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sammyqc

Off Topic: Corrupted Wishes

16 years ago

This is being done at another forum that I frequent and it is absolutely hilarious. If anyone is interested, please join in.

"Instructions:

Step 1: Corrupt the wish of the above poster.

Step 2: Make your own wish.

Poster 1: I wish I had a pony.

Poster 2: Granted, but it's an evil flesh-eating pony. I wish I had superpowers.

Poster 3: Granted, but the powers drain your life-force, causing you to age at an accelerated rate. I wish for $1,000,000.

Poster 4: Granted, but your credit cards are stolen, and you spend the million paying back fraudulent charges. I wish I was ruler of the universe. etc."

So I'll start with my wish.

I wish that darn cat would stop peeing in my large plant pots.

Comments (93)

  • 16 years ago
    last modified: 9 years ago

    Your wish is granted you got an excellent grade on your history exam....oops...the teacher gave you somebody else's grade...you start the class over!

    I wish it were spring to...

  • 16 years ago
    last modified: 9 years ago

    Your wish is granted. It became spring to all of Canada. But it was only for a quarter of a second at 1 AM central time. Hope you were awake for it and enjoyed it.

    I wish that it would get a bit cooler here in S. Mississippi. I'm going to have someone see about the freon today.
    Jim

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  • 16 years ago
    last modified: 9 years ago

    Wish Granted Jim..Now it is a lovely 30 below in Southern Mississippi..all your plants have died, pipes have frozen and cracked, and you are without heat, having to burn all your dead plants to keep warm.
    I wish my cat would stop digging in my heliconia pots.

  • 16 years ago
    last modified: 9 years ago

    Granted.

    But now they're digging in the Brug pots, your flower beds, the cabinets, and digging and raiding the fridge and the pantry. They're making creme briole, want some? (grin)

    I wish these funky Brug cuttings wouldn't be so hard to root!

  • 16 years ago
    last modified: 9 years ago

    mmmm creme briole..heck if my cat can make I'll have it, lol.
    Granted, but then the roots grow so fast that they take over your whole house, and even root around you..you can't cut fast enough to escape them.

    I wish for the schools to closed tomorrow due to the weather..don't wanna wake up early and drive the kids. Bad enough they aren't getting an early dismissal today.

  • 16 years ago
    last modified: 9 years ago

    Wish Granted..You slept in... BUT the kids found the expresso machine and the neighbors gave each one of them a new puppy!
    OH look that damn Cat had expresso too!

    Right now I wish that &*%$%& chain saw would start..LOL

  • 16 years ago
    last modified: 9 years ago

    Your wish is granted..But now your chain saw is out of control cutting all your Brugs and other plants down! Sorry...

    I wish I could get my hands on another Brug for my collection..

  • 16 years ago
    last modified: 9 years ago

    ROFLMFAO Chena!!

    Rigo, wish granted, BUT...the brug you get turns into a giant carnivorous mutant just like the giant Venus Fly Trap from Lil Shop Of Horrors, and you have to start feeding it people..

    I wish I had a maid

  • 16 years ago
    last modified: 9 years ago

    Granted but the maid went and sprayed all the brug leaves with Pledge trying to shine them up and they all fell off so then she poured those left over expressos on them in hope to save them and the plants died.

    I wish these darn buds on my Victoria Passie would open, I been waiting near 3 weeks lol.

  • 16 years ago
    last modified: 9 years ago

    Granted, but you were sleeping when they did and they died and fell off by morning, and they did leave a intoxicating aroma around the house but you slept through that to...sorry for the tease...I'm sure you'd love to sleep in.

    I wish I had a bottle of Panama Jacks here (an irish cream).

  • 16 years ago
    last modified: 9 years ago

    You've got your bottle! But they started making them with tamper-proof caps and you can't open it. Oh well...

    I wish they would come and get the humungous tree stumps removed in my backyard.

  • 16 years ago
    last modified: 9 years ago

    Granted - but they've left holes the size of swimming pools - come to think of it - you haven't seen your poodle lately

    Wait. . . .that really does happen! (grin)

    I wishhhhhhhhhhhhhhh. . . . .I wish I could get a large tree to grow to shade the Brugs.

  • 16 years ago
    last modified: 9 years ago

    Your wish is granted and you have the most beautiful Ash tree growing to shade your brugs. Unfortunately you will not be needing it. The tree was infested with brug eatting bugs and you lost all the ones you were trying to shade. Then the ash tree turns up it's toes and nose and starts to die. Along comes a big gust of wind, and the tree falls right across your new Jag your husband bought you. I hope that wasn't anyone you knew sitting in the passanger seat. Oh wow, it was just a doll that looked human. That was a close call.

