Um no its not rude! I'd love it if someone came by to compliment my hard work.

I think your family's reaction is proof of how isolated people are becoming from their neighbours/community.

I'm like you, not to many gardening buddies to talk to. No you aren't off track, there's no greater compliment then someone taking the time to engage another gardener in conversation about their garden. I think I'm right in thinking after awhile when we look at our gardens all we can see is what is wrong or what needs changing. Seeing my garden through others eyes makes me think maybe it's not so bad after all. Have you ever gone away for the day thinking your garden is a mess but when you get home, it's late afternoon you walk into your garden and think it's an oasis. To have someone actually stop and compliment you on your garden, well, there's no greater compliment in my books.
Annette

An absolute compliment!! It's great when friends and family say ooh, ahh, but when someone who really knows what there doing gives you a compliment, I think that is really special!

Nancy.

Ah, Msscarlet, you could never be rude. : ) And I'm sure you would pick up on the non-verbal cues if someone didn't want to talk or was too busy to stop and chat. I find most gardeners love to talk about their gardens, hence the popularity of these forums. Your DH and DD just need a little more time to adjust.

We're in a semi-rural area, too. No subdivisions or planned communities and almost everyone is on at least 2 1/2 acres, most of which is kept in its natural state. Hardly anyone gardens as I do. So when I see a pretty garden I will often stop to chat with the owner if I think they won't mind. One of my favorite things to do is talk to new gardeners just fixing up their place. We spotted someone this weekend doing that and I told DH I need to stop and see if I have anything they could use. He just smiled and said sure. : )

My DH just goes with the flow. He even gives guided tours when I'm not home to do so. He's built all the fences, arbors, decks and pergola so I think he likes the compliments, too. ; ) My son who lives nearby always checks out the gardens when he comes over and my son in Indiana has become a gardener. Maybe have a little chat with your family and gently let them know how important gardening is to you. Sometimes they just need to hear things from your perspective. Time, patience and love, the same things you give your plants, will bring them around. : )

Diana

I don't have any gardening friends so just to have some one stop to complement my garden and talk about plants would be great.

My husband could care less if a plant is performing outstandingly or dying from the drought. So talking with him is out of the question. Other family members are just about as bad as him.

I think having someone stop to admire your work is the greatest form of flattery.

You can stop by my garden anytime.

faye

I'd love it if a "real gardener" stopped by! I am rural, but in a small neighborhood with a private road, so there isn't any traffic except my neighbors. One neighbor beside me is an award-winning landscape designer, but she doesn't visit anyone and never has (per my other neighbors). Her cottage is for sale, so one of you come buy it! :-) It's 2400 sf on 4+ acres for $485,000; secluded (she has shade) and a cute cottage from the pictures on the real estate ad (never been up close). Okay, I'm wishing too much, I know!

A dear friend who lives an hour away comes here several times a month (or we go there) and she's a real gardener.

There's a gorgeous cottage garden at a farmhouse a few miles away. I would LOVE to get up the nerve to stop and tour that garden! I never see anyone outside working, but I'm not by there in early mornings or late evenings when most of us have to work in our gardens out of the heat. I've thought about riding my bike by there some morning so I could look all out of breath and in need of a break! LOL

Cameron

PS...that's why we share our gardens with each other on the forum! The world is flat on the internet...we're all "neighbors" here.

I am in the same boat as everyone here when they say that what you do is definitely NOT being rude! As a matter of fact I do the same thing and my DH thinks I'm nuts too!

I'm lucky though in the fact that pretty much everyone on my road has some form of garden going... my next door neighbor has a very nice garden that she thinks is overgrown and unsightly but I think it looks quite nice.

Keep it up as I'm sure the lady you were talking to felt great after you left... you probably made her day.

ttfn
Mystic.

msscarlet ~ No you are not rude! You are an encourager and an enabler. You wish for gardening buddies and I don't blame you. I have stopped at people's homes on my way to work when I've seen someone working in gardens that I've admired. They are always pleased and welcoming.

