camp, I didn't realize it either until researching online and on gardenweb. "What are these cabbage lopers of which you speak?" (what the heck is a loper?) ... OHHHHHH, those gross lil green caterpillars I keep seeing. Gotcha! This has been fun to read everyone's input. There are too many gems to point them out individually, but I've learned that not only are garden bloggers really nice and helpful (per thyme2garden) but they are pretty funny, too! It's too bad I try to share the humor with my non-gardening friends and family ... (um, ok, everyone not on here!) and they give me the blank "I don't get it," stare. Such is life. I highly recommend the archived "so you want to grow a gardenia" thread... I read that a few months ago and was CRYING it was so funny. (I didn't even know what a gardenia WAS until that thread.) And it has given me the courage to venture into growing flowers this coming year ... once I make the lasagna beds this fall for spring ... and build a few more trellises ... and flip my compost ... and ask the restaurant down the street for coffee grounds ... and.. and.. and.. :P Oh, btw. The tomatoes are starting (in case anyone was troubled by my plethora of non-ripening tomatoes.) ... The gardening gods like me (at the moment ;) ). Thanks again everyone for sharing - Veronica

Thanks again, everyone. I like hearing about the different cultural "tips" as well! :) Since noone has mentioned the cucumber thing... I know, I've got cukes on the brain right now... About 15 years ago I read in Gourmet Magazine about a technique of cutting cucumbers that decreases the bitterness. I always do this now and hadn't thought of it, as a tip or tale, until I just ran across someone mentioning it on the veg forum. Anyway, what you do is cut the end off of the cuke, then rub the cut piece against the whole cuke in a vigorous circular motion until you have a foamy substance. Cut another narrow slice off of the same end to remove the foam. Repeat on the other side. This really seems to work for me. I've had very few bitter cukes and when I have it is usually when I've not worked it up into a foam. Another thing, which I wonder about... My mother always says that my paternal grandmother said to plant beans in the DARK of the moon. That seems strange to me because beans are an above ground crop (if you follow the whole Farmer's Almanac thing). But, it does leave me to wonder if it fixes nitrogen in the soil better or something? Has anyone else ever heard this? I, for one, cannot grow beans to save my life. If they survive they produce very few. Next year I'll pay attention to the moon. Thanks again, everyone for sharing.

Thanks to many of you, my square foot garden beds were fabulous this year! That full compost mix to fill them worked wonders. Heck, I even built another 4 x 8 bed on the back driveway to put more bush beans in. I guess the things I've learned this year: - Cauliflower isn't worth the time, effort, and space in the garden for the produce it makes. The broccoli produced much more out of the same number of plants. - I won't plant any more peas in the garden. They take too long to pick and after we froze them and thawed to use, the fibers were pretty bad on the sides of the peas (I used the Dwarf Grey Sugar peas). Green beans take much less time to pick and there is double the pounds of green beans. - I will plant more cherry tomatoes. I planted four last year and we were carrying gallon buckets of them out of the garden. This year, something happened with the tomatoes where all the leaves were dying from the bottom up and stems dying. Out of the two planted, we've maybe got a pound of them. - I will plant more Best Boy tomatoes. They tomatoes were between 8 and 12 ounces and were very meaty. Heck, even the Roma tomatoes planted weren't as meaty as the Best Boy tomatoes. - I will start cucumbers indoors first and then transplant. Out of three each of Marketmore 76 and Burpee Picklers, only one of each came up. In addition, I will only plant the Burpee Picklers next year as they seem to be crisper, have little to no seeds, and don't go bad as quickly (we use them mostly for making pickles - but can also be eaten fresh). - I may give up the idea of using a potato box because only one of the four potato plants survived (this may have been my fault with covering them too quickly). I'll know what to do next year after I see if any good-sized potatoes are dug up. - I will only plant the yellow onion variety instead of white onions. There was a harvest of ten less yellow ions versus white onions and they both weighed in the same (meaning the yellow onions grew larger). - Radishes simply cannot tolerate any kind of shade. I planted them between the onions and peas and out of 150+ planted, maybe only 25 were worth using. Things learned from prior gardening experiences: - Compost mix works much better than just putting plants in the ground not knowing what it is composed of. - Square foot gardening is MUCH easier, takes less time, and produces much better results. ---- The garden this year has been fantastic! We've pulled almost two dozen bell peppers so far (with at least three dozen left to pick on the eight plants). We've pulled well over 20 pounds of green beans from about 80 plants and more is still on the way with the newly made container holding another 50 plants (we snap em and then freeze them immediately). After spending a lot of time sifting the compost and make it fine to put in a bed, carrots were placed in there and we netted 18 pounds of carrots. Peas left more to be desired - although we did get about 11 pounds from them. We just found that either by cooking them first and then freezing - or just by freezing without the cooking - that the string-type fibers make eating the peas useless. Here is a link that might be useful: BsnTech Garden

