Painful decision

14 years ago

I have to make a painful decision. Eirn went in for his annual blood work today (he'll be 15 on Friday). He was diagnosed with a baseball size tumor in his bladder. He also has Cushings disease and the growths on his body are spreading. The vet said it's time to let go. I'm having a really tough time with this. :-(

Edna

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Comments (45)

aftermidnight Zone7b B.C. Canada
14 years ago
(((Edna))), my heart goes out to you, I was in the same place last August, my long time sidekick of 14 years developed stomach cancer. After a year of one Vet telling me it was just hairballs we decided to change Vets, one that is just across the road from us. We did numerous blood tests and meds but it wasn't until exploratory surgery and a biopsy, then the dreaded phone call... I had to let her go, I could have brought my kitty home but she would have been in so much pain. I just couldn't do that to her. She is out of pain now and I have all my memories of what a treasure she was. She still has a place in my heart and always will. So I know where you're coming from.

Annette
todancewithwolves
Original Author
14 years ago
Oh gosh Annette, I've been through this before and it's never easy.

He came to work with me today. On the way home today I stopped at the church and brought him in. We went right up to the alter and knelt. He sat right next to me and didn't move a muscle. We said a prayer together, sprinkled him good with holy water and left.
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trailrunner
14 years ago
I am so sorry for your sorrow. I took comfort from all the kind words and generous thoughts that friends posted here. May you and Eirn share a peaceful time before he must go on. c
Vikki1747
14 years ago
Oh bless his heart - such a pretty dog - I love cocker's. You have to keep telling yourself that Erin has had a wonderful life and doesn't deserve to spend what is left of it in pain. We just made the same tuff decision 2 weeks ago. Our vet was wonderful, reassuring us that putting Jodie (she was 15 this year also) to sleep was the right thing to do. We miss her like crazy but, like Annette said, she is out of pain now and we have her memory to cherish.

Big (((hug))) to you Edna.
Vikki
lorna-organic
14 years ago
I'm sorry, Edna. It is a difficult judgement call. I usually make my decision according to when the light is no longer present in my pet's eyes, or if there is suffering. Does Eirn still have a spark in his eyes?

Some vets will come to your home. I think it is more peaceful and comfortable for the pet that way. I'll invoke St. Francis to help you know what is best.

Lorna
midnightsmum (Z4, ON)
14 years ago
Oh, gosh. My 'big sister' when I was a child was Bonnie, a red cocker. She was 3 when I came along, and hated me!! I know what they say about dogs with an infant, and thank God my parents either didn't know, or ignored the advice. When I was about 8 months, so my Mum said, I was in my carriage in the dining room, while she vacuumed the living room. Bonnie came in and started worrying at her, charging at the vacuum, etc., which was not something she normally did, so Mum finally gave up and turned the vac off. It was then that she heard my choking on the carrots I'd had for lunch. If that Dog had not done that, I wouldn't be writing this, and she could have had all of the attention back - hmmmmmmm. Only a dog. When I was about 11, Bonnie and I , now sisters forever, were in the back of the property, having a great walk. I was letting her walk off the leash, and then bent to pick it up, not noticing the branches in my way. So, I rammed a twig into my cornea, and was pretty much blinded, what with the tears and all. I did, however, have hold of the lead, and Bonnie, god bless her, led me back to the house. She died when I was 13, in her sleep. I am tearing up now, thinking about her, you know. A couple of months later, I came down late for breakfast on a Saturday, and said to Mum, why didn't you let Bonnie out this am, I heard her pacing......Mum said, honey, she's dead. I'll never forget that as long as I live.

They become such a part of the family - my heart goes out to you and your family. Erin's romping in a field of flowers and tall grass, patiently waiting for you to come along.

Nancy, who has tears streaming down her face.
proudgm_03
14 years ago
Edna, my heart goes out to you. I had to have my precious Lady put down last year. Her kidneys were failing, she could barely walk, and was in terrible pain. I watched her one morning as she lay in the sun on the porch in her own urine and decided that no matter how much I wanted her to be with me I owed her more than that kind of life. I went out to tell her goodbye and I could see in her eyes that she was ready to go. I knew what an emotional wreck I would be so I told my husband to take her to the vet. He sat and held her hand as she passed.

This is so hard to write, even now. I miss her dearly. But I know that where she is now she is not in any pain.
Steveningen
14 years ago
Oh Edna, I'm so sorry to read this. I know this pain and it isn't easy. What you do for your companion you do out of love and compassion. Hard as it is right now you'll be able to live with yourself knowing you did the right thing. But it really hurts and I understand.

Steven
FlowerLady6
14 years ago
Dearest Cousin Edna ~ That is such a hard decision, yet one that will ease your little friend's suffering. (We've had to do this too.) I just loved your sweet story of taking Eirn to church, praying and sprinkling him good with hold water. Bless his and your hearts. You are in my thoughts and prayers.