Like Cameron said, *The world is flat on the internet...we're all "neighbors" here. that's why we share our gardens with each other on the forum!*

What a wonderful garden tour you had with a master gardener. I am sorry to hear that she is not well.

Keep up your encouraging and enabling and it will come back to you in lots of ways.

FlowerLady

I bought a 75 year old cottage style house a year ago. It was an adorable old house that no one had cared for in years and years. The house was a mess in a bad state of disrepair. The yard had a peony, some regular hosta, about a half dozen iris and a few shrubs that were still alive and the rest was wall to wall weeds.

I did a MAJOR overhaul on the house (new everything trying to keep the "bones" of the house in tact). I have been working in the yard non-stop since it became warm enough, creating beds, moving beds, trying to get grass going, getting the weeds out, having trees removed and cut back. Last week someone asked me what I do (they meant for a living) and my two year old daughter replied, "Mommy works on our garden."

I have worked SO hard on this house. What is the point of all of this? :-) I am a pretty private person. In general, I would probably have agreed with your DH and DD. However, after I have worked so hard on our home I have found it is amazingly gratifying to share it with the people who stop by that are really interested in it. My viewpoint has changed. It is nice to hear that something that you put so much effort in is noticed by someone and wants to appreciate it with you.

How many times do we drive by a house and think, "that looks fantastic." How many times does the person that did all of that work hear it? I say kudos to you for being bold enough to show someone appreciation for their hard work.

"Never pass up an opportunity to compliment someone"!

That was something my mother preached, and it's something I've said over and over to my own sons.

I see nothing wrong with approaching someone and letting them know how much you appreciate all the time and effort they're putting into their garden and how beautiful it is. That it makes you smile whenever you drive by.

It could be that they are also searching for gardening friends.
Marilyn

It takes a gardener to understand another gardener. If a stranger came by and requested to see my garden - I'd be thrilled! The joy of sharing one's creation is abundant. I always bring bunches of flowers to my local library, give to friends, my martial arts school, and invite people to come by and visit the flowers.
So, are you being rude? Heck no! You most probaly made those people's day.
~Natalie

Like everyone else here, I think it's wonderful that you take the time to compliment others on their gardens. Your statement about not being able to return to the master gardener's house to take pictures was evidence that you are not intrusive. I am sure that the people you visited felt like a million bucks after your visit.

-Sharon

I do the same thing,and i don't care what anyone thinks of it.I've made new friends this way,made swaps with others,and none of that would have happened if i hadn't stopped in the first place.Gardeners enjoy other gardeners compliments and comradie.
Go For It!!!
Kathi

Your DH and DD are probably more introverted than you are. I know I can strike up a conversation with a stranger anywhere. Once, I got separated from my dd and dh at a store, and one said to the other, "Just listen for her voice." LOL

I have complimented people on their gardens before, and if I'm at a garage sale, I always peek at the yard, and people will frequently show me around if they aren't too busy with the sale.
Sue D.

When a lady in my neighborhood stopped by my house this spring to compliment me on my cottage garden, I was thrilled (and even more so since she recognized that I was trying to have a cottage garden). Personally, I am very shy and it would take a lot of effort for me to stop at a stranger's house uninvited and do the same. But that doesn't mean I wouldn't like to.

Mary

not rude at all to go out of your way to pay a complimentto someone..actually...very polite I think. It is good timing you posted this today. I drove by a local home here..small home that always looks great!!! It is right across from our post office and everytime I pass it I think..such a cute tiny cottage with such a nice yard. I wonder if she knows how much it is appreciated....

msscarlet....I would be thrilled if someone stopped by while I was working in the garden just to see and talk. I don't have any gardener friends either and when I talk garden to family and coworkers it doesn't take long for them to get that glazed (when will she shut up) stare. And I have wanted to stop at a home just across town that has gone from weedy shrubby yuk to a well organized well planted oasis of shade. I have seen the woman working there a couple of times but was always in a hurry so couldn't stop Shame on me! We do have a garden club in our town but I am not wealthy enough to be invited in. You can come by and talk garden with me anytime...I would love it.

