Celeste, Oh Honey, I am so sorry for the loss of your dear cat. My heart aches for you and I know how difficult it is to try and understand the why? I know telling you to just be grateful for the time you had with him is pointless at this time. You just hurt. Just go with it for now. It sounds like you have a full plate after this past week. I don`t know how we get thru these times, but we do, somehow. Sharing this with people who will send you love and support should help. I will remember you in my prayers,and I send you love, strength and caring thoughts. Your rose arrangements are just beautiful. Lesley

Celeste

I am so sorry you lost Cosmo so suddenly and the roses you posted in his memory are just lovely. I am praying for you to remain strong in what has been a terrible week for you and your family.

Take care
Liz

Celeste

I am so sorry for your loss, I know our pets are part of our families and when they pass away we feel like a part of us is gone. You really have been hit hard this week and I am praying for you, may God bless you with a healing heart.

Lori

Celeste,
I am praying for you as well. I am so glad you shared all of this with us...we all need friends, especially in times like these.
Your photographs are always so welcome....I have always absolutely LOVED your flowers AND kitty pictures...especially those of Cosmo. We have 3 kitties, and Abbi is my "baby", who I know I will cry buckets over when she passes.
Keep writing and letting us know how things are, Celeste!
We love you! :0) Phyl

THANK YOU SO MUCH for your words of comfort, my dear rose friends. I woke up this morning hoping I had just had a really bad dream and wanting so much for Cozzy to be snuggled up between DH and me like he always was. The tears started pouring again. I admit it took a few glasses of wine to get me to be able to go to bed without him. I know gardening will never be the same, because Cozzy was always rolling in the grass or rubbing up against me while I worked, so full of life and love.

My big, burly husband cried like a baby last night. He had just said a couple of days ago that when Jack (his dog) passes on at least he will have his boy Cozzy. We are still stunned by Cozzy's passing. All I can think is that it was a heart attack or an aneurysm because he was perfectly healthy and then gone in mere seconds.

I just wanted to express my gratitude for your heartfelt words.....they mean so much right now. You are wonderful friends indeed.

Celeste

I am so sorry for your loss. I think it is most hard when they are taken so suddenly from us. I had a dog that died just as your Cosmo did and it devastated me for a long time. I also will keep you in my prayers.

Celeste, I am so sorry for your loss. Cosmo is a beautiful cat. I could just cry for you. My thoughts are with you as you help your mom understand.

Carla

Dear, dear Celeste,

You have taken on so much, and given love to all in the process. I know a bit of what you deal with each day ... we have the wayward daughter's legal problems ... and my Siamese cat Cindy, died last week. Please know that we all here, each of us, wish we could offer you more than a few hopefully-comforting words.

Sleep well, sweet Cosmo. You are missed more than you know.

Peace,
Connie

Hi celeste,I want to say thank you for all the informations, you gave to us in zone:4,for growing beautiful roses. My thoughts are with you ! And may be, you will find another friend, like Cosmo.
Gaston

Oh my dear Celeste------I was so shocked and sadden to read about Cosmo---Most of us here on GW are also animal lovers and we've endured the loss of precious fur-babies-and understand how you feel-
I'm at a loss for words he was so young and what a horrible shock

You sure do have too much on your plate--

I was so hoping your daughter was doing better but it seems her choice of boyfriends is terrible.

I hope that all the love here on the Forum can help to soften the sadness and pain you are feeling.
You are much loved and we all appreciate all the beauty you have shared with us.

I'm heartsick for you.

Love, Florence

I am very sorry for you and Cosmo. I wonder if he had a heart attack. I have had a total of 6 cats so far while living here. Three of them are no longer with me for various reasons. One had feline leukemia and had to be put down. One went out to play for a while at night and never came back; fate unknown. The third went out to play at night for a while and wound up catching and eating a mouse that had eaten rat poison. She died in the vet's office. I was and still am sick over her loss because she was the sweetest little cat of any of them. I know; it's hard sometimes.