    I wish I could come up with something better to do with my time than loggin onto Garden Web and reading these corrupted wishes.

  • 16 years ago
    last modified: 9 years ago

    Your wish is granted...now the moderator isn't letting you log back on and now you'll never know what Santa brought everybodyor how all your garden buddies are coming along. Your all bummed out cause there is nothing better to do with your time then to spend it with us. But now the moderator let's you back on and has made you the moderator, and you have to read every post so as to protect everybodies feelings, 24/7!

    This is a true story, but please...moderator...don't keep her off too long. She wanted somebody to corrupt her wish, so she'd be stuck with us.

    I wish gardenweb would let Marian, a very lovely and kind hearted woman back on gardenweb.

  • 16 years ago
    last modified: 9 years ago

    Your wish is granted - Gardenweb has let Marian log in & come back to her brug friends. She's been emailing others asking if THEY can log on! Too funny! Poor thing! She's such a delight to all! And she really NEEDS to know what's going on with the Secret Santa gifts!

    I wish for EVERYONE to have a Safe & Happy Holiday Season! :)

  • 16 years ago
    last modified: 9 years ago

    Okay Marion can't log on..LOL REALLY!! So I will send this for her..

    Well I don't know if it's just my computer or what but I can not log back onto Garden Web. LOL
    Under the Corrupted wishes link I wrote something along the lines, I wish I had something better to do than log onto Garden Web and read the corrupted wishes link.
    Now I can't log onto Garden Web at all. LOL
    I hope that my wish wasn't granted. Or I may not be able to log back on. Hopefully Garden Web is having some other kind of problem.
    I'll just be sick if I can't see what all my garden buddies are doing.
    It will also be hard to see if everyone is making good on their Secret Santa exchanges.
    Bah-Hum-Bug I'm bummed right now.
    Please let me know if it's Garden Web or if someone granted my wish. LOL
    Frowning and sticking out bottom lip. This is the PITS.
    Marian

    My wish is for Sandy to put the haint's and boogers to bed so I can log on!
    (Okay I made that part up..LOL)
    Kylie

  • 16 years ago
    last modified: 9 years ago

    Poor thing emailed me too. Ok somebody let her back in!

  • 16 years ago
    last modified: 9 years ago

    Oh no, I got the same email and come on here. Where is your sense of humor?? Marion's is great and she means no harm???

  • 16 years ago
    last modified: 9 years ago

    Tell her to clear her cache (hx of old web pages etc.) maybe she can get back on...

  • 16 years ago
    last modified: 9 years ago

    I had a email from her also. I hope she can log back on soon, so she can keep up with the Secret Santa exchanges.
    We are wishing for you to come back!

  • 16 years ago
    last modified: 9 years ago

    I had an email from her to she is such a wonderful person,PLLLease let her back on we all miss her.
    Bonnie

  • 16 years ago
    last modified: 9 years ago

    Gee it looks as tho all your wishes allowed me to log back on. Hey, if nothing else that will make ME think twice about what I'm wishing for even if it is under corrupted Wishes. That was hard on an old lady. (grin)

    It was kind of funny, but in a weired kind of way. You know you can go to other garden sites but it's just not the same as all my wonderful friends on Garden Web.

    Santa I promise I'll be good the rest of the year. Thank goodness that's only a few more days.

    Got to get ready for Church. I don't know who pulled the magical string to allow me back on so a big 'THANK YOU' to everyone.

    My wish is that all of my friends on here have a Merry Christmas and safe holiday season.Oh and for a little snow here in TEXAS.

    Marian

  • 16 years ago
    last modified: 9 years ago

    OK, I'm a bit scared to grant your next wish Marian, seeing as how the last one went..but here goes..
    Wish Granted! Everyone has a merry christmas, happy healthy and safe..BUT the lil bit o snow you asked for turned into a freak blizzard that dumped 6 feet of snow in your town.

    I wish my basment wasn't collecting water right now from this crappy weather. Does the fun ever end?

  • 16 years ago
    last modified: 9 years ago

    Marian--Glad you are back on--that was weird!! You better watch out for what you wish for hehe! I wish all my friends here a VERY Merry Christmas and good weather throughout the winter

  • 16 years ago
    last modified: 9 years ago

    Daniella:

    Granted - it's not your basement gathering water anymore - that's FULL! NOW It's your sink, the tub, the shower, the washer. . .eeeeeeeeeeek!