Bonny
ps...perhaps a small bouquet and a brief visit to the master gardener lady....I have a firend at work who says that a visitor is what most cancer victims need as people tend to stay away.

What a lovely idea, Bonny. You make me ashamed of myself that I would let shyness keep me from telling someone that they have a beautiful garden.

Mary

Bonny, you hit the nail on the head. I would never stop at anyones home UNLESS they were outside working on their garden for obvious reasons. Most important reason is they are in "garden mode" so more apt to be receptive to garden chat, I know they are not sick and taking a nap or busy chasing a 2 year old around the house :)

Bonny, your suggestion to stop by with the flowers is really a wonderful one. I am hesitant though because I have a sinking feeling that she has passed. I went by one day and there were a zillion cars in her yard (which I have never seen) and since that time I have never seen her car there. I have never met her DH so I would feel very awkward if I stopped and he told me she has passed. I would not want to make him feel uncomfortable or remind him of his loss, not that he would need to be reminded, I think you know what I mean.

Sue D - you reminded of a lovely memory. Ottawa - the city I live near to (OK, less so now) had an older, upscale neighbourhood that traditionally has a yard sale on the same weekend every year. A couple of my friends and I make a pilgrimage almost every year. One year, a lady was selling some flowering rushes, and not much else. As I was just getting interested in water gardening, we fell into conversation. She invited us into her backyard, to show us her water garden. Wow!!! I have included a pic without any houses showing on it, but I am sure you can imagine - upscale, old part of the city, we were so thrilled, so honoured to be invited in to see it all. She had terraced her gardens down to the water, and while it was only mid-May, they were full of blooms, and she was very proud of it, and encouraged by our oohs and aahs. We still talk about it.

Nancy.

Here is a link that might be useful: Brown's Inlet

Oh, certainly not wanting to make anyone feel ashamed or guilty. I just wish I had a gardening friend that I could stroll through and share with. This post has made me decide that I will take the next opportunity to stop and talk with the garden lady across town.
Enjoy your gardens and make friends as the opportunity arises
Bonny

Nancy, Those photos were fun to see. I liked the water ones, and the big old buildings were beautiful!

Sue

I wondered how I had missed this post and then I saw that
all this conversation had happened in 2 days.

Back when I was still teaching I walked for an hour every
morning very early, coming home in time to get ready for school. I had the opportunity of seeing beautiful yards and gardens at dawn, but nobody was around to relate to.

In June, when school was over I made invitations which I slipped into mailboxes at dawn inviting the gardeners to
my house. I offered Sat. morning brunch in the garden
or Sun. afternoon "tea" and signed myself "The West Side
Early Morning Garden Inspector." I made things self-serve
and very simple so we could concentrate on what we all loved.

Mostly people were very appreciative. They all were pleased that their work was noticed. A few folks wondered
whether it was some kind of a sales gimmick. I had the surprise to find out that some of the people were folks I knew in the community in other ways and had never known
where they lived or that they were gardeners. (daughter's
5th grade teacher, volunteer painting instructor at the
Senior Center)

Over the ten years since my first garden party I've done it
4 or 5 times; no refreshments any more. I've made friends, traded lots of plant materials, had friends call to see if they could bring a young new gardener over, etc.

Try it, you'll like it.