Oh Celeste, I am so sorry for your loss. Cosmo was a beautiful kitty. How odd that he just fell over dead. He must've had some sort of medical condition that you weren't visibly aware of. That's so sad.

I know how it feels to lose a beloved animal. They really are like one of our children. In fact, I know for myself, we can feel their loss more than that of a family member. My favorite cat Whiskers died about 6yrs ago, at nearly 18. We got her and her "boyfriend" Fuzzy when I was pregnant with our older son. We lost Fuzzy about 5yrs prior to losing her. But I always said she was my "soul mate." She was near me most of the time, and slept by my hip every night. She didn't like to be held, as most female cats don't, but I loved her so much. And when she had to be put down, I cried and cried for days. I didn't cry nearly as much when my own father passed away almost 2yrs ago now.

I can tell you it will take a long time to get over Cosmo's passing. Any animal we keep as a pet touches our hearts and becomes part of us. So it hurts when they go. But don't rule out adopting another kitty later on. They make us feel better, keep us company and entertain us. We have three cats now, one of which grew up with Whiskers and Fuzzy, and I know she will go in a few yrs. She'll be 15 this spring and she's not as spry as she used to be. But the other two keep her going. Cats are wonderful. Dogs are ok too, but cats are my favorite!

Celeste, you bouquets are just beautiful!

Once again, MANY THANKS for all the warm words of comfort....I can feel the warmth of your heartfelt words and I want you all to know it helps to ease the pain.
My heart aches so much now because I am stuck inside the house for days on end taking care of Mom, there's a snowstorm starting outside so MORE winter weather....and all my daughter's problems to dwell on. Cosmo was my cheer when all the world seemed so gloomy and he made me smile when I wanted to cry. Now without him, crying seems all I can do.

I do gain comfort in knowing that I gave him a good life, and he in return enriched mine. I miss how he always greeted me by turning upside-down and wriggling in the grass, begging for a belly rub. I've heard it said that when a cat offers his belly to be scratched it is a sign of complete trust because the cat is at its most vulnerable in that position.

Here's some pictures of him like that....this is how I will always remember him.

Celeste

Hi Celeste, I am so sorry for you loss. I know how much our four legged family members mean to us. Cosmo looks so playful in that last group of pics. Your arrangements are gorgeous. Always remember Cosmo the way he was. I miss all our animals we have lost along the way. Take care, Judy

Celeste, I am so sorry for your troubles. You are such a sensitive and caring person. It's not fair that you should have these sorrows! Your pictures of Cosmo show how well cared for and loved he was. He was lucky to have you all for his family. My prayer is for you to be able to remember the good times with him, and for relief of your sorrow.

I'm also sorry to hear about Grace. Unfortunately, she didn't seem to learn her lesson from her previous misadventures. I know you are worried about her, but she is a grown up now and must make her own mistakes. I am sorry you have to deal with this on top of everything else.
Sincerely
Kathy

Celeste, I'm so sorry for your loss. I hope memories of his warm presence will help to ease the sadness.

The rose blooms are a fitting tribute, they are lovely bouquets.

Celeste, I have't been around much lately, I just saw your thread. I'm really sorry about loosing your Cosmo. They really are a member of the family and sudden can be as tragic as the failing of your dog. I went through that with mine. You grieve for them as much as you would a family member I believe. Everything is really piling on you and you're in my prayers for strength to get through. You bring so much to others with your words and your flowers and roses. I wish for you peace of mind and heart.
Les

Celeste----Just wanted you to know you are in my thoughts today. You've had so much sadness lately----
You are much loved here on the Forum .
Florence

Judy, Kathy, Krista, Leslie & Florence....
Thank you for such wonderful expressions of caring. It helps to know that others understand the pain of the loss of a pet.....I know I have lost a piece of my heart with Cosmo.

You are all such treasured friends.....Thank You to everyone who responded so warmly.

Celeste

Celeste - I'm so sorry to hear about your kitty. I know how special pets are and hope that each day gets a little easier.