    Maybe we shouldn't do this any more given marian's experience. LOL. . . .

    I wish I could have a never ending pile of dirt to plant stuff in!

  • 16 years ago
    last modified: 9 years ago

    Dweeb, your wish is granted and the pile never ends, but you have Alzheimer's and it just SEEMS like the pile never ends because you keep getting lost. But you are safe and happy and DH comes to get you for lunch and dinner and takes you happily to bed at bedtime.

    I wish that hunger in the world would end.

    Jim

  • 16 years ago
    last modified: 9 years ago

    Wish Granted Jim, but then global warming effects hit really badly and there are no more crops for people to eat, so everyone is hungry again..but they can't be because of your wish..SO..everyone turns to cannibalism to live, until you are the only survivor..Now you are alone and starving.

    I wish the damn vet wasn't so expensive.

  • 16 years ago
    last modified: 9 years ago

    Okay since y'll are granting wishes, I'd like a few cabanna boys and live in the tropical island please!! Some nice place where it's warm and the Brugmansias will grow as I can't leave the collection behind!!

  • 16 years ago
    last modified: 9 years ago

    Your wish is granted KHT but the cabanna boys are all homosexual and you can only look but not touch and they keep taking your beatiful brugs to give each other as gifts for sexual favors, lol.
    I wish I could stay home from work today and take care of my plants.

  • 16 years ago
    last modified: 9 years ago

    Your wish is granted FFF, the boss says take the day off, you tend to your plants drinking Margarita's and humming your favorite tunes. You feed them all the good stuff, and they grow and grow and grow. You gotta trim them back but you can't throw out a single cutting so they multiply exponentially. And now you have too much to take care of they soak up your every day. Life is passing you by but they keep on growing. Your enslaved to your plants.

    I wish my brugs would pot themselves up.

  • 16 years ago
    last modified: 9 years ago

    F4f-Ok so all the gay cabanna boys rolling about has caused a great amount of um -soil compaction-(eesh) and nothing will grow where the once lush brug jungle grew.

  • 16 years ago
    last modified: 9 years ago

    rotfl...@karma watching the gay cabana boys on brug island!!
    Wish granted but the brugs potted themselves up and ran off with the gay cabanana boys to karma's house!
    I wish Christmas was over already...(I know I am a scrooge for saying that LOL)

  • 16 years ago
    last modified: 9 years ago

    Sandy your wish is granted. They potted themselves in every sink in the house (they liked the good drainage) and can water themselves whenever they want, lol. SJN Christmas is over and now you have to clean up all the mess twice since it will be over again next week, lol.

  • 16 years ago
    last modified: 9 years ago

    Now fool4flowers, that sure isn't pollically correct in saying they have to be gay, if you know me that isn't going to happen!!! I'm for diversity here! Just tell your boss you are on a mission in the PNW to help a flooded friend keep her Brug house with power, that would cut it. Or I can write you and excuse?
    SJN, Christmas isn't happening, close your eyes and tap your heels together three times.

  • 16 years ago
    last modified: 9 years ago

    Oh, gosh KHT are you really flooded? I hope not and I hope I didn't offend anyone with my comment. It was strictly a corrupted wish thing. I don't have anything against diversity either. I wish everyone would get their wishes granted for real.

  • 16 years ago
    last modified: 9 years ago

    It's okay fool4flowers, I'm not picky as long as they are good looking cabanna boys!! LOL
    I had to put the wadders on to get to the shed. It's raining again!! Silly Mother Nature, the ground is soaking wet!!

  • 16 years ago
    last modified: 9 years ago

    I did get my wish for real. I did well on my history final. Even brought my grade up from a B+ to an A-. I was so happy!!!

    Mary

  • 16 years ago
    last modified: 9 years ago

    Yeah maemae! Congratulations. I always hated history when I was in school, it seemed like I would always get some boring teacher who would sit on top of his desk and talk in a montone voice! Later on I found that I really love history. Now I watch the history channel all the time~it is more interesting lol..
    Karma I can't believe you are flooding, be careful out there getting power to the brug house-hope you dont have to mess with anything electical in high/flood water.

