I also try to be honest, but I fail sometimes. Each day is new, a gift of life to do the right thing. Hopefully I learn from my mistakes and move forward, not backward.

FlowerLady

Hi Annette,

Guess we're finding out this week that CG is so diverse that no one stands alone. Take heart.

Wish I had your integrity: I, too, strive to be honest, but have been known to not readily admit my mistakes with folks whose opinion I value but am unsure of acceptance. Â Know I've screwed up, but hope they won't notice ;)

That said, with closest friends we trust to tell the truth when asking "Do these pants make me look fat?" My oblique reply might be "you look hot"Â in another outfit, but then bottom line (pun intended) is "yes". Doesn't mean I love them any the less. What serves our blunt selves well is "Don't ask a question to which you don't want the answer." Effort made to praise the good without being asked.

Like Flower's comment: we fail, yet tomorrow is fresh and new.

Cheers!

Ana

)))) Pat on the back, Annette.

Gossip is hurtful and has damaging effects. It goes on so much in my workplace it makes my head spin. Then the rumors start and moral goes down. So damn frustrating.

I believe gossips to be shallow people who have nothing better to do than hurt others when in fact they do it for one of several reasons; to feel superior, or feel like part of the group, for attention, for control or power, of jealousy, need for revenge or out of just plain boredom. It all ads up to low self esteem. I pay them no heed.

I strongly believe in William Shakespeare's -- To Thine Own Self Be True.

I love the segment in the movie A Few Good Men where Jack Nicholson who plays Col.Jessep says: You can't handle the truth! I giggle everytime I think of him saying that.

Amen, Flower! Great outlook on life.

Edna

I wish I could see honesty as black or white. I seem to stumble around in a gray area quite a bit, but I to TRY to be honest.

My mom raised us not to spread gossip, to be tolerant of anyone who was in any way "different" than we were, and to be intolerant of people who hurt others "for fun". She also taught us to be kind and compassionate. Making someone else feel uncomfortable was also NOT OK. For some strange reason, this presented a dilemma to me through my teen years. While I can honestly say I NEVER participated in making fun of others or spreading rumors, I really didn't see any polite way of extracating myself from the company of people who WERE.
This changed one day in my freshman year at college. One student, who wore the same outfit nearly every day, was absent. The professor used this student as a comic example in the days lesson, to the amusement of the class. At that moment something in me snapped. I closed my book with a bang and walked out of the room. Moments later I was joined in the hallway by a dozen others, followed by the professor who apologized for his inexcusable behavior. I learned several lessons that day, the most valuable to me was that one person can make a difference. I think it was Edmund Burke who said, "All that is necessary for evil to triumph is for good men to do nothing".

Patti

Patti, I love that quote from Burke. I remember hearing it a few years ago and writing it down. I like what you did in that classroom, too.

Honesty. It gets me in trouble. You see, for the longest time I was a very quiet person. The kid who sat in the back of class and never said a word. I had lots of things to say, but no one to say them to.
Now, while I am still a person who likes his privacy, I am very vocal with my thoughts. I LOVE giving my opinion on things.
"That music is awful! How can you listen to that?"
"&*(%T^ H*G%HJ( HJ(%EFY!!!" - yelling at people when driving.
"interesting shirt there, bob"

Thing is, I am twice as honest with myself. When I make mistakes I wholeheartedly take the blame and do what needs to be done to fix it, or make sure it doesn't happen again.
All told, I have found life to be easier this way.
People seem to like having me around, if only to see what I'm going to say. One thing I can't stand is false sentiments. If you don't mean it, don't say it. If you DO mean it, but it may not be appropriate to say it, think twice before doing so.
I think gossip is just awful. If you have something to say about someone, say it TO them. Work it out. See whats true and whats not. I hate letting things fester when a solution is always there.
Heck, I even have a hard time with harmless white lies to my son. I HATE perpetuating the whole Santa myth, but childhood nostalgia makes me do it. I just hope he figures it out soon so I don't have to keep it up.

Thanks guys for responding to my post, I think over the last few months I've come to think of you all as friends. We agree on a lot of things but more importantly we can agree to disagree without going around the bend, this is such a great forum.
I like mrmorton was very quiet when young, and very, very shy, mostly because my home life was such as it was. Before we go any farther let me say I am not the poor me type, never have been, never will be.

Yes, I was the kid on the block who was made fun of, so growing up was kind of tough for me. There came a turning point in my life, at 16 I left school and found myself a decent job, being able to support myself made a big difference in my life, did a lot for my self esteem.
By this time I had developed a thick skin, words were just words and I could shrug them off.
I've made my share of mistakes, a couple of dousies, Hmmm, I don't think that's a word, oh well, I'll probably make a lot more before I'm done, I only hope I can learn by them.
The time when I really could have used a helping hand, I found it, it was right there under my nose all the time, right at the end of my arm. After this discovery everything started coming up roses.
For awhile I kind of wallowed around, yes I listened to gossip, not stepping up to the plate to say what I really felt, like Patti, one day I snapped, out came exactly what I felt about what was being said, and after that and to this day I have a good feeling about myself.

Yes, I can be very blunt, but, I will take the person aside if possible before shaking my finger at them or... as to not cause them embarrassment in front of others. I do leave them food for thought though.
I keep thinking about that child who like me growing up is having to deal with the cruelty of gossip. When they come to that fork in the road like I did, they have the strength to choose the right one.

Annette

Patti ~ I think it was Edmund Burke who said, "All that is necessary for evil to triumph is for good men to do nothing".

That is a wonderful quote.

Flowerlady