Do you mean nectaring plants for the butterflies or hostplants for the caterpillars? Ive never heard of flowers that attract only butterflies. Maybe there is some way to altar genes in a plant so that bees would not like it but thats totally beyond and way out there... something I have no idea why I brought up.
S.B.

If you have caterpillars, you probably will get bees. At least wasps like to take them. But many of the bees that I get on my nectar plants, pay no attention to me. Teach her to look before touching and how to tell the difference between wasps and the bees that are just into nectaring.

Most plants that attract butterflies are going to attract bees too. They both like nectar...

Perhaps having a few bees around can help you teach your grand-daughter that bees are relatively harmless and they mind their own business when left alone?

We have 4 hives of honeybees less than 100 feet from our house. Bees when foraging and collecting water are harmless. I've actually swatted them away with my hand when replenishing the dogs water bowl. I mow around the hives. I've sit just a few feet away from the hives in fascination as they come in go in mass literally inches from my face. I have been stung once by a bee here and it was more my fault than the bees. He got up under the brim of my hat and freaked out.

All that said someone terrified of bees should probably not garden. Irrational behavior around bees (high pitched screaming, wildly swinging arms, etc,etc.) will get you stung every time.

randy

just tell her that the bee's are more afraid of her than she is of them. its very true. i tell talla that the bee's see like 20 of her and she see's only 1 of them so imagine how scared of her they are. so now she isn't scared of them, when she see's them she tells them "its ok i'm not gonna hurt you" and goes on. also i don't know if your grand daughter is into fairy's or not, but this is what i've done with talla so she will chill with all the screaming on june bugs and such, june bugs are grandpa june bugs of the fairys, they are the grandpa over all the fairy's so now she likes to carry them. the huge mosquito's we call mosquito eaters. well they are fairy watchers, they watch the one's who they think will make good fairy's. i tell her she is to stay away from all spiders. they like to be left alone. and dragon flies are angel fairy's. so now she don't freak all the time. she used to when she was younger, so this has just stuck. LOL with wasps i tell her they are doing their job, don't run and don't hit at them and she'll be fine. so she don't, tabor on the other hand does freak out! there's no helping that child!! LOL and he's 12!! LOL :')) ~Medo (who loves to believe in fairy's LOL)

We are working on her bug terror. She is so afraid of anything that flies that she either breaks down in huge sobbing tears or screams bloody murder. We are trying to desensitize her to bugs by getting her a bug box. She will now stand about 3 ft away and look at them in their cage. She doesn't mind slow moving bugs like caterpillars (as long as they don't touch her) and worms (which she thinks are caterpillars).

I guess I was thinking along the lines of host plants for caterpillars because I know the nectar plants will attract more bees than she could handle. This way at least the butterflies will fly into her garden to lay their eggs. So far my research has come up with parsley, dill, fennel, milkweed and plants from the cabbage family. Anyone of any perinneals that host caterpillars? Thanks Kim

I agree, that you should teach her how to coexist with bees and that they will not hurt her unless provoked. I am allergic to bees and realized that I had two choices -- stay out of the garden (never!) or learn how to live with them. Here's a link to other ideas for starting a butterfly garden.

Here is a link that might be useful: butterfly garden