  • 16 years ago
    last modified: 9 years ago

    Thats great Mary. I always loved history but had one teacher that made me so mad. She didn't like one of my friends and tried to flunk me on an essay exam because I wouldn't not be friends with the girl. I USED to have photographic memory and had to take my test and my notes to the principal and ague my case. He told her if anything I should be accused of cheating since I had written nearly word for word her notes she had given out in class, lol. I passed but she hated me forever and took it out of my kids when they got to high school. Back I went to the principals office and told them I didn't want either of my kids in her classes ever. The old bat. I wish she would retire! KHT I wish your flooding would go away.

  • 16 years ago
    last modified: 9 years ago

    Daniella, you are so funny! Your wish is granted and the damn vet is not so expensive, but the vet moved to New Orleans and became an exotic dancer. But you've lost your eyesight and the feeling in your hands and now must put the mange medicine on all the dogs with your tongue, which finally gets so dry it sticks to a particularly mangy spot on one of the dog's ears. Your hubby is taking you to the ER, and you're thinking how you'll explain this at the hospital and how you'll look carrying the dog.

    I wish that all crime would end instantly.

    Jim

  • 16 years ago
    last modified: 9 years ago

    ROTFLMFAO JIM!!!!!!!!!!!! First off, if you'd ever see my vet, OMG!! O lordy the mange thing is freakin hysterical!! I was just laughing so hard & loud my 3 year old came running in to see what was so funny..

    OK Jim, wish granted.. as of this second there is no more crime (I can't stop laughing)..but lately your recently reformed o so kind wifey had been having some bad urges you didn't know about, and you discover that your brugs have been growing so amazingly well due to the fact that he/she was burying bodies under them..great fert obviously..guess she wasn't so reformed..but don't worry cuz now she totally is..there's no more crime. Aren't you lucky that was your wish, you saved yourself, you were to be the next victim.

    I wish someone else around this house would do housework besides me..be nice for someone to take the xmas decorations down for me when its bitter cold in Jan.

  • 16 years ago
    last modified: 9 years ago

    MaeMae - I'm glad you did so well on your exam. I did say a prayer for you as I was playfully corrupting your wish.

    Oxmyx - Your wife was hauled away for crimes already committed. Good luck doing all her work and your own!

    Danielle - Your wish is granted, everybody's doing almost all your housework. But not like you'd do it. There's still scraps and oil on the 'cleaned' dishes. They cleaned the carpet but left the water underneath...now there's mold growing but hey, nobody can 'see' it. The vaccuuming is done but the bag was full and it shot dirt and little critters up on all the furniture. They did dust but before they vaccuumed. The bathroom they left for you. Dinner was served, but they didn't know the leftover moldy thing in the fridge was NOT something edible.
    Oh yes, greedy for a second wish are you?...lol
    Your wish is granted, ;your decorations will be down in January. Somebody came around and stole them all!

    I'm glad God know what I'm doing here...lol.

    I wish I could travel to Hawaii, Egypt and mostly Jerusalem.
    I was into archaeology, secretary and vice-president in the 5th year of the Ontario Archaeology Society - Windsor Chapter. I'll never get to dig, but I'd sure like to go.
    Hawaii's just to go to dwell amidst their vegetation. God loves a gardener.

  • 16 years ago
    last modified: 9 years ago

    Well gang, I have had a day and a half. Thanks fool4flowers for that shoulder, I really needed to chat with someone and you were there!! It's still raining and the water is cascading across the soil!! I blew 2 of the circuit breakers, the whole north side of the house was black, no garage door and couldn't get an electrician until Friday. I had to take the extension cord from one end of the house to shut the garage door by climbing up on the calssic car in the garage. Yep I fell off it, too Thank goodness DS has some great friends!! The power is back on and no loss in the Brug house!! No waiting until Friday either!! I won't wish my day on anyone, well . . . . .

  • 16 years ago
    last modified: 9 years ago

    Karma - I'm so sorry to hear that.

    You're ok, right? I hope it stops raining on you. Is it supposed to stop any time soon?

  • 16 years ago
    last modified: 9 years ago

    Karma.. I will take your day and make you some tea!!!
    Blessings!!!!
    Kylie

  • 16 years ago
    last modified: 9 years ago

    sandy seeds' wish granted: "I wish I could travel to Hawaii, Egypt and mostly Jerusalem" You went to Hawaii and there was a tsunami- all the plants were uprooted and floating all over the place so you left for Eygpt, while touring the pyramids, you discovered it was the exact time in history for the 'curse' of the scarob beetles. They came out of the ground by the millions and scurried up your pant legs..you ran out screaming--"take me to Jerusalem!!!"
    I wish you all a Merry Christmas and a prosperous gardening year in 2008!

