I have been married for 36 years. The first month we were married, MIL drove 500 miles to visit, unannounced. While I was at work on that Friday, she did all my laundry (all my undies too), cooked dinner, and cleaned our apartment. (The message I received, was "you are incapable of taking care of my son.")I fixed supper for her that week-end and her comment was "aren't you going to take that nasty skin off the chicken?". It was downhill from that point on. Ten years ago, she grew very ill and came to live with us, (My husband is her only child, and she divorced many years ago). Has been here ever since and will be, likely, until she dies. And so, here we were with 26 years worth of unresolved issues between us (but "between" felt like a very small space). My advice to you comes from first hand experience. Resolve it NOW. No matter how difficult it may feel, no matter how your imagination warns you of horrible conflict, speak calmly, but honestly, now. Listen to her side. Arrive at a reasonable agreement for you both. These things have a way of growing deep roots, broad canopies, and coming to live with you. Boy do I wish I had followed that advice. I should tell those who are interested that we have found peace over the years, thanks to God and my wonderfuly patient husband, but the first few years were beyond awful. I now know that for the most part, our conflicts were far more misunderstandings than fact. So again, I reiterate, don't wait until MIL is old and senile. Get it right while you are both young and have some space. It will be worth the effort. Sorry if this sounds preachy.

Yes, the banana should come back and will likely throw more than one pup. You can severely damage bananas, even cut them right off and they will grow back. The only time you lose is if you rot the corm . I would get a new yard person too. You might think that's harsh but unless they had free reign to care for the entire yard, they shouldn't be touching what they don't know. That or estimate a value for the plant they cut down and take that out of their fee.

Texas girl: are you gardening in Texas at this point? Your mother's method sounds like she cut down all the old foliage and (I'm guessing) raked it away? That would certainly take care of a lot of potential diseases...One thing that is hard to get around is lifting and dividing every few years. The "old" parts of the iris roots become sort of useless and the blooms are at the "new" end of the roots. Another thing I've noticed: the old varieties of irises, like one sometimes find in cemeteries or growing wild in abandoned lots, are much stronger, fight off disease a lot better than the new very fancy types. It stands to reason: they have had to fight for their life for many years with no help. My hobby is to find old types and take a small piece (not the whole thing) and plant it in my garden. Some people have helped me with the names. "> This is Perfection, created in late 1800s - I found it growing completely wild.

The more I think about this, I'm beginning to think it's the fact that I didn't amend the soil, and the clay is preventing them from getting enough water and they're shriveling up. Does that make sense? When i dug the dead one up, i checked the others and the leaves are literally *crackling* when you touch them, they're so dry. And this is AFTER I left the soaker hose on low, for a full 9-10 hours in this bed overnight on Thursday, coz I forgot to shut it off when i went to work that nite. :( I have a few annuals in the very front of this bed (and the ground slopes slightly downward from the front of the house to the flower bed) that are doing fine...maybe because they have such shallow roots and can utilize the water?? And I *have* noticed when i turn on the soaker, that it doesn't take long at all for the water to start running out the front of the bed.... when it *should* be going down *into* the bed..... another clay issue??