I didn't know you could volunteer either. In NYC they call prospective jurors in huge batches -- up to 500 at the beginning of a case -- and the voir dire can take three days to sort out twelve eligible people. If you are not picked you are issued a "thanks for serving" certificate, just for sitting in a room for three days. You must bring water, snacks, something to read; something to do (fiber crafts are ideal) or listen to helps. I've served on two criminal cases and one civil case in Brooklyn. I was sequestered once. We worked until 8 pm hearing all sorts of violent things (double murder, gang-related). Every one of us arrived at breakfast the next morning tired out from nightmares we'd had that night. After we made our decision and were released the next day, not one of us said no thanks when it was suggested we go out for drinks even though it was 11 in the morning. Even though that trial was a difficult one to serve in, I still think it was important that I served. I can still feel the appreciation that experience instilled in me for the kind of life my parents provided for me and that I then provided for myself in this city where a lot of people are deprived of safety, wise guidance, love, and opportunity.

>>I'm curious, should I stop watering completely, or should it be misted once every few days? Do what you can to keep the sphagnum moist, but not soaking wet. The idea is to allow the water to continuously evaporate from the sphagnum and provide immediate humidity to the backbulbs. If the sphag feels crispy, then it is too dry. If it gets too wet however, then the backbulb could rot. That is why for the backbulb pots, I use different layers. Bottom layer (3/4th of the total height): either medium orchid bark or perlite. Top layer (1/4) of the total height: sphagnum moss. This way, I can water the backbulb pots with the same watering nozzle as the other plants. The sphag absorbs what it can, and any excess water flows down through the orchid bark and eventually out of the pot. I find that 100% sphag in a pot gets too wet for my preference. Using perlite as your bottom layer, combined with a plastic pot will make the pot top-heavy. So when I use perlite as the bottom layer, I use clay pots to keep the whole thing stable. Another benefit of using orchid bark as the bottom layer: Once the backbulb develops roots, all I need to do is gradually remove the amount of sphagnum moss on the pot as the roots grow directly into the orchid bark mix. One all the sphag has been removed, I top off the pot with more orchid bark. No need to repot the plant once they roots grow. Unless you really prefer to transfer them to another pot or mount them.

Dear Watergal & Blueheron: Thanks for your replys and constructive suggestions, they are all good ideas. The Griefshare group has done alot of good and I also am attending a "Christianity 101" course at my local church. Since I have drawn so much from the lord through prayer in these very tough times I feel I should try and get to know him more. These do wonders while particiating but after they are over it's back to reality. I have 4 things that after so much time in grief that are giving me alot of trouble: I now feel alittle uncertain about having mom and brother cremated and keeping their cremains since reading about how it's not totally an accepted Christian method I also worry about the fact that since my brother Michael went into a coma all of a sudden and never came out of it if he had a chance to profess his faith. After all we weren't church goers because we were both so involved in trying to follow his meds and keep ahead of this disease plus dealing with all the specialists on the transplant team but I know he had strong faith because even in his condition he never complained or showed any fear of dying, which amazes me now that I think about it. I could never be that strong and not use my brother for a shoulder. I also remember when he got really bad and he lost ability to make it to the bathroom and before I got use to the extra duty and got a system down, I made some remarks to the effect of "wow I sure hope this doesn't last very long". He got such a sad look on his face like that remark made him lose what little self respect he had left. And even though I told him shortly after I didn't mean it and after getting use to it it wasn't that bad at all brother and I was just freaking out at first from the shock of the whole thing. He then said "don't you appologize because I don't want to be this way and the tougher you are on me the more it will push me to do all I can". It wasn't but a couple of hours after that he started to go into his coma and looking back I should've had him in the car and gotten him to the hospital whether he had control or not instead of waiting, and these things.. The Griefshare group puts alot of emphasis on how harmful it is for us to dwell on the guilt and there are always things we will remember that we should've done different but we must accept the fact and have faith that it was the Lords decision and our loved ones time, but even knowing that I still have trouble. I guess I saw my brother get overlooked so much in this life by the transplant team and his local hepatologist that I hope the Lord has welcomed him into heaven where Michael will finally be at peace without any pain and reunited with Mom, Dad, and Grandma. It shows if my faith were strong I would already believe this to be true and not be worying about these things. But putting this all into words has helped me out and I thank you both for taking the time and interest to help Thanks and bless You both Mark

Dear Pooh, It has been a long time since I have posted on Garden Web; but, when I learned your news, I just had to be in touch. Hearing your name only brought back fond feelings. You were always one of the "good guys" who always was there to help anyone in need of computer help. You always kept the best lists of computer programs, help lists and tips, etc. You were patient with beginners and you tried to make all of our days brighter with your games, jokes and just plain ol' fashioned southern humor. To the last day that Jay Leno retired, whenever I would see his "Jay Walk", I would still think of you as I remembered how you loved watching that part of the show and having some laughs with you talking about the crazy people who participated. It is still hard to believe; but, Jay Leno still swears that the people were for real and not actors. We all enjoyed reading about Cindy and the kids....which, I guess by now aren't kids anymore. I am really sorry that you are once again being dealt a bad hand. Please know that after all these years you are not forgotten and still beloved by the people on THS....sorry, to me it will always be Spike and THS! lol! To say you are in "all of our thoughts and prayers" is a given.... and I do still believe in miracles. We have been down this path with you a long time ago and you did come through. I have requested a candle be lit for you in the Shrine of St. Anthony for a return of good health. It will stay lit for you for five days. St. Anthony is a good listener ;) We must accept finite disappointment, but never lose infinite hope. -- Martin Luther King, Jr. -- Rose