Hugs ~ Cousin Flower
PattiOH
14 years ago
Hugs and prayers to you Edna,
A painful decision indeed, and one I've had to make many times too. The vets have always been wonderful about giving me as much time as I wanted to "say good bye" to our pets. I've looked into their big, loving eyes and talked and sang and recited poems and cried buckets. I played in the vet's sink with our cat who loved the water. In the end I never had a single moment of regret that I did what had to be done.

I'm so sorry that you have to go through this pain, Edna, but I'm also thinking what a wonderful, happy life Eirn has had with you! A very lucky fellow.

More hugs,
Patti
faltered
14 years ago
Oh Edna, I'm so sorry. We're here for you. *hugs*

Tracy
PRO
Nell Jean
14 years ago
Bless your hearts. I recently took our beloved Curly, and held his little head while he went to sleep. He's buried under a pecan tree out back.

My husband, in such denial, could not make a decision. Once it was all over, he soon began to say how we should have made the dog 'comfortable' much sooner because in retrospect he realized the suffering the dog experienced during his last days.

Such a sad time. As Nancy said they're part of the family.

Nell
solana
14 years ago
Ah Edna. Such a difficult decision. I think Lorna has the right idea: is there still a spark in his eye, thump of tail when you come into the room, no pain or loss of dignity?

I've gone both routes, letting kitty die confused from stroke but painless in my lap at home, stroking dog's head at vet's. Trust your instincts just as Eirn trusts you.

Hugs, Ana
Tenderheart_Zone5
14 years ago
I'm so sorry, Edna. Eirn knows how much you love him, though, and will understand. You and your pooch are in my thoughts.

Love,

Val
todancewithwolves
Original Author
14 years ago
Teary eyed reading all your posts. I'm so sorry to those who have lost a furry friend recently. I've been through this before. I thought I would be strong, but I was wrong, it never gets easier.

I'm taking time off work to spend quality time with him. He still has a spark. He barks at me if I don't give him a snack and he barks non-stop when we sit down for dinner. He still holds his tail up and wiggles it. He's such a trooper.

Tender, it's good to see you back.
mora
14 years ago
Trying to think of something wise to say is just making me procrastinate replying to such a heart wrenching post by a dear friend, I have no wisdom here but am shedding tears with you, Hugs to you both, Martha
thinman
14 years ago
Edna - count me among those who are sad for you and have walked down this road a few times too. Your dear dog is lucky he has a caring owner like you to make sure he will have a gentle ending to his time on earth. I only wish I could have the same end for myself, when my time comes.

ThinMan
armyyife
14 years ago
Oh Edna, how sorry I am for you. I know how hard a decision this is. I too have a black cocker (who looks just like yours) who is going on 13. I am dreading the day I may have to make the same decision. He has growths all over him too. I am wondering if this is what your baby has? My other vet just said it was common in cockers so I have never really thought twice about it. I will have to look up this Chushings thing. I hope he doesn't have it.

Big hugs to you both. I know he was well loved and will be missed terribly.
Meghan
lorna-organic
14 years ago
Vit. C can cause non-malignant tumors (growths) in dogs. Ironically, many vitamin supplments for dogs contain Vit. C. Dogs should not be given supplemental C because dogs produce C in their livers. Years ago, I had a Lab who developed a huge tumor after I began giving her a supplement with C in it. I read up on tumors in dogs, and found out about the C connection. When I discontinued the supplement, the tumor immediately began to decrease.

Cats, however, can be given Ester C powder mixed into canned food. Ester C is a good thing to give to a cat who has Leukemia. It is very helpful in preventing the secondary infections, which Leukemic cats are prone to. I used Ester C for a young Leukemic cat, which kept her in decent health for more than a year after she was diagnosed. The vet was amazed.

Lorna
girlgroupgirl
14 years ago
Edna,
I do believe that God gave you that sweet little dog to care for because he knew you'd care so much. How sweet it is that he went in and said a prayer with you. My pets love to pray, especially Boo Boo and Miss Kitty. I do believe they understand about these things far more than we do.
Bless you for being such a good dog parent to Eirn,

GGG
natvtxn
14 years ago
I am sitting here with tears. As you know cockers are my favorite dogs. It is so hard to let our beloved companions go. Give him an extra hug from me.
fammsimm
14 years ago
((((((((Edna ))))))))))

This is such a painful decision and always difficult to make. We think we care for our pets, but I think it's our pets who care for us by being there and offering their unconditional love & attention every day, and in every way.

We've had to make that decision before, and as a mother to a 15 year old "Kanine Kid", I know that saying goodbye to our devoted and loving friend is not too far off.

I wish you peace when the time comes for Eirn to join all the guardian angels in heaven who masquerade as our pets on earth.

