We are almost done GC'ing our build, approximately 2800 square feet, plus garage. We are in the construction industry and know all of our subcontractors. My husband is a plumber, we get discounted piping and plumbing fixtures and our plumbing still ended up costing about $12,000. Electrical was $20,000, not including light fixtures (pendants, sconces, etc.) but DID include recessed cans. Windows were just about $5,000. We did A LOT of the work ourselves. I saved almost $70,000 overall. I shopped around like crazy and got great prices/bids.

I can almost guarantee you your "allowances" are the bare bones. No grids on your windows, standard tub, laminate floors, etc. Which is fine IF that' what you want. If you want something different, you need to specify that and see it in writing on your allowance sheet.

Oh they absolutely have to be the bare bones. He said the windows were low E, argon gas with grids. I asked if they were Anderson or Pella and he said no. So, I'm doing some footwork over the next week. If I bring my plans to lumber yards, big box places, will they give me estimates? Excuse my stupidity on this topic. I feel I've learned MUCHO over the years on this site, but this part - probably the most important - I need more schooling. :)

Find another builder. His proposal should have included the make and model of the windows.

That is such a low ball bid, I don't even know if I'd give him a second chance at anything. Your project will end up costing you at a minimum double that, and probably triple. Remodeled space is always more expensive than new construction by at least double, sometimes more. It depends on what has to be brought up to code, and also on the complexities of tying the old to the new. Average kitchen remodels in the US are around 30K, and baths 12K. 9K for the kitchen won't even get you builder's grade materials.

Bottom line is, if I wanted to redo/remake that much of an old house, I'd consider doing a teardown or moving. YOu'll be dollars ahead most of the time. Your project will likely really have numbers in the 300K+ range for just above builder's grade, and that's only if you're not in an expensive labor market. For that additional money, there is a LOT of real estate on the market right now that you won't have to live through the stress and hassle of a remodel.

Breaking the job up is not attractive to any builder unless he is a personal friend and even then it would cost him to do it.

Is your dad a general contractor? If so, he shouldn't be too too old to handle the whole project if he has good help and good health. Of course if he has other commitments that wouldn't be such a good idea. He's only a year older than I and no one seems to mind that I'm working every day.

"Maybe I should just have the builder take the house to sheetrock and we'll finish the rest."

Have your dad oversee the project up to drywall hanging and finishing as a "quality control" guy. He would be invaluable overseeing the work that is being done by the subs that isn't always done, but should be, by a builder. He could pop in now and then especially at the days end to "inspect". After that, have your dad take over for the finish work part of the show.

I doubled many of my allowances and that was pretty much accurate.

He is a good friend, but...

Actually, I think he's doing most of the work himself, because of the lack of work in this economic state our country is in.

These allowances haven't been written up in a contract yet, but I will question how we'll even come close to those. I guess that's the point of low bids. You'll almost never come in under.

I wanted my dad to be the GC, but I think my husband feels like he wants to help out our friend in these tough economic times.

As far as moving, we've been through that conversation many times. Here's the deal...we bought our home in 2000 for it's location. We're in a river community. We have a decent amount of land, and as my realtor has always said, we'll never lose on anything we do to our home. We put a pool in back in 2002, and we would definitely want another one if we bought another house or built new. We are both teachers in our town and I work about 1/2 mile from my work and my 3 children's school and my husband is about 2 miles from his. Our neighbors are the best. We're very close-knit. We are in NJ, and in our area there isn't any land we'd be interested in for sale. We are close to things and yet secluded. Anytime I discussed moving in the past, people would tell us we're nuts and they wished they lived in our neighborhood. I've looked around at homes for sale on line and anything I would consider is about 380k and needs to be updated which will be even more $. I know we'll go over our allowances, the question is how much.

I hate to say it but every time I have tried to help out a friend in economic trouble it has cost me money, some only $5,000 or $6,000 and one $40,000. Take care of your own family first. It's simple, people in financial trouble can't pay all of their debts so their friends get stiffed first.

the more specific you are with the contract- and the more homework you do upfront- will minimize discussions about insufficient allowances down the road. pick out the light fixtures now, find a flooring brand, pick a window company, etc.