Try posting this on the house plant forum.

There is a book by Barbara Ehrenreich called "Nickel and Dimed". It reminds me of your story. "Determined to find out how anyone could make ends meet on $7 an hour, she left behind her middle class life as a journalist except for $1000 in start-up funds, a car and her laptop computer to try to sustain herself as a low-skilled worker for a month at a time. In 1999 and 2000, Ehrenreich worked as a waitress in Key West, Fla., as a cleaning woman and a nursing home aide in Portland, Maine, and in a Wal-Mart in Minneapolis, Minn."...... If you were making 40k a year, you undoubtedly have some skills you could probably use in other areas. What sort of work would you LIKE to be doing? What State are you in? Mentioning where you live might help readers come up with suggestions for alternatives to wal-mart. Jobs are scare, but they are out there. Are there any temp agencies in your area? I always found them good for getting your foot in the door, getting some training and seeing if you'd a workplace and/or the people. At one time I worked part time at two different places so I could use my spare time to find something that paid more. Plus, if I were laid off at one place, I still had some income coming in from the other. Do you have a family to support or just yourself? Do you prefer to work with people or things? If you like working with people then there is always a need for services for the growing boomer population. Many of these people are going to want care in their own homes as well as transportation to the grocery store, doctors appts, etc. If not, there are always admin jobs that don't require you to have to deal with the public so much. Have you ever wanted to travel? There are folks who like to hire companions to keep them company so they don't have to travel alone. How about care-taking? Some people have more than one home. They need a warm body on the premises for maintenance, security, and pet care when the owners are away. I guess what I'm getting at is that there ARE alternatives to wal-mart if you look hard enough. Its good that they hired you. Showing that you are willing to work no matter what the position means you are motivated. I know I'd be more inclined to hire someone who isn't ashamed to do what it takes to pay the bills. Links that might be useful: Nickel and Dimed www.amazon.com/Nickel-Dimed-Not-Getting-America/dp/0805063897 The Caretaker Gazette www.caretaker.org/main.php?smPID=DBS::SAMPLES

Lisa, I am sorry to read about the loss of your dog. I just wanted to share my own experience with a similar situation...maybe it will help you feel better about your choice. I took my 13-year old cat to the vet because of sudden weight loss and markedly poor coat. X-rays revealed an intestinal mass and I was given three options. I could put him down right away, put him through more testing that would stress him physically and emotionally, or send him for exploratory surgery. In the end, I chose the surgery. I thought "I know cats that have lived to 18 or 20" and to be honest, I was young, he was my first pet, and I was not ready to let go and have him euthanized. The vet did warn me that it could be difficult for him to recover, but she said she would make the smallest incision possible. I was at work on his surgery day when she called to tell me it was a huge mass involving his stomach and intestine and that due just to the size of the tumor, he would never have good quality of life again. She recommended euthanasia, which I of course realized was the best thing for him. I was unable to leave work so she euthanized him while he was still under for surgery. To this day I am devastated when I think I could have let him go without the trauma of that last overnight at the vet, the surgery, and especially not being able to say goodbye. As others have said, it is so very difficult when we have to make these kinds of decisions, and it's worse when you feel like you don't have time to think and weigh your options. But I believe that you chose well and did the most loving and caring thing left to do for your dear dog. I hope that time brings you peace with your decision.

I would love to have the opportunity to take pictures of Aphrodite again. I love that sparkle in the closeup. Glad you liked the photos too. The leaves are long and green, but are bent down right at the top of the bulb. There are about six leaves. I suppose the rotting began in the spring (it was fine up until I took it outdoors), and it just didn't have the strength to produce more leaves. I am wondering whether I should just let the leaves yellow, cut them and allow it to rest. I am hoping to get another amaryllis from a nearby garden center when they get them in. They are more expensive but the bulb is a good size and they had had some nice ones I thought. I was thinking of purchasing Charisma last year, but couldn't decide. Then it was gone.