Chris

{{gwi:653278}}

Oh no, you are not nuts. I consider it an honor when someone stops and wants a closer look at my flowers. I have put a lot of hard work, sweat and fought bugs and I am delighted when someone admires my garden. I had one lady that nearly hit a light pole when looking at my front yard so she decided to stop, rang the doorbell and asked if she could look. I took her on a tour of my yard and she left one happy lady. I often stop when I see someone in their yard and have made a lot of new garden friends. I say if you admire the work of someone's labors, stop and tell them. I know it makes me feel that it is all worth it to know that people like what I have done.
Barb

Not rude at all. On the way to the High School, there is a home with lots of beautiful gardens including the whole street front landscaped with large boulders with plants growing in amongst the crevices. One day, I was driving by and noticed a woman working outside. I pulled right into her driveway in my car and struck up a conversation about her gardens. She was thrilled. (Yes, I'm bold, I guess)

Last week when I was building a rock wall and digging out a new bed, tons of people walking or driving by stopped to tell me how great it was looking. And I absolutely relish moments like that. So keep complimenting your fellow gardeners!! We all deserve it! :)

Not nuts at all. I live on a dirt road on top of a mountain with no near-by neighbors except for my in-laws. She has beautiful gardens and I stop often to walk through them and see what is blooming. We hardly ever have any visitors, not even the in-laws. When my sisters do come visit, they always have to walk through the gardens and I do the same when I go to their houses. My 17 year old son can't for the life of him understand why I do all this planting and hard work when no one comes to see it. To him, I am a true garden geek. But, I am someone and when I come home in the Spring and see a bed full of red tulips and yellow daffies, I am so proud of what I have accomplished. I think I would cry if a stranger did pull up and want to talk garden talk. My DH laughs when I get all excited over a lily blooming for the first time. He's the vegetable gardener; unless it bears tomatoes and peppers, he's really not that into it.
So, thanks for this thread. Instead of just admiring others gardens as I pass by from now on, I think I'll just stop and chat a minute or two if someone is outside. It might just make someones day--I know it would mine.

No, that's not rude ! There's nothing gardeners like better than showing their gardens to fellow gardeners. I have stopped many times to admire the work of others, and I think they truly enjoyed showing off their handiwork to someone who really appreciates it !

Carol

Beauty is in the eye of the beholder....
And a kind word is better spoken than left in thought only.

I've stopped and complimented gardeners before. I've had people stop at my house too; it always puts a bounce in my step the rest of the week.

I got a start on many of my old-fashioned perennials from an elderly neighbor 25 years ago at my starter home. I was a newlywed and working on establishing a veggie patch and flowers in my first house. Mrs. Foxwell walked down to offer advice and starts from her garden. She gave me bee balm and larkspur and irises. She continued to garden, against her children's advice, after her mastectomy. My only advice to her was to wear two pairs of gloves (surgical gloves under her garden gloves) to prevent infection. She was a kind and generous person. I say "was" as she was in her 80's 25 years ago and I moved from that town 15 years ago.

I gently suggest that you take a card and/or a bunch of posies to the house of the master gardener. If she has passed on, her husband will be touched by your kindness and memory of his wife's creativity (even if it touches him to tears, it is good; memories are precious). If she is still with us but in frail health the visit will be appreciated.

Every time I see a bee balm start to open I hear Mrs. Foxwell saying..."see, its the Lord's plant, the crown on his head opening to the flower of redemption." Bee balm flowers do resemble a head with a "crown" as the flower petals start to emerge. I am continuing her legacy; my niece and her friends stopped by my house after we spent most of the day a a lavender festival. I toured the girls around the yard and then gave them slips of oregano, bee balm, thyme, pineapple mint; seeds from money plant, cilantro, and larkspur; and cuttings of lavender. One of the girls went to offer me some money and I declined; saying gardening should be community in the old sense of the word. We share with each other; no sense of a favor given or a favor owed. We are community; we share.

Granite, what a beautiful post. Sincerely. I wish I had had a mentor like your Mrs. Foxwell. The bee balm quote brings a tear to my eye. And your lesson in community for the girls is just perfect. Thank you for sharing your little gems of wisdom.

-Sharon