Somethings are done out of spite, others out of ignorance. There's a DH out there who probably figured out (too late) he was in the wrong place with the wrong tool. You're very gracious, TGL. On behalf of all of us (men) who can't tell the difference - we thank you. ; - )
J.D.

DH and I are having a good laugh over this thread! He's being such a good sport I won't list all the poor plants who have died after he whacked them. :-)

I agree w/ the rocks. That's my favority strategy! Jolana, when you come to the plant swap leave yourself extra time...you can pull off 183 or the new toll road and pick up loads and loads of pretty orange limestone boulders. They are laying around everywhere they have torn up for the new construction. DH has been very supportive and helped me pick some up before...I have a very nice border now in the backyard!

Sometimes Justin - but there are those times, when something goes awry (usually after I've told him it would if he does it "that" way) He says "I guess I'll end up on the Gardenweb, huh?"

He's never read anything here, so I am safe.

"I guess I'll end up on the Gardenweb, huh?" LOL
There ARE worse things, you know, like, being "fluffed up".
; - )

Oh, Jolana, my goodness! Why does DH even try to mow? Is he trying to be disagreeable or is he honestly trying to hep?

Ya'll are funny. :)

My hubby has lots of power tools and a weed eater. Fortunately we have a rental house and he can go there to satisfy his urge to weed eat. There is also an enormous trumpet vine trying to take over the house, the neighbors planted it, and that keeps him busy with the weed killer and the sprayer.

Buy and old house that needs lots of work. That way hubby can use all his power tools and stay out of your way. Mine is currently painting the house. At this rate he will be done in 10 years. Then the siding in the back needs to be replaced, the sheetrock on the kitchen ceiling-leak from bathroom, new flooring, trim for all the downstairs windows & doors, replace the downstairs bathroom sink and cabinet....... he'll NEVER make it into the yard! The house had suffered a huge fire when I bought it 16 years ago & it's only partially done. Boy do I have plans for him when he retires in a few years, the house will be paid off in the next 2 years. He ran his own construction company for years and trained as a cabinet maker in his dads shop. Did I mention there is nothing in the kitchen downstairs so he gets to totally remodel it?
Tally HO!

Beachy, I have a great project for him when he gets done there!

Jolana, I'll help you make bail & just make sure your lawyer gets plenty of gardeners on the jury. You'll never be convicted, it's justifiable. I really can't complain about my Dh, he told me about the plant sale at Tech's biology lab & took me there this am to get plants. I didn't even know the biology department had a greenhouse. But he did it because he'd mowed down all the larkspur & zebrina malva that had volunteered in the front yard. I had already weeded & cut the grass around them with scissors so he didn't have to go near them. But I bought a Jassmine (sp), several coleus, iris for the bog, tall & dwarf cyperus, jade plants (2), red petunias, string of pearls, trifolium(purple), a brandywine tomato plant & a few other things. The lady tells me they'll have another sale next month. Anything in particular you'd like me to look for ? Sometimes I think they have either a garden gene or a lawn gene. The guys here are exceptions to that rule ?? I better be a little quieter or I'll wake him up laughing. At this rate I'm never going to catch up on all the news, I have to stop & wipe my eyes or the monitor screen. Bev

glad this was brought up again.

When"burying the body in the garden" was mentioned, I forgot to suggest burying autumn leaves, shredded paper, & other carbon materials with him.

He may as well compost & improve things, he won't be doing anything else...

My DH, Bless his little pea-pickin heart, doesn't know which end of hammer to hold onto. I gave up letting him mow anything and hired a guy to do it for me. DH leaves MY tools, including power tools, outside whenever he has the temerity to use them without my permission, and then has the gall to deny that he used them. He ruined the loppers, my long handled digging fork and several garden hoses by running over them with the mower where he left them out in the yard.

He has even messed up my computer, but only because his quit working altogether. Imagine that! Now he wants my digital camera to use at his office, which means that it will stay in his car all the time along with all those uneaten tacos, apple cores, half-empty cans of soda pop, and the dirty clothes he hides from me, so I won't know that he has ruined them.

We've been married 13 blissful years now and I think I have him trained somewhat. When I ask him what he has planned for the weekend, he answers, "Whatever you tell me to do." Good answer. Since I will never tell him to do anything that involves electricity or water. He is only allowed to dig where I tell him to and to bring the compost over to the hole, not to put it in the hole or to plant anything or to water it.

He is allowed to haul bricks or paver stones, but not to place them. He must stack them neatly only where I designate. He can bring me Gatoraide and make me a sandwich for lunch, but he is otherwise restricted from the kitchen too.

He's not allowed to vacuum if the house is really dirty, because he doesn't clean behind or under anything, doesn't dust and doesn't put the vacuum cleaner away when he's finished with it. He is only allowed to vacuum on weekdays because I know he will vacuum a small path from the door on one side of the room to the door on the other side of the room. His rationale is that's the only place he walks, so it must be the only place that's dirty. Never mind that I also live there, walk everywhere, and we have two dogs and three cats who track everythign under the sun over every inch of carpet, upholstery, tile and woodwork in the house.

