We did this for our own wedding too. We purchased different kinds of orchids from a Trader Joe's store (they could not convince me to use my own orchids hehehe). Besides, I own mostly cymbidiums and no on in their right mind will use a full size mature cymbidium for centerpieces for wedding guest tables. They will occupy the entire table :) We also bought some woven baskets from an arts & crafts store and used them to house the orchids in the center of the tables. The baskets are just a bit bigger than the orchid pots so we had room to put in some extra decorations like ribbons and other cut branches from other plants in our gardens. But even bare, the orchids in a crafted basket looks great. Since we bought different kinds of orchids, each table was unique. And the guests decided to refer to their tables by the orchid names instead of the table numbers. "We are at the purple dendrobium table over there." It also made it easier for them to find their tables after they move about. But it must have been a psychedelic experience for those who had one too many drinks. And since they were not my orchids, we decided to raffle off the centerpieces to the guests at the end of the evening. Even after several years, some of our friends would tell us that the orchids they brought home from the wedding are still doing well. And since we bought them in bloom for the wedding, they bloom around our wedding anniversary too. And I think that is neat. They see the orchids bloom and they are reminded of our wedding :)

Hi everyone -- Just thought I'd post an update and a thank you! Reception went off with nary a hitch on Saturday. Final menu consisted of: Veggie and fruit trays Shrimp Cocktail Sweet n' Sour Meatballs Mini Egg Rolls Small Turkey/Ham Wraps Sausage and Cheese Biscuits Burgundy Mushrooms Deviled Eggs Assorted Cheeses and Crackers Brie with Fig Compote Topping Tortilla Chips and Cowboy Caviar Potato Chips Pickles and Olives Coffee, Punch, Iced Tea and Water The 85 people that she confirmed actually ended up being more like 65-70. So, we had a fair amount of food left over. I made an ice bowl to display the shrimp -- it turned out beautifully. I was so proud! LOL I agree with Linda that Brie can get rubbery if left out too long, but past experience has shown me that it usually doesn't last long enough to get cold. And, true to form, people just gobbled it down. Could have made a lot more eggs -- those went quickly as well. I'm not an egg person myself, so I forget how much people love them at parties. People were definitely hungry and went through the line several times -- no one was shy, thank goodness. I did use the small plates, and some people used two at a time, so I'm glad I planned for extra food. Everything else was good and our one minor fiasco was that I burned the egg rolls when heating them up. Not sure if it was the strange oven I was using (should have brought my own oven thermometer) or that they'd thawed out slightly so cooked more quickly, or a combination of both. So, about half of them did burn and I didn't put them out, but we did okay anyway. So, all in all a successful event and I received loads and loads of compliments which was nice for the ego. ;) I stayed at budget, which she actually upped to $600. I think I came in around $550, but still finishing up the totals and taking a few things back to the store that weren't used. Took me all day to recover on Sunday, though. I'm getting too old for this stuff! LOL A big thank you to everyone -- your tips and advice were incredibly helpful. Thanks so much!