  • 16 years ago
    last modified: 9 years ago

    Thanks dweeb and chena, just nursing a sore arm! I believe in Santa when he comes wearing his tool belt, forget the cabanna boys!! Got to keep those babies from freezing and you all would have had a good laugh to see this guy's face when he saw what was in the brug and greenhouse. He just stood there with his mouth wide open, thank goodness none were in bloom. He got to see a dead bloom and I had to explain them, he is coming back to do some light moving for us!! ; )

  • 16 years ago
    last modified: 9 years ago

    Your welcome to vent to me anytime KHT. I am glad all is well and it looks like you have corrupted another poor soul into loving brugs, lol. Glad you will have some help. When your done with him send him my way, lol.

  • 16 years ago
    last modified: 9 years ago

    LOL Kht

    Glad to hear that even injured - you're spreading the joy and addiction. LOL. . . .

    Although, nothing wrong with a good looking "cabana" guy in a tool belt. . .(very big grin)

    Put a red santa hat on him. . . .

    Ah, Mr.? I think I've got a clogged drain over there - well if it isn't clogged, gimme 5 minutes, it will be! (grin)

    And I think there's a (SMASH!) problem with this light switch now? (very big grin)

  • 16 years ago
    last modified: 9 years ago

    And so, Sandi, like SJN said, the scarab beetles went running up your legs and you went screaming, "Take me to Jerusalem!"

    Fortunately for you, the beetles were flying beetles, and they en masse lifted you off the groundtoward Jerusalem. Alas, however, they were still only on your legs and you were flying upside down.

    Equally unfortunate, they had not flown with a person before and panicked, all running together for comfort, but the gathering was in your crotch, and you also panicked, in addition to a very uncomfy upside-down flight to Jerusalem.

    But fortunately as both you and the beetles were screaming, they had the good judgement to settle you and themselves down right next to the wailing wall in Jerusalem, and your collective cries fit in well at the wailing wall.

    Unfortunately, you did not have a prayer to stick in a crack in the wailing wall, and a group of people gathered around you as you and the beetles became the center of attention, embarrassing both you and them.

    But fortunately one of the men huddled around you said something in Hebrew, distracting you and the beetles under your pants. Both you and the beetles said, "Huh?" at the same time, and the beetles all ran out your pants legs and hopped up on your knees to look at the young man who was speaking to you.

    Unfortunately, the young man young man had a beetle phobia and typically handled his anxiety by sucking his left thumb and picking his nose with his right index finger, and he fell on his back with a panic attack as people pointed at him.

    Fortunately a very handsome young man looked at you and realized that you are drop dead gorgeous and leaned over and lifted you and the beetles and kissed you passionately as the people and the beetles cheered.

    Your fear of the beetles left you, as you became grateful to them for bringing you here,and you introduced them to the very handsome young man, who was actually a prince.

    Unfortunately the beetles were hungry from the flight and equally unfortunately whispered in your left ear that they were dung beetles and could they please have lunch. You were so grateful to them that you and the prince,who didn't have any hangups about that sort of thing, took them to lunch at a pile near the roadside.

    But fortunately you and the prince had a wild torrid love affair and after a week you revealed to him that you always wanted to go to Hawaii. The prince jumped with joy into the air and told you that going to Hawaii had always been his secret dream, but that he had always wanted it to be with a group, and now he had a group with you and the beetles.

    Unfortunately, as all of you are flying to Oahu there must be food for all to eat on the long trip. Felling kindly toward the beetles, you have carried a sack of sh** for them, which you have suspended from your belt and placed them in it.

    But fortunately, the prince is not like many men, who would leave you holding the bag, as it were. And beside, he is grateful to the beetles as well, and he lifts the bag from your belt and places it gently and with respect on a pillow across the aisle.

    You are very grateful that this lovely person respects your sack of sh** that you have been carrying from your past, as he knows that we all have a sack of sh** from our pasts.

    And the prince loves you just like you are, and you lean back in your comfortable leather seat and looking out at the clouds, with a profound sense of comfort in knowing that you do not need to be any better than you are for the prince to love you and knowing that you will learn to love his sack too, even as the Father of the universe loves us and the sack of sh** we all carry from our past.

    Merry Christmas and Hanukuh to all. You have brought joy and love to my life.

    Jim

    And now I wish that all of the daffodil bulbs that I have been frantically planting do indeed bloom and are gorgeous this spring.