But I have to give him some credit, after all, he suggested that I have a greenhouse built. Of course I have to pay for it myself...but what the heck, it's another place I can go and don't have to listen to the TV blaring old reruns of John Wayne and Audie Murphy WWII movies. Cheryl

I heard that painting your tools a very girlie pink with keep guys from using them. I don't know what to do about a guy that is color blind. PJ

HAHAHA, I love y'all

Not allowed to vacuum? Ha!Ha!Ha!Ha!Ha!

We used to have a little dog, and every time my wife would open the door of the hall closet, where she keeps the vacuum, he would start barking, and wouldn't quit till she had vacuumed the whole house. Now I could open the same closet door, and he wouldn't even give me a second glance. I guess that was because I wasn't ALLOWED to vacuum either. Ha!Ha!Ha!
Jim

Jim, do men mess up stuff just to get out of doing it? (C'mon your secret is safe with me!) My boys tried that and after about 3 re-dos decided it wouldn't work and stopped. Would that work with men? PJ

PJ, they Jim and JD)admitted that a couple of years ago, lol
well, they didn't come right out and say it but they knew the ways to get out of it, lol
That's doing it as far as I am concerned, hahahaha

My DS is the only man I know that hasn't pulled that.
He might have tried it when he was small and I don't recall but he didn't get ruined like DH and DB and my SIL
When he gets married, if he does, his DW is going to drop to her knees and worship me, BWAHAHAHA. Especially when she hears tales of his DD, LOL

I told my DD, that was what was happening around her house and she didn't believe it and now is seeing more of it, LMBO

YES, men do mess things up on purpose to get out of doing them.

Talk about taking 10 years to paint the house? Mine wanted to finish the room above the garage himself but I wanted to hire someone to do it. After waiting 6 years for him to get started on it I called Bill the contractor. When Bill got to the house DH told him that we changed our minds and were going to do it ourselves, so Bill went away mad.

DH went to Lowes and bought a couple tubs of wall mud and he put it on the walls. When it dried he sanded it by hand to smooth it out, but that took so long that he decided to use the power sander. Mud, sand, mud, sand, mud, sand. This went on for weeks and weeks. Finally I went up to see what was going on and there was no mud on the walls, the wallboard had been sanded down past the paper layer, the joints and nails were all exposed and the dust on the floor was 2" thick.

So I found him, you guessed it, watching TV and said so how's it going up there? And he says, I gotta go get more mud...

Then he went out of town for a couple days and while he was gone, Bill came back and finished it and put a lock on the door. I told DH that I would have to call a locksmith to get that door open so he could finish up and that was two years ago. Cheryl

LOL. Oh Cheryl - that story w/ the mud...he sounds just like my DH. Bless his heart, but he turns every project into a mountain. Just last month he pulled out the power drill to change the battery in Elmo...stripped the darn screws but keeps on going w/ that darn drill...faster and faster like it was going to help. argh. I had to stop him before it was too late. I'm not going to have Elmo ruined b/c he can't get the battery plate off.

uh oh...here he comes. gotta go!

Jolana,
I'm so happy to see you posting again and having some fun with it.

My DH is different. He is very proficient with tools. He has every tool known to man, and purchases tools for me, even! We have his and hers everything, just that mine are a little smaller or lighter weight.

Take hammers, for instance. I bought him a 26oz. Eastwing hammer, very nice tool for him. So he bought me a 22 oz. Eastwing, in case I "needed" it. I have decided he is actually buying them so that he will inherit them should I kick the bucket. He will then have both a 26 oz. and a 22 oz. Eastwing hammer. Same with everything.

One thing that he actually outdid himself on was the Shopsmith. He decided it would be a good tool for me, and it is. The only problem with it is that it takes up room in his shop. I need for him to build a shop just for me!

We have removed almost all the grass from our property, so that he only has the grass out in the ditch and by the street to mow now. He still has 5 big pecan trees to take care of. And he still grows his peppers, which he alone is responsible for. I don't touch them. He is allowed to pull hoses, and is required to weedeat, but that is because weedeating only goes on out in his grass area. Not anywhere near my stuff.

I have one major complaint about him. He is a perfectionist, and that may be the problem with Cheryl's DH, too. He will not finish something because it might not turn out perfect! Drives me out of my mind! We are not responsible for lives here, as in Nasa, it is just a garden project. It doesn't have to be perfect! Just get it done! I waited for 4 years to get the hot tub running, because he got it all done up to the point of terminating the wiring for it, then quit. I finally hired it done, and it is wonderful! It would have been just as wonderful if he had finished that 30 minutes work 4 years earlier. LOL

I wonder why I have never read about any of this in that "Can this marriage be saved?" thing.

I will donate to the fund to bail Jolana out. Where do I send the money?

