Since you live in SoCal I think Phoenix canariensis will be the least demanding. Pindos can thrive by you, but prefer some more humidity and water and also might be slower growing than dates in your area. And if you want a fast growing palm than Jubaea's arent the palm for you because they grow really slowww.

Not enough info from your posting to answer your question. They are really easy so something basic is wrong. What kind of soil did you use? Is drainage good? Where is the plant? How are you watering? Post a picture if possible.

It depends on the winter temperatures, and whether or not it is protected or sheltered. If it is left in the open on a night with single digits and some wind, you're probably going to lose the palm.

If it will really grow too big then I could always sell it but maybe in the meantime when that does happen I might have alrready moved to a bigger place. I recon the perfect spot would be inside a sunroom or greenhouse type of deal. The reason I bought it was because it was on sale and the only other one they had was some type of petticoat palm that I didn't like. They are pretty common as indoor plants here though. Since it was my first plant ever I wanted something big to green the place up a little bit, but in hindsight I would have been better off buying multiple smaller plants and researching them before buying because she does take up a lot of room. Not that I regret it, we're still happy together :) Thanks for the feedback.