Hugs,
Laura

Celeste, so sorry about Cosmo. I think it is much more difficult to grieve for an animal who dies unexpectedly before its time. It happened to me with a 7 year old dog. I couldn't tell the story for years without starting to cry. It will get easier but you will always remember Cosmo, hopefully all the good times you had together.
Kathy

Just wanted to thank you, Laura and Kathy for your sweet sentiments.
I haven't gotten through a day since he died that I haven't cried but it is slowly getting a little easier.
I think that the sudden, shocking way he died has made my recovery harder. He died in my arms with his beautiful
eyes open, looking into mine. No more than 2 minutes before I had been scratching him behind the ears and he was rubbing up on me all lovey-dovey like he always was.
He was such a cheerful & loving cat, good-natured and full of life right up until the moment he died.

I have decided to make a shade garden in his memory in the woods behind our house.....that is where Cosmo always was out hunting. I will have his ashes there where he was so happy. I was laughing through my tears yesterday as I recalled all the birds, chipmunks, mice, etc. that Cozzy
"gifted" me with and how sometimes I would chase after him if he had a live bird or chipmunk dangling from his mouth, trying to get him to drop it. He would run like the dickens from me and hide somewhere with his prey....and I would pout and act all mad at him....but still he would rub up against me and love me up as if to say "but Mommy,
I got that chipmunk for YOU....how can you be mad at me?".

I would give anything to see a decapitated bird on my step right now.

Celeste

Wow!!! Life has been very difficult for you lately. :(

I haven't lost a pet yet, so I don't really know how it feels. But just thinking about my standard poodle (Jellybean) being gone leaves a hollowness in my heart.

I'm glad for you that you have so many rose friends here and that spring is just around the corner. Take care, sweetie.

Carol

Sorry to hear about beautiful Cosmo. You have had it rough lately! Thinking of you and hoping things will take a turn for the better soon.

Hi Celeste, just now saw this post. So sorry to hear of the loss of your Cosmo kitty. You will carry him in your heart forever. I hope things will look up for you soon.
Hugs, Becky

I am so sorry you are going through this. It is awful when our cats go, however old they are. I still badly miss my favorite cat Otto, that I always said was my "familiar." He died 6 years ago at age 15. I hope you heal soon and always remember how lucky you two were to have each other.

THANK YOU, sweet forum friends! I appreciate your words of comfort.
Cosmo and I were lucky to have each other, that is true. I know the pain will slowly subside and then the wonderful memories will take over. It still hurts every day but I know I was blessed to have had such a loving, wonderful friend.

Celeste

Oh Celeste Honey.....I'm so very sorry. 6 years old is not old for a kitty but what a handsome boy he was. Cosmo had a very loving face, just a gorgeous boy.
I hope your Mom is coping okay. What a sweetheart she is....I love seeing pictures of her with those famous hats on! Just a living doll!

My boy Maxwell is 17 years old, takes pills twice a day for hypothyroid and is just the love of our life(besides our precious daughter!). Max is always in David's lap if he sits down for one minute. Max is just a typical little old man...always cold...but oh my, how we love that dear old kitty cat.

I for one can not wait to see pictures of your roses. I must say, you do have a talent for growing gorgeous roses my love! Just think, Cosmo will still be there in spirit walking every step with you among those roses!!!

Deb ((((((Celeste))))))

THANK YOU, DEB....You are always such a sweetheart and your words bring comfort. I just love the thought of Cosmo still being with me among my roses, in spirit....that is what I will believe. He loved life and being outside in the yard with me more than anything.

Mom knows one of the cats is gone, but her mind does not allow her to realize which one is missing. Sometimes she has weepy days typical of her illness and she will say how much she misses 'the one who died' but she could never tell them apart. We still have Nemo, Lily, and my daughter Grace's kitten Zeus (temporarily)....and although I love them no one can take Cosmo's place.

Thanks for the cheer!

Celeste

Cosmo, lounging in the sunshine on the deck last summer....