Janie

Geez, it doesn't matter how many times I read this, I still laugh till I cry, lol

Mr. little_dani,

Brilliant move - now you can build the new shop.

J.D.

I hate to break it to you Janie, but the duplicate tools, are so you won't use his! Ha!
Jim

Ah, Janie, you have awakened the sleeping giants.

I wish I were as sharp as all these other guys. Why didn't I think of that!!??!!??

Jim - you might have overdone it a bit with the back surgery just to get the Mrs. to do the gardening for you.
;-)
J.D.

It was extreme, J. D., but just imagine this: I'm walking around the new pathways, with a plant stake, pointing at weeds, and she is pulling them up. Priceless!
Jim

Jim-
I'm humbled in your presence.

HAHAHA

Okay, in defense of my fluffer it is just garden tools he used to not be good with, because I have always done the yard
work while he was/is working, lol

Lately with all of my health issues, he has gotten very good at using them

Although, I do believe if I walked around pointing at things for him to do, that would be the end of it!!! LOL

Jim, if you want your helper to continue....you might want to tone it down, LMBO
because she might take that stake and..........

Jolana, I truly believe she does NOT read GW Texas....LOL>

jolana - I was worried about that stake and the 'pop-sicle' syndrome, too.

Over 2 years old and still funny.

Yep!! Still funny!

This thread is hilarious! And I thought MY DH was bad! He walks around inside with a bottle of bleach and outside with a sprayer of round-up. The bad part is - I don't think he's messing up to try to get out of it. I've begged him to stop, but he LOVES bleach and round-up!

And the last thing he ran over with the mower (he uses a tractor for total destruction) was a concrete 'rabbit'. There was no 'fluffing' that thing up!

Holley, you need to sabotage your hubs's "bottles" right away!

I'd say pour them out & replace with water, but he'd detect the lack of fragrance, but you could at least dilute that stuff with water to minimize his path of destruction.

As for protecting concrete bunnies & other innocent plants/animals/inanimate objects...
take away those keys.

LOL, I agree, get those bottles outta there, lol
You would have thought a concrete bunny would have fluffed some blades up, hehehe

Remember the Dad in a Big Fat Greek Wedding with the Windex, I still laugh thinking of that but wouldn't want my dh doing it, LOL

Those were my thoughts on the blades, Jolana......a few "fluffed" blades just may do the trick !!!!

haha - unfortunately, he is smart enough to go to the store and buy his own bleach AND hide it! Same with round-up. I am slowly 'training' him to not get into my flower beds with the round-up, even though he is itching to and keeps telling me that there's no reason for me to pull a weed - just round-up it! I think he thinks I'll eventually come over to his (dark) side. :)

Not sure what happened with those blades. I'm sure they were a little damaged, but he just keeps on with that tractor. He wonders why I insist on mowing the back myself, even though I had to buy a push mower. I told him that he had so much to do, I just wanted to help him out. :) Sneaky, huh?

Jim,
He's got her mowing the back - just a matter of time until he is entirely free. He got a new push mower, too. Brilliant, just brilliant.
;-)
J.D.

HAHAHA, oh no,it does work, lol

I'm so proud of the guy, and don't even know him!
Jim

Okay, you two, I still have email addresses for wives.

................and Carrie jummps straight to the 'double dog dare (threat)'

hahahahaha - You are so right - I didn't even think about it that way! You guys crack me up! And I thought *I* was the one being sneaky! lol He has me doing all the weeding and mowing the back, too!

Now we're *discussing* a vegetable garden. He wants to do it one way, I another. I told him that I was going to do it my way and he could just stay out of it! He's just won again, hasn't he? hmmmm....... beginning to catch on now...

Gee, Hollygarden, you're quick ..................

Hahaha, yeah, he's good, lol
Holley for almost 30 yrs, I did sooo much in the yard.....then, I think it was JD that ratted my dh out, lol
I never would have believed he was capable of any of this sneaky stuff, lol

double dog dare lol

holley - does your DH do seminars?

I had one of those 3 foot tall herons made out of metal (brass?) whose head came off. It was held on by screws.

My DS took it to his shop to fix it and in a few days backed over it with his brush hog. I could have, should have, repaired it myself.

I also painted my tools pink and purple. Now where could a missing pink post hole digger be hiding?

J.D. and Jim - I would have never understood this side of my sweet DH if you hadn't pointed it out. Perhaps you should do an "Intervention"-type show for us ladies. It would be a hit!

soxxxx - look under the brush hog. :)

Sorry, Holly, but I am presently teaching a class, at our local junior college, entitled "How to Get Your Wife to Mow the Lawn, and Suggest that You Spend More Time at the Golf Coarse, Without Ever Saying a Word." It is a huge success, and there is a waiting list to get in.
Jim

bossjim1

Re: Your college class

Did you get all the subject material from this site?
Is it classified as a HOBBY coarse?

Well, that proves me wrong - again! I thought surely you men were just naturally born with this talent. :)