with BIL here, or at least in the proximity, he'll find every excuse, and likely his mother will want her boys over to her house. Anyway, it's just drama that I do not want to contend with, and honestly, I thought it was all over with...that DH had moved on, because every year I host a big Christmas party with lots of people and he enjoys it. It's almost like he's taken 3 giant steps back now that his brother is here every day. So the more I think about it, the more I think I need to get DH alone...sit him down and lay it out. I've already made up my mind that I WILL leave him if his mother ever has to come live with us!

It's so moving to read everyone's reminiscences, especially from those who have mentioned the loss of a life partner. My husband shares my house passion, and he too poured heart & soul into them, plus the bulk of the hard labor (and suffered the most wasp stings). I look back on the 3 houses we've owned and feel enormous gratification for our dual effort. But I'm amazed at the bond we have for each other that's somehow expressed in fixing up those homes. Is that strange? Does anybody else think this way too? I can't think of our houses without thinking of my love for my husband. It speaks volumes that we've never, ever argued over fixing up a house, not even a small conflict. We are very different people in many ways, but we're totally on the same page when it comes to the house. It's a shared creative outlet, I guess. So the stories from those of you who moved on after the loss of your loved ones hit me a little hard. Too difficult to think about. We know people who have a passion for travel. They save every penny so they can spend it on an exotic trip, even to the point of living in a simple, plain house & buying used items. Their lives sound glamorous and exciting, in a way, since they've traveled the world & have tales to tell. I like to travel too, but if I have a choice, if I have extra money, I'd rather spend it on house improvement/beautification. Travel memories fade, & you get tired of seeing the same old pictures. But house improvements reward every day for years. Fun2BHere's comment that she's moved too frequently to be attached to any house is fascinating and made me laugh a little too. The irony! Here is our 2nd home, a 1956 gem in NOLA that had gone into disrepair. We bought it in 1988 after it had sat empty for 3 years. It was built by a family that owned a stone & tile store. The house had fabulous slate floors (under thick layers of old wax) and wonderful tile & tilework in the kitchen & baths. A strong MCM design style inside, it had built-ins galore for amazing storage, & a well-designed kitchen (but dog scratches on the cabinets). The aluminum windows were shot; they flapped in a strong breeze had to be replaced. We were lucky that MCM design was way out of style back then; nobody else wanted this dated, dirty fixer-upper. I loved the style as a child, though, and was thrilled to get the house. We had yet to replace the big front windows, and my dream was to put a green tile roof on it (flat tiles, not barrel -- more contemporary). But a sudden job change yanked us to CT, and perhaps it's just as well, because Katrina flooded the home 9 years later. The owner abandoned the house. This is 2 years post-Katrina: A young Russian couple bought it a few years ago & fixed it up. They stripped the MCM elements out, but I'm not sure they were salvageable anyway. They were kind enough to let my son tour the house & take pictures when he was back visiting friends. It looks a little Home Depot on the inside now, but I'm happy the house is once again loved and that they have a comfortable house in a great neighborhood to raise their growing family.