Oh Sweetie..I know how you feel. My husband and I were going through a time in our lives where the older folks in the family were passing away. My beautiful, devoted flame pt Himalyan Caesar..got sick. He got a nasty tumor under his tongue. I was able to keep him around for about 6 weeks..before I put him down. I stayed with him when we did it..It broke my heart. He really loved me and did not like sharing me. A year later his younger brother got sick as well. I had to put him down too. Well, they were 13 years old..I finally realized that animals do pass. But I cried for along time. Even now at times if I see their pictures tears spring to my eyes. I wrote a poem and I will post in here this weekend.

We had 8 family or friends pass away in 18 months. A year ago my good friend who was like a mentor to me passed away. She had been ill. She was 68. Then her husband died..he was sick for along time too! So those passings I expected. They were such good friends to me. The horrible one was my best girlfriend killed herself in October. That one was hard. After a time, I am finally accepting that passings are part of life.

On a side note..my daughter was a nightmare for about 5 years. She is a only child..I had her picked up off the streets and hauled her to a lockup adolescent hospital in Utah. Kids can't sign themselves out in Utah. 3 months there..she continued to be horrible. Anyway about 25 she got her head out of her uhhhh hiney and she grew up. She works as a parmedic, is married to a fireman and just gave birth to my first grandchild. She is 32. Hang in there.

THANK YOU zyperiris for your comforting words. You are very kind and I appreciate your sharing your own heartaches.
Life without Cosmo continues to be hard, especially now that spring is officially here and the snow has almost completely melted. This is the time of year that he would have been beside himself with glee....to be able to go out and hunt after a long, snowy winter. I feel the loss so much more now that I can get outside, because thats where he and I always were in the spring and summer. He was always beside me as I worked in my garden. There I am out in my yard at long last and it just isn't the same joyful place it once was because Cosmo isn't with me. I have never known so faithful a friend.

It is interesting to me that ever since Cosmo's passing, it is almost as if he is trying to reach me and DH (who also took his death very hard). Just yesterday DH saw a cat that was identical to Cosmo in the strangest place....near the gym where he works out which is near a mall....and it just came from out of nowhere and flopped onto its back to offer its belly just like Cozzy did, then disappeared.
Then my 'grandkitten' Zeus has been doing the same thing, rolling onto his back for me to rub his belly, which he never did before Cosmo's passing. And he never purred before either. Now he purrs so loudly I swear its Cozzy next to me as I'm sleeping. Cosmo was the loudest purring cat ever. And Zeus never slept with me before, and now he is. So I am getting so much comfort from Zeus and he is helping mend my broken heart. Not that you can replace one pet with another, but there is a special bond growing between me and Zeus and I can only hope and pray that my daughter doesn't take him away from me. She moved out (unofficially) but Zeus is still here.

Thanks....and blessings,

Celeste

Oh you can bet that Zeus can sense your sadness and is trying to comfort you. He may be missing Cozzy to! Hubby and I have 2 ragdoll cats now. They are brother and sister and are about 18 months old now. They are different than my other two boys..but I am loving them.

Caesar my Flame Pt Himi..with blue eyes was so prissy and stuck up. Quite a vain cat. So devoted to me. His brother..Max..was so simple and wellll, dumb..He was a happy little soul. He was a Blue Persian. He was so furry..He mostly gave up grooming..it was like he thought "why bother". He would love it when we shaved him...he would sleep for days. His ways were so cute. He would sleep in very odd places and if his food bowl was empty he would sit and stare at it. As if he couldn't figure out where the food went. Sometimes he would come and get me and lead me to his bowl..even when it had food in it. He was hilarious. I loved those cats. BUT they were old and had good lives. Cozzy was a young cat..sounds like a brain aneurysm to me. At least it was fast and it sounds like he was well loved. He was a lucky boy

Thinking of you Celeste----Are you in contact with Grace ??

My grandaughter Melissa is still angry at her mother and me----Her anger is misplaced--it was her father who caused all the trouble.

Zyperiris----your note gave me some hope--maybe when Melissa turns 25 she will grow up and stop hurting her mother. I'm happy your daughter has turned her life around.

