Hi everyone -- Just thought I'd post an update and a thank you! Reception went off with nary a hitch on Saturday. Final menu consisted of: Veggie and fruit trays Shrimp Cocktail Sweet n' Sour Meatballs Mini Egg Rolls Small Turkey/Ham Wraps Sausage and Cheese Biscuits Burgundy Mushrooms Deviled Eggs Assorted Cheeses and Crackers Brie with Fig Compote Topping Tortilla Chips and Cowboy Caviar Potato Chips Pickles and Olives Coffee, Punch, Iced Tea and Water The 85 people that she confirmed actually ended up being more like 65-70. So, we had a fair amount of food left over. I made an ice bowl to display the shrimp -- it turned out beautifully. I was so proud! LOL I agree with Linda that Brie can get rubbery if left out too long, but past experience has shown me that it usually doesn't last long enough to get cold. And, true to form, people just gobbled it down. Could have made a lot more eggs -- those went quickly as well. I'm not an egg person myself, so I forget how much people love them at parties. People were definitely hungry and went through the line several times -- no one was shy, thank goodness. I did use the small plates, and some people used two at a time, so I'm glad I planned for extra food. Everything else was good and our one minor fiasco was that I burned the egg rolls when heating them up. Not sure if it was the strange oven I was using (should have brought my own oven thermometer) or that they'd thawed out slightly so cooked more quickly, or a combination of both. So, about half of them did burn and I didn't put them out, but we did okay anyway. So, all in all a successful event and I received loads and loads of compliments which was nice for the ego. ;) I stayed at budget, which she actually upped to $600. I think I came in around $550, but still finishing up the totals and taking a few things back to the store that weren't used. Took me all day to recover on Sunday, though. I'm getting too old for this stuff! LOL A big thank you to everyone -- your tips and advice were incredibly helpful. Thanks so much!

Whew! It's over! Husband called today and said all went well. His daughter had asked him before the reception about having pictures taken with her and her mother and he told her he would rather not do that since they weren't married any more. She understood. When he arrived at the reception his ex-wife came up to him and offered her hand and said "Thanks for coming". He said he almost laughed because it sounded like it was her party. But I told him that was a nice gesture and really set the tone so that people wouldn't have to hold their breath anticipating fireworks. My last words to him before he caught his plane were to take the high road in any situation and to NOT follow their Jerry Springer drama. Pictures were fine. Mom with daughter/s. Dad with daughter/s. Mom and Dad with daughter/s and extended family such as grandmother, aunts/uncles. The aunt that had been stirring things up before the reception was pushing for a picture of Mom/Dad/Daughters until the bride's twin sister told her to "back off". She later told her Dad that she was sure the aunt would be made at her for that. My husband was very surprised. He saw friends that he hadn't seen in the 17 years since the separation. It was a nice time for him and he's glad it's over too. Thanks to everyone here who helped me think this through and offered support and advice. You're a great group and I'm glad you are here. Maybe something in this thread will help someone else googling "stepchild wedding" which is how I found you. Best to all!!

If your concern is for how you will know who is coming to what, the solution to that is to include a response card with separate yes/no lines for each event. For the invitation, you could both on one invitation, but I would do them on separate cards. Make sure that the dates are prominent on both so that your guests will notice that the events are in different times and places. I assume you mean that everyone is invited to both Florida and Michigan? You used the word "or," though, so I can't tell for sure. If you only want them to come to one or the other, then you need to decide who you want at which one and only invite them to that; I can't really think of a polite way to invite them to both but to tell them they can only choose one. I would also avoid confusing terms like "marriage celebration/reception" or "marriage celebration." Three weeks later is close enough that you can call it a "reception." People know what that means.

If money is no object....then money is no object. (Yeah, I know, I'm brilliant. Ha.) If someone has the cash to spend, I hold zero opinions how they should spend it. That's the beauty of America. :) How someone chooses to spend discretionary income is up to you. My concern is that there seems to be huge pressure to make the wedding An Event to Remember anymore. Too many people are focused on planning a party, and not thinking about the fact that means you're (allegedly) going to be spending the rest of your life with this person. As I said, I know people who took out loans to provide An Event to Remember for their daughters' wedding/s. Half of those weddings are already over. I'm not sure I see the value in spending multiples of tens of thousands of dollars that they had to borrow, particularly on something that is a transitory state for about half the people who enter into a marriage anymore. I'd like to see more people focus on the actual marriage itself, rather than the party which precedes it. :-/