Hugs,
Marilyn
keesha2006
14 years ago
Pet love is a language all of its own..there is nothing like its loyalty...Hugs
Eduarda
14 years ago
Oh Edna, I've just come across this post now! I'm really lost for words here. Nothing I can say will make your decision easier or your heart lighter. So I just send a big virtual hug to you and little Eirn and say how much I'm sorry :-(

Eduarda
DYH
14 years ago
Edna,

I'm so sorry for this difficult time. We take these wonderful creatures to our hearts. Their little world revolves around us. I have nothing to help, only to add that you and your little Eirn are in my prayers.

Cameron
BecR
14 years ago
Dear Edna, so sorry to hear this. I am at a loss for words. Please know that I have both you and sweet Eirn in my prayers. Becky
memo3
14 years ago
Oh, Edna, it's never easy. My heart is aching for you now. Here is a (((hug))) from my animal loving heart to yours.

MeMo
georich5
14 years ago
Air hugs to you and Eirn.

georgeanne
downeastwaves
14 years ago
A big hug for you Edna from Leasa and a wet kiss from Chase.
friend
14 years ago
Oh Edna..

I can feel your pain and everyone else's from here. I'm only now getting past my own pain from my furry "Friend" being put down 2 years ago.

All i can say is that this part, trying to make the decision,knowing that they are going. is probably as bad or worse then when they do go...!

When you still see the spark- it's not time yet :).. when you see they have nothing left.. you'll know in your heart to do the right thing with no question..although it will still be so terrible to decide.You'll not want to keep him here merely for your own comfort when you see he has no comfort left... and you'll know this becasue you love him and care fo rhim so much.

I only wish they could all die peacefully in their sleep!

The folks on this group are so amazing!!such a loving group. It never ceases to amaze me.

Love to all of our pets gone before us...
todancewithwolves
Original Author
14 years ago
I just wanted to update you all on Eirn.

Yesterday I had to let him go. It was so hard but I could see he was so unhappy. I miss him so much. It has left a huge hole in my heart I know will never heal until I see him again someday.

He had 4 weeks of gourmet meals which included the choicest steaks.

Thank you all for your prayers and thoughts. It added 4 precious weeks to his life.
lorna-organic
14 years ago
I'm sorry, Edna. Eirn will always be part of your heart. It was a blessing that you got the chance to pamper Eirn with special treats for a few weeks.

Lorna
thinman
14 years ago
I'm very sorry, Edna. It's so hard to lose them.

ThinMan
aftermidnight Zone7b B.C. Canada
14 years ago
((((HUGS)))

Annette
FlowerLady6
14 years ago
((((Dear Cousin Edna))))

Erin knew he was loved until the very end. What a special pampering time he had and the love that flowed between you was immense. Bless your heart. Let the wonderful memories of him fill the hole that is in your heart by his physical absence. You are right, you will see him again one day.

Love and hugs ~ Cousin Flower
Steveningen
14 years ago
So sad, Edna. I'm truly sorry. There's really nothing I can say that will take the pain away. Just know that there will come a day when you will be able think of him without your heart aching. Instead, you'll find yourself smiling and drifting with a fond memory.

Steven
girlgroupgirl
14 years ago
I'm so sorry Edna, loosing a good and dear friend is always so hard.

GGG
Eduarda
14 years ago
Dear Edna, I don't know what to say besides sending very tight hugs to you. My heart aches for you and little Eirn. May you find comfort in the thought he's no longer suffering and in the belief you will see him again one day.

Eduarda
trailrunner
14 years ago
I am so sorry Edna. I know that you must be so sad. My thoughts are with you. c
DYH
14 years ago
It's always difficult when we lose our precious pups. My thoughts and prayers are with you. I'm very sorry for your loss.

Cameron

P.S. if our pets could have a bucket list, I'm sure it would be simple -- let me be hugged by my owner, bask in the sunshine and receive good treats.
mora
14 years ago
Ohhh my , oh my, I just want to hug you, ((((Edna)))),Love Martha
memo3
14 years ago
Dear Edna, I'm so sorry for your loss. I know that Eirn loved you as much as you loved him. He felt your love each and every day of his life, with every smile you gave him, every kind touch you placed upon his head. No dog could be more proud than to have had you, as his person. Letting him go was just your final act of loving him. May your memories of Eirn bring smiles to your face again, very soon.

((Hugs))
MeMo
BecR
14 years ago
Dear Edna, I'm so sorry to ear this latest about Eirn. May God Bless. Hugs, Becky
todancewithwolves
Original Author
14 years ago
OMgoodness...thank you all so very much.

I miss him so terribly. I went and picked up his ashes on Tuesday and I broke down in the waiting room. The reality hit me hard.

I still think I see glimpses of him and sometimes I think I hear him walking across the wood floor. I miss the smell of his beautiful fur and the funny sounds of him snoring in harmony with DH.

Edna
midnightsmum (Z4, ON)
14 years ago
Oh gosh, Edna - I'm tearing up - I could hear my Bonnie on the hardwoods floors, well after she was gone. such a distinctive sound.

Painful decision

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