So sorry for your situation. I am sure I'd be sad too. :0( I hope you can start over in your new home, with some new garden inspiration there. I know whatever you do there will look just beautiful. I'm sure your old neighbors miss your gorgeous gardens though.

I have often wondered if we ever tried to sell our house, how hard it would be to sell, because the people would either have to love gardening, or they might try to re-do everything we've spent the last 10 years doing!
:0) Phyl

That's good advice, Catsrose. Only one of our old houses have I gone back to see - but only after many years put the whole thing in perspective for me. I saw changes, but found them merely interesting, not hurtful. I'm sure if I had gone in the first few years after we sold I would have been sick, so much was my heart invested in that garden. I am now at a point in my life where I can acknowlege that my garden is just for my own pleasure and it won't live on after I leave and that's OK. It's mine to create and enjoy in the present.

Bloom where you are planted. :-)

Anne

Why didn't she just move into a condo? I had to laugh about the delph story. Advice I have: Try not to go back. I still regret leaving my mini japanese maple for the dummy that bought our last house.

Carla

I bought my house a few years ago. The seller moved into the house on the corner within sight of my house. She loved her lilac bush here. I hated it. It ws too big, bloom period was too brief, the leaves were ugly, and it was in a prime spot for a rose garden. I had it removed one day as she sat out on her porch and watched. I'm sure it broke her heart. I even felt bad doing it. My bed of roses that took it's place is glorious! To each it's own I guess. In a few years I plan to sell my house too. And watching what happens to my roses could possibly be painful. I think I'll try not to watch.

I was just saying to my husband the other day, "if we move, I'm taking all my roses with me". How feasible this would be is debatable but it would break my heart to leave some of them behind. DH, of course, just rolled his eyes!! LOL.

No, I think the best way is to not go back and look. Nothing ever stays the same and its much better just to not know.

Gilli

It will be hard to resist driving by again... my brother lives three blocks west of my old house. If I never had to be in that neighborhood, I could totally resist!

I told my husband half the fun here is making a new garden, but it's also hard to wait for it to mature. Today I am about to rip out two burning bushes and I just know those spots are going to look totally bare and weird until next year when new plants mature. I was only going to take one of them out, but then I thought, "That other one is placed in the perfect spot for a climbing rose."

So... what do you think? See the color scheme of my house and tell my which color you think I should grow along the front porch! I want to put a climber to the far left of the old flower bed to train up that pillar. (This pic was taken while I was digging a new bed last month--I told DH not to be surprised if I dig ALL the grass out as small as the yard is!)

{{gwi:300876}}

Build a new garden where you now live and forget the ignorant and insensitive who bought your house. How do I know they are insensitive? Simple, they ruined the charm by applying vinyl. This is not just ignorance, this is stupidity. Ignorance can be cured but tasteless stupidity is forever, and there is nothing you or any of the rest of us can do about it. We can't reverse climate change either, so get over it and move on.

Some years ago, the former owner dropped by to visit my home [the husband]. As luck would have it, the house and yard were spotless - I had just finished mowing and weedeating. I had made quite a few changes to the inside of the house. Their decor was very clean but [to my taste] tacky. I had changed the wall color, put up large mirrors, taken down the awful ruffly curtains, planted flowers, roses. When they had only had 2 chairs on the lovely deck, I had furniture, potted plants - ambiance. He looked around, never said a word. Was nice but didnt stay long. They have never returned or contacted me. I think he was miffed that I changed things. Even though things were tidy, loved and cared for - I think it just rubbed him the wrong way. I was sorry because I am proud of the home I have made, I adore it, its my sanctury and I never want to move. So go figure! But my family home in town, and farm that were sold - they are not terrible but sure not the way we kept them up. Probably best not to return.
Judith

I should have never returned to my old house. The front yard was gravel with many shrubs and some trees. It looked very inviting, was low-care and low maintenance. When I came back everything was gone. EVERYTHING. There was nothing but gravel with weeds growing through it. My husband had to quickly swing by the store and buy me a lemon meringue pie, of which I ate almost half in one sitting. (I tend to drown my sorrows in sugar.) Never in my wildest dreams had I thought anyone could or would do this. They had even ripped out all the trees on the side that gave privacy from the neighbor's driveway. I feel terrible about my former neighbors on either side who keep up their properties, but this was the only offer I had on my house.

Ingrid

Ingrid--
That is not only very sad, but very baffling.... Trees and shrubs are things you might have to, what, prune once a year, if at all? Why anyone would rip all that out just makes no sense at all. Some people are just idiots.

