Go for cozy and use a dark rich color. Make sure you do have alot of layers of artificial light. Overhead+lamps. Our library is not as bright as our family room. We opted for darker richer colors in the library vs. white walls in the family room. I also added lamps even though we have recessed lighting. I would go for a dark teal or navy ( hale navy), but do these colors go with the rest of your decor or are you starting from scratch? A dark brown or charcoal (kendall charcoal or fairview taupe)can also look very nice, so it doesn't necessarily need to be a "color". This is BM kingsport gray. It's a bright room, but even with the drapes closed the color looks great. This is the library that isn't very bright: Compare this to the family room which is very bright so can handle white walls: This post was edited by pps7 on Tue, Jul 2, 13 at 20:52

It wasn't all that complicated Carla, so I'll list it here -- and I'm only suggesting it for someone married to a narcissist. 1. A narcissist will need to feel like he's won, so my best advice is don't even waste your time trying to "take him to the cleaners" or "make him pay," because to "win" in the traditional monetary sense, you would have to spend more time, money and emotional energy on lawyers than you could imagine. And since most narcissists are so good with their 'public faces,' you are unlikely to be able to convince the judge that they're awful unless you have aLOT of hard evidence. The differance between a "fair" and "you-win" settlement is not likely to be big enough money to change your life. So go for FAIR - not more. Go for half of the marital assets, your state's "standard" support arrangements, and a pleasant, quick, settlement. He will *need* to be able to walk away feeling like he's won. Remember that for you, walking away IS winning. 2. Since he will need to feel like he's won, find out what it is that will let him feel this way. Realize that it *might not* be anything you would even want. It'll probably be something visible - might be money, the house, the 'good' car, artwork, furnishings, even certain child custody provisions that preserve the appearance of him being a good dad. You'll need to know what he wants, and if it's something that's not particularly important to you, don't tip off your hand that you don't care about it. Again, it's not so much that he needs to win -- it's that he needs to be able to *feel* like he won. Let him "win" something visible, and make a loud and visible show of him winning-you losing. (You know how much he likes that.) 3. Deep down, most narcissists feel really lousy about themselves. At some level, they feel they are worthless frauds, and this is why they work so hard to buff up their public images. In my opinion, their greatest fear at this point in time is that you will somehow reveal to the world what a fake they really are. So don't do it! This will be very difficult because you will probably have years of pent-up anger at your abuser, and venting that anger is cathartic. But make a list, build a file, gather your evidence and ammunition -- anything that would embarass him to the world and invalidate the picture he tries to paint. (sexual performance issues are biggies, social embarassments, career slights) Then sit on it. Tell him that all you want is a FAIR settlement with no mudslinging public trial that allows you both to walk away with your DIGNITY, SELF-RESPECT and PRIVACY intact. Let him act like it's you who would be embarassed if all your secrets came tumbling out, because that's important to him. But realize that if you expose him to the world as a fraud (like the world cares!), you've blown your best weapon. That's my two cents --

What an incredibly helpful thread! It has saved me from returning to panic mode. About a week ago I saw the spray-painted outline of the planned island for our new kitchen and it was 10 inches less in width than I had been told. (I had been told 46" wide and it was drawn as 36".) After seeing all of the posts and photos, I will be very content with 9' X 42"(we were able to add 6" back in without losing too much aisle space) . Thank you to all posters!

What a difference between the quality of Schlage and Baldwin (had Schlage in previous house). Baldwin is solid and will last as long as the door. Have the same colour family as you pictured (an older bronze) and love it. Goes with everything. When we moved in there were Schlage locks on the exterior doors so we decided to upgrade the doors to the outside and garage and went with Baldwin. Because it was hardware to the outside we went with the "Estate" quality in the Baldwin line. But for interior doors, I would have chose the medium quality. Also, just a heads up....for doors that lock I would suggest avoiding the ones that lock automatically when the door is closed. Very easy to lock yourself out. Suggest using a key to lock the door when leaving. Ours was already an oval theme so we kept that and are fine with it, but I think the square will also look super!