First of all, thanks again for your guidance and encouragement. The event is over and yes, there were a few moments of tension. Although they did not involve us directly. I have to confess now to something that I didn't admit to earlier in an effort to avoid looking like a complete doormat. Early on I had offered to help with a dessert buffet to serve at the church, so they would have something for those guests they weren't inviting. As it turned out, I purchased, and made everything that was served (with the help of two friends and our children). All of the items were chosen by the bride ahead of time. We decorated the tables with greenery and candles, and made a beautiful and tasty presentation including choc. dipped strawberries, etc. We had fun working together on it which made it worth it. Since I hadn't originally intended on doing it all, I decided to forgo a "traditional" wedding gift. While we were in the middle of baking and dipping etc., I received a phone call asking how they should word something on the program inviting those who were not invited to the "reception" to enjoy the treats at the church. I told them that there was going to be plenty of food for everyone. Then I was told that they wanted to limit it to those who were not going to the reception so they could talk to others faster and keep to their time schedule. I replied that there was no way to word it that would not draw more attention to the fact that some people were not invited to the reception, and told them again that we had already worked very hard to make enough food for everyone. They finally agreed and dropped it. My 8 year old went up to the bride during the "church reception" and told her that he should be invited to the dinner because he was "part of it", she told him to talk to his mother. I questioned him and confirmed that she never said anything like yes, but just wanted me to handle it. So I told him that technically he should be included, but explained that it was going to be very boring and that he was going to have more fun at his friend's house. He seemed to accept that. One guest, a high-school friend of both the bride and groom, asked the bride how to get to the restaurant. She apparently told him that the seating at the restaurant was limited and that they had not been able to invite him to that part. I guess he decided to make a point of how rude he thought they were, because he showed up at the reception anyway. They had the owner of the restaurant ask him to leave. He replied that he was only planning on staying until the bride and groom got there so he could wish them well. So then the bride's mother came up and insisted that he leave, telling him that he already offered his congratulations at the church. (Incidentally, the bride never wanted him invited to the wedding for some reason, but gave in when he called asking if his invitation was lost.) He remained in the parking lot until the couple arrived, and said something like, "Well, apparently I'm not invited to celebrate with you, but I just wanted to wish you well before I leave." The bride's mother said something to me about not wanting to be rude, but that they shouldn't have to deal with something like this on their wedding day. Personally, I feel they created the mess, and she should have let them suffer the fallout. One niece,(the flower-girl) who at fourteen towers over several bridemaids, including another niece who is only thirteen, was somehow the only member of the wedding party (attending the recep.) not included in the limo ride to the reception. She was understandably crushed. They said something about the ring-bearer not going so.... Incredible! Anyway, it took forever to serve everyone. We literally sat at the table for 2 1/2 hours before they brought our table's entre'. The portions were so small that my husband ended up taking our boys to Burger King after to get something else to eat. Our only relatives from out-of-town had assigned seating in the corner opposite from us. And I mean...they were locked in...the only way for them to get out was to ask four other people to get up first. So I only got to visit with them for a few minutes after dinner was served, and while the cake was cut. They were seated next to the parents of the bride and friends of the brides parents that they didn't know. The best thing I can say is It's Over!; the couple is very good-looking; my ds was extremely cute as the ring-bearer and even added some comic relief the bride was hoping for; it was fun working with friends the day before; and It's Over!!!

I rarely disagree with sweet pea, and I don't on almost everything she wrote, except I wouldn't wear a wedding gown, and I don't think your husband should wear a tuxedo (unless it is a black tie party anyway, of course). (I stress that I am thinking of a traditional wedding gown; if you mean a regular dress, even a long white one, that you are planning to wear to your wedding, then wear it, as long as it isn't dressier than what the guests will be wearing, or at least not much -- i.e., if they will be wearing short party dresses, you could go ahead and wear an evening gown, but not if the party is casual or in the daytime.) Your guests won't say anything, but some will be secretly laughing and thinking that you are being kind of silly, and maybe even that "they just really want to have it all -- they didn't care enough about our presence to have the wedding where we could be included, but they still want us to admire them in their finery." This is one of the tricky things about destination weddings; you have to be careful not to be trying to do the same wedding more than one way. But you can have an absolutely terrific party for your home reception, dressy or not as you prefer. Wedding gowns are for weddings, and yours will have been a different day. Wear a smashing party dress or terrific casual outfit, according to whatever kind of party you choose. (I'd rather wear that than a wedding gown any time.) I like the idea of photos or a video from the wedding, but only if (1) either everyone or practially no one (wedding party and close family excepted) at the reception was invited to the wedding -- otherwise you're showing your B-list friends all the fun the A-list had; and (2) if you do a video, have it running on a loop somewhere where people can go and watch all or part of it as they wish; don't sit them down and give a presentation of the film. This is the same issue as the wedding gown; if you want them to see the ceremony, then have them attend it, but don't exclude them and then force them to watch a video or, worse, a reinactment. As to what you should do and what you should have -- well, your imagination is the limit! A reception is a party. So have whatever kind of party suits your personalities, your budget, and your guests' tastes -- anything from a backyard picnic to a white-tie extravaganza. Although I would, as I said above, avoid any type of pseudo-ceremony -- don't fall into the trap of thinking your guests will feel cheated otherwise; they won't -- it would be great to have the same types of toasts and thank-you speeches and, if you have dancing, wedding dances that you would have at any other wedding reception.