Unless he is going to stay on it for life, I would NOT recommend Paxil. I was on it for depression, and while it helped that, it completely zapped my sex drive. And when I did have sex, it was like I was numb - not exactly satisfying. When I tried to get OFF Paxil, it was awful. I had taper down very, very slowly over a period of a month or so, or else my brain would get these weird and uncomfortable feelings, like electrical jolts. At the end I was cutting the pills into 1/8ths, no easy feat. Many, many other people have had the same problem getting off of Paxil. Some people resort to getting liquid Paxil during their attempt to taper, since it is easier to measure the small amounts. There are websites devoted to it, and there have been lawsuits. On the other hand, my friend who was on it did not have a problem. Go figure. I switched to Wellbutrin, and it is great. No side effects, and I even went 4 days without it once (stupid pharmacy and doc) with no problem. With Paxil, I skipped a day once, simply forgot to take it, and by the next day I was already feeling those weird brain things. For awhile after I finally got off of it, probably 4 - 6 months, I was getting just horrendous instant headaches, um, in bed. It was like flicking a light switch - one second I was fine, then the next, BANG, a crushing pain in my head. (sorry if that is TMI, but I wouldn't wish the withdrawals and lingering side effects on anyone.) And sorry for the hijack. I wish you luck and success with your hoarder. At least he is willing to try, that is a good sign. Paxil Withdrawal Paxil Withdrawal Forum

Why he's asking you to decide if you want "kitchen cabinets" versus "Brookhaven Cabinets in Cream with a Chocolate Glaze" is so that each bidder can bid out Brookhaven Cabinets exactly as you want them. If you were not specific in your bid, one bidder may price for particleboard boxes with cardboard doors while another may price it out with a better cabinet. An exaggeration? Yes. Now you don't necessarily have to know exactly what kind of cabinet pull you want, and you don't necessarily have to decide right now on the light or dark finish on your hand-distressed pecan flooring... But what you need to plan for is at least a ballpark number for these items. If you walk through the hardware store and are drawn to the $15 cabinet pulls, then in the scope let them know that your budget is $15 per pull. The flooring? Know that the Pecan flooring is $10 a sqft and that it's a nail-down flooring (versus float or glue) so they can bid accordingly. You've probably recognized these as "allowances". An allowance for cabinet hardware, and allowance for flooring. But what also needs to be accounted for is not just the price of the material, but the price for labor to install and the price to finish them if applicable. That's why you need to let them know that the Pecan flooring will be glue own, or floating, or nail-down, and that it'll be prefinished or finished on site. Where budgets go wrong is in allowances that are inadequate to get the job done. A budget may allow for "$6 per sqft for hardwood flooring", a homeowner may then go to a store and see really nice unfinished hardwood for $5 a sqft and specify that. They're thrilled that they just saved $1 a foot, or $2000 in their 2000 sqft house. But what wasn't mentioned is that it costs $2.50 a sqft to install the flooring and $2 a sqft to sand, stain, and finish the flooring. So while $6 a foot was budgeted, the homeowner is now on the hook for $9.50 a sqft. They are now 2000 times $3.50, or $7000 over budget. A prefinished hardwood can save some steps. So if you choose generic "hardwood flooring" in your spec sheet, the builder will come up with a number. When you sign the contract, you agree to his number. When you find that the number is inadquate, you're on the hook for the overage. So when you can be as specific as you can. Name a specific product like "Jeanar Hand Distressed Pecan Flooring, #12345, Bright Pink stain with Satin Finish". Being that specific requires the bidder to price the product, the installation, and the finishing methods into his bid. If you can't be that specific then name a generic type of flooring product "unfinished 3/4 strip hardwood, material cost $6 per sqft, nailed installation, to be sanded, stained, and sealed with 3 coats of stain polyurethane on-site". With that one, you're on the hook for meeting the $6 per foot, but the builder is on the hook for properly bidding the installation and finishing of the flooring. If you find a product that cost $4 a sqft, you just saved yourself $2 a foot, you can pocket it or spend it elsewhere. Other allowances go under a flat dollar number such as "$8000 for hardwood flooring". Again, that needs to be broken down into real costing. If you have a 2000 sqft house, that's $4 a sqft for material, installation, and finishing. Even buying remnants at Lumber Liquidators will put you over budget once you factor in installation and finishing. You don't have to make all your decisions now, but you need to decide on champagne or beer material costs, as well as if you'll drink it out of a paper cup or instead from leaded crystal. Translation? Have a clue as to your material costs, as well as how much labor is involved in installing and finishing those materials. The more specific you are, the more accurate your proposals will be, and the more you're protecting yourself from busting the budget. Think of it this way: The best way you can protect yourself is by biing accurate on your material costs. The builder needs to protect himself by accurately bidding the the installation and finishing costs. The more vague the contract is, the more risk you assume. You can order the materials yourself. But that puts you on the hook for them, it's your responsibility to have things available as the subs need them. If they are not there, meaning the faucet that you ordered is backordered, you are now responsible (moneywise) for bringing the plumber back to your house to install the wayward faucet when it finally shows up. You order the faucet but you were not aware of the installation package that had to be ordered along with it? Your responsibility. Materials get stolen from the construction site? Your responsibility. So you'll simply be accepting responsibility for the materials. If all goes well, you can indeed save money. If something gets screwed up, it comes out of your purse. Is this info along the lines of what you were asking? Mongo

I had a bunch of errands to run today so I hit a few home stores like Pottery Barn, Williams-Sonoma, Sur la Table, Tuesday Morning and Crate & Barrel while I was out. Most had a mix of Christmas and Thanksgiving. I stopped by our wholesale florist supply for ribbon and saw tons of Christmas decor. In fact, I was feeling a bit overwhelmed by the time I left. I love Christmas and pretty much have it in the back of my mind all year long, but I don't even go in the stores after Thanksgiving. So, early holiday displays don't bother me.

The DC area had a couple of freakishly warm 60 degree days this week, now we're back to another Arctic cold snap. The sun rises at 7:30 as I'm headed to work and sets at 4:30 as I'm driving home. Yeah, January's a rough month for gardeners. My perennials that are supposedly evergreen in zone 7 look nasty - brownish, tattered foliage or "mush" from that last single digit cold spell. The dwarf conifers are lookin' great. Other evergreen shrubs not so much: aucuba, mahonia, camellias and some nandina look burned. The azaleas and some boxwoods are bronzy. So on a weekend day when I can bundle up and visit my garden, what cheers me? The dwarf conifers, the hollies, the autumn ferns, mosses and a lone euphorbia look happy. Should I rely on perennials for winter interest during a season when I only see my garden for a few hours each week? Nah, I pass January by scheduling lots of hours at work and doing volunteer work so I'm occupied out in the world. My neighbor goes on a cruise each January, that's her coping strategy. If your petasites are making you happy Heruga, I salute you. I hope snow doesn't cover them & end the show.