Florence

Hello dear Florence,

Yes, I hear from Grace from time to time. She didn't 'officially' move out since most of her belongings are still here....and so is Zeus, thank God! She pops in every couple of weeks to grab some of her things and to give Zeus a hug. We are on good terms and she always hugs me and tells me she loves me. Her life is a mess right now and I think she feels she has brought too much trouble onto me to still live here, even though I have never asked her to leave. When she got arrested because of the boyfriend and the drugs in her car, she lost her car and had to pay a huge fine in court (which she borrowed from me and paid me back with her tax return.... it took all of it). So since she no longer has a car and is working again, she is staying with a friend who lives closer to where she works. Her lifestyle is not what I want for her and she chooses to hang around the wrong kind of people, but she is an adult and my hands are tied. However, we remain friends and on good terms. I just wish she would come to her senses and realize that she is going nowhere with the choices she is making.

I feel like the mother is always the one that the children lash out at. My youngest, Tiffany, treats me with such hostility whenever she is mad at her deadbeat father.... he lives all the way across the country and rarely calls her and is in arrears on his child support bigtime. She can't lash out at him since he's not around and says how much she hates him (to me) but the 3 times a year he thinks to call her, she acts all sweet and loving toward him.
For some reason us mothers are the 'safest' to hurt and treat badly because our children know Mom will always forgive them and will love them no matter what.

I am certain that with maturity and a lot of patience, our children (and your granddaughter) will come around. Sometimes it takes becoming a mother themselves to comprehend all that they take for granted now. I had hoped that my daughters would gain that knowledge by watching me care for my own mother. My mom was cold and distant to me all my life and we were never close. Once she got the Alzheimers she became kinder and gentler and I am learning to forgive all the past hurts. Maybe one day
my girls will learn to forgive me as well, for not being perfect. One thing they have always known is that my love for them is unconditional. They know they can always rely
on me....my arms are always open.
My love to you....
Celeste

Celeste, I gave my daughter way too much slack as she was a only child. She was mistreating me way into her twenties. One day she was being her usual self and I gasped...she said "What"? I told her I always thought she was nasty because she was rebelling. It finally occured to me that she was way past the age of rebelling..that this nasty person WAS HER. I also told her I loved her, but I loved myself as well and I was no longer willing to ruin my life over her. It seemed to work. She left for Indiana to her paternal Grandparents house and she found herself there.

Mothers are the safe ones that they take out all their angst over life.

Hang in there. I think you are right to detach from your older daughter.

Thanks Celeste----It is so sad how much time is wasted with all the hateful feelings----My daughter Robyn always has been and still is a very kind, thoughtful loving person and she is so hurt by the things her daughter is doing to her and all of us.

what a shame---

Nothing much we can do bout it---

Perhaps Robyn shoud do what zyperiris did with her daughter-----Melissa is 24 now not a child anymore---as a child she was very sweet and loving but not anymore.
Oh well we can only do so much----we live almost 2 hours away which makes it difficult--

Celeste please keep your lovely pictures coming --I enjoy all of them

Florence

You folks don't know me, and I don't mean to butt in, but I'd like to offer you this hope: my older daughter was AWFUL well into her twenties. Said she hated me and meant it, but kept coming around for money or shelter. Had a poisonous boyfriend, flunked out of school, car wrecks, bad debts.
Fast-forward to her thirties; she is married with three little boys, seems to be a good mother and wife, and (drumroll....) moved her family to our little town to be closer to us. Calls and visits and is very loving. It was a long road, but worth the wait. One does get gray hair and wrinkles in the process...
Best wishes,
Laura

I appreciate your comments, Laura. It is good to hear a story of hope! I don't know what it is about girls....(I have 2)...but in my opinion they are harder. I only have one son (he's my oldest) who has always been wonderful. He has always made my proud and we are the best of friends even to this day...and I gained a sweet daughter-in-law.

I know deep down that Grace will come to her senses one day because she has the kindest soul and is very smart.
It really is all about the choices she is making.

Thanks for responding!

Celeste

Laura, I got some of that from my daughter too. She once called me a "loser beech". I slapped her. She also flung over the XMAS tree one year in a fit of fury. Then she spent hours glueing the ornaments back together. LOL.