You have to have a schedule and you have to adhere to it as best you're able. Sounds really draconian, but it isn't. It's the schedule that will keep an elderly person on course (esp. if they are losing mental capability), allow you to accomplish that which you must do, AND schedule help/respite. Help/respite. You must have this. Trust me on this. I have had Mum with me for nearly 3 years now. For fully 2 of them I did it alone. After her stroke I knew she was no longer able to bathe alone. I hired a woman to come in thrice weekly and assist her. Smartest thing I've done in a long time! I don't have to do it, it accords Mum some privacy, and she has another person with whom to interact. I calmly told my brother he had to step up to the plate and do some caregiving, too. It wasn't fair that I gave up my former life and he had to give up nothing. He now takes her for a month at a time; usually every 2-3 months. I'm OK with that arrangement; but know if he scheduled a "bath lady" it would be easier for him to take her more frequently. Try to incorporate them into your daily errands. I pack Mum into the car (along with the dog) and she "rides shotgun". She is perfectly happy to go for a ride, wait in the car in the sunshine while I dash into one place or another... sometimes she wants to go in, too... so I usually allot enough time. If I haven't, I simply say, "No" and explain why. I will grab her a "treat" if she must wait in the car. I make sure we get out to do something "fun" at the next opportunity. It takes practice to venture out with an elderly, infirm person. You will learn the places that easy to access, have comfortable bathrooms, have help that is willing to move slowly and patiently with the elderly. Mum goes every month for a shampoo/haircut/manicure. The woman is a delight; warm, patient, and gives Mum her undivided attention. We are "regulars" at several establishments BECAUSE they are willing to make time for a slow, old woman. It's hard work; not always fun. I miss my freedom terribly, if you want to know the truth. But I can do this and feel it is important for me to do it. She ain't gonna live forever, afterall. (Hi Connie!)

As mentioned above, look into moving her - even if it's just on a temporary basis - to a long term care facility. You indicated this was out of the question, but I'd line up some ducks in the event you're forced to move your Mother because of her advancing behaviors. Change, etc. is hard on Alzheimer's victims, but it seems she has gone beyond what her current "assisted" living situation can provide. When her number comes up for the placement of choice, make another move. Believe me, it's done all the time and this is a situation facilities are well familiar with - so they don't balk at it, despite what you may have been led to believe. In the meantime, do what you can when you visit. Teeth, hearing aids, glasses all become problematic. As does showering and bathing - and what harm is done by once a week bathing? She will most likely have a once a week bathing schedule in any Long Term Care facility. Right now it's easier to give in to your Mother because one person taking care of 14 residents is totally inadequate. If she's getting mouth sores, a trip to the dentist might be in order to get that cleared up. Have him write down a list of very simple instructions on how to take care of her dentures - many Alzheimer's victims will pay more attention to a "professional" telling them something than a family member etc. and are still quite capable of following simple written instructions. That might save her from future discomfort since mouth problems can lead to other serious health problems. I'll say a prayer for you that #6 comes up in short order. But in the meantime, you'll have to be pro-active. You're your Mother's best advocate.

My heart goes out to you. After being a caregiver, it's very difficult to move on. I have been caregiver for my mom and little brother who is handicapped. My dh says he is very worried about what I will do when my mom passes. While it will be a blessing for her as she prays for death, there is loss in so many ways. I pray that you can move on, keep your wonderful memories and move more and more toward celebrating her life instead of grieving over her death. Easy to say, I know but maybe doing things that she enjoyed, seeing things she liked etc will help you. God Bless

Might have to talk to clients dr. & have the dr. tell family it is too disruptive. Are they at the house all the time or off running around(interested in mom's welfare or free lodging so they can run around town) I can see concerned daughter coming to be sure mom is well taken care of but this doesn't sound much like it. Do the relatives come & buy groceries, make out checks, take mom to dr. etc. If they aren't doing any of that, dr should know to stop the disruption! If they are than more difficult to deal with them, doesn't someone have power of attorney?