the best advice I can give is: STOP caring! Not that I would say don't care about your SS. Just stop caring what he thinks. Every time you go out of your way to please him and he craps on it, he is in control and has the power. Take your power back. Learn to say "oh well, sorry you don't like it." and move on. I wouldn't run out and buy him ANYTHING as long as he treats you that way. "Oh, your dad can take care of it...." and not worry when dad lets him down. I'll give two examples from my family: SD was 5 when I met her. She didn't have a birthday party when she turned 6 or 7. When she was about to turn 8, I suggested to DH that if BM wasn't going to throw her a party, maybe he could. DH called BM and right away, BM said she had plans for a party. They agreed to split the cost.. yadayadayada. It got ugly when DH put the brakes on the cost, BM whined that he wasn't paying enough... big fight... result: custody battle. So, SD had a party at a bowling alley on her 8th birthday with BM and DH at opposite sides of the room scowling at each other and nobody from school showed up.. BM's mom didn't go and it was less than pleasant. I felt terrible. So, before SD turned 9, BM had met BF and moved away and her 9th birthday was approaching. DH had already decided no more joint parties. BM could have SD on her birthday but chose not to, saying she'll make her a party the next weekend. I decided to go all out. She invited all the kids in her class (about a third showed up), we had a tent with a ton of balloons, castle bounce house, popcorn machine, and the cake I made looked like a three tier wedding cake with butterflies and roses. (it was a princess party) and she was truly a princess that day. She had a blast! THAT DAY.... The next day, she reverted back to not talking to me.. not looking at me.. and I felt she was ungrateful and unappreciative... I felt a little used. She had been so chummy with me as we planned the party, shopped for everything and I stayed up three nights baking & decorating her cake... got up at 5am to start filling balloons, etc. and then she wouldn't even talk to me? So, I had to let it go. The reason I threw such a lavish party was because I felt she had been shortchanged the last few years.... and of course, it probably wasn't MY place to step in and try to make up for it. I guess I also hoped it would be a bonding experience for us.... to help us get along better. I know her mom was laying guilt on her, telling her how I refused to invite her and she couldn't be there so I'm sure that had a lot to do with SD treating me that way. (to make matters worse, the following weekend when her mom was supposed to make her a party, her mom left her with her boyfriends parents and went out... no party with mom. The boyfriends parents sang happy birthday and gave her some cake. She was very upset by that) Anyways, I vowed to not make a party for her this year. (not my kid, not my problem... because her attitude continued for a while) As her 10th birthday approached, I asked DH if he was doing anything... no. I kinda made him feel a little guilty so he took her to pizza with his parents and I made her a small cake. She was supposed to be with her mom on her actual birthday so DH put BM on the spot and she agreed to take SD. Well, she sent her mom and I've already posted about how that turned out. She spent the day calling & texting us and trying to start a fight, instead of actually celebrating with her daughter. She left at 4pm to go back home when SD expected to be with her until 8pm... they did nothing BM had promised. SD came home in tears. I think it made her think about all I do for her. I don't know if she thought about the party I made her but I noticed a difference in her attitude with me. I don't think she would have ever had the opportunity to appreciate me in any way if I didn't back off and let her experience that. It was tough and sometimes I want to jump in and figure out a way to make her like me... I finally realized it will never happen as long as I am trying. It has to be HER idea, not mine. My second example is my dad's relationship with my stepmom's biological daughter. My dad knew her before he knew my stepmom because she used to be my younger sister's best friend in high school. He would do favors for her, like drive her home from work because she would want to hitch hike at 16. After he married her mom, he treated her like his own daughter. For 22 years, he did more for her than her biological father, who treated her like crap. When her mom had an aneurysm, my dad continued to help her and her family... treated her entire family to a trip to Disneyland. I guess the day her mom had the aneurysm, she was planning to leave the next day to Disney with her family and they had to cancel the trip. A few years later, my dad wanted to make up for it and took (and paid for) a week at Disney for her, her husband and their kids. That was something he hadn't done for any of his own kids. She would give him cards on Father's day, his birthday, etc and call him Dad. She would tell him how thankful she is for him and loves him as a dad and so on.... Well, a year before her mom passed away... after she had gotten all the possessions that belonged to her mom.. and then some, she joined her brothers in a court case against my dad. It really crushed my dad.. to this day he still gets upset when he talks about her. He honestly believed she thought of him as a dad and for her to turn on him like that was a slap in the face with a Mack truck! and on a smaller level, I can relate to his pain because my SD will hold my hand, hug me, tell me she loves me and treat me like we are family as long as she is getting her way... then I am the b*tch that said no.. as soon as I impose a rule or say no. I have had to accept that she is someone else's child that is never going to love me, no matter how much I love her. I have to choose to love her knowing it won't be returned and give, knowing it won't be appreciated. Now, someday she may mature and love or appreciate me, but I cannot do for her with that expectation... I do it because I want to. I feel bad that her mom treats her like crap, but that's HER mother. I can't make up for it. I feel bad that her dad isn't 'into' planning fun parties for kids and she may never have another party.. unless her mom makes one or if she asks me. I won't offer ever again. It's the hardest thing to wear your heart on your sleeve and keep a child at arms length at the same time. Over time she is seeing that I won't be manipulated and yet, I still care about her and will do whatever I need to for her protection, but I am not going to kiss her ass and I am not going to allow her to use me. I do what I want for her and when I don't want, I say no... sorry ask your mom or dad.