I understand having to take the offer you get. The day after we signed our closing papers, cnn.com commented that it was the worst housing market ever recorded in U.S. history. We managed to sell in 3 months, but at the time it felt like an eternity. We closed 2 days before the first mortgage payment was due on our new house. And we not taken what we could get--which was very low, really--we'd have gone bankrupt. So sometimes you gotta do what you gotta do!

Funny thing even--the guy who bought our house, his MOTHER was the one who did the shopping. We were shocked to sign papers with a 26-year-old male when a middle aged female was the one who kept coming to look at it. Our realtor tells us this happens a lot these days. I guess "kids" can't do anything without their mommies anymore... maybe he should call her over to come and weed the flowerbeds!! God knows his wife doesn't do it. *evil grins*

Roseman--
You made me laugh. Thank you--someone who recognizes the sacntitiy of architectural period and taste. We purposely bought a new home that was kept as close to its original condition as possible. We looked at about 50 homes to find it. I didn't care what the yard looked like--that is more easily rectified than woodwork with 13 coats of paint on it, or worse, ripped out and replaced with cheap pine.

God grant me the serenity to accept the things I cannot change,
The courage to change the things I can,
And the wisdom to know the difference. Amen

How heartbreaking. Vinyl would ruin my house, too, the cedar shake shingles I fought for years now to preserve, I can't tell you how many siding companies have approached me over the years, but the garden!

One of the things I don't like to think about are some old roses I've saved. Most of the ones I've bought can be replaced.

I'm sorry you had to experience that, it could happen to me one way or another. Some things can be replaced, but not my found roses, and I fear they would be the first to go for something trendier like most people are putting in new places now, low-maintenance stuff from big box stores. I can see it, too, for a busy young family. Yes, I do the big box stores, too, but very selectively.

Too bad you didn't just mail the opener, but I fear I couldn't resist having a look. The grandson of the people next door came by to have a look, saw me in the yard, was sick about what they had done to the property, all fixed up :-). Memories are memories and nothing like the way grandma had it. If I had bought it, he'd be unhappier as I'd have torn it down so I could have a double lot and more yard space.

I can feel your pain. In 1965 when I was a young wife and mother, we sold the first house we had ever owned. It was so cute. We had planted 20 floribundas, Eutin, I believe. I told the new owner I hoped he would enjoy the roses as they were so carefree and had been a joy to us. He said that roses were too much trouble and he may just get rid of them. I decided then that I could not afford to look back. Since we had sold the house it was no longer mine. I decided to always try and make the world a more beautiful place. We have moved many times since then and I believe we left each garden a little lovelier for our having gardened there.

Lynn

Jennifer, you could do just about any color of climber there if the flower colors are the only thing there, as I see it, yellow.
Plant one that is fragrant.
What colors do you like?

Carla

Carla,

I have planted a lot more since, yanked out a burning bush (the other os going too), and I have planted a color scheme of pinks, blues, white, and I stuck with the yellow since every stinking flower that was already established was yellow. I also planted a sand cherry tree in the new bed as an anchor, plus a sand cherry shrub near the porch where the burning bush was (I just dug it up, asked the neighbor if she wanted it, she said "no," I said "me neither," stuck it on the curb and I think I'll craigslist the message to "come and get it--those aren't cheap, but if it isn't everygreen and it doesn't impress me with flowers at least once a year, it goes!!). The house, as you can see, is sage with brown and white trim.

I used to grow "Fourth of July" and it was one of my favorites, but I am afraid it might be too red?? I stuck a double knock-out in the front because it was $6.50 at Lowe's and I couldn't resist a healthy $6.50 rose that was only on clearance because it was past its "30 days" (the mgr told me they clear out anything over 30 days old). I guess the Knock Out has a lot of red, about as much as FOJ. But I don't know if the FOJ color would clash with the paint on the house.

My neighbor offered me her roses before she sold. I planted her favorite "pink rosette" right in front and it's one of my best repeat bloomers. Plus, it has few thorns. The ones I didn't keep, I potted up and found homes for them with people who wanted them. The people who bought the house tore out everything, repainted and then quickly resold it. Now all that is left is bermuda grass and a tree that was padly pruned and has never fully recovered. If I ever had to sell my place, I would give everything away and concentrate on a green lawn for the next buyers. Better to see the plants go to a good home than die of neglect or go under the tires of the cement contractor's equipment.

Scorpiohorizon, that sign in the front yard had to be the salt in the wound! Plant some new delphinium asap!

Five years ago we moved from Arkansas to Florida leaving 125 roses in four beds three of which were fifty feet long. I completely understand the feeling voiced. After a couple of years we visited the old home town and had to drive by the house. BAD MOVE!!! Only five roses left and grass now covered the rose beds. Our lawn was beautiful with no weeds as we worked very hard on it. We returned to "weed yard" and very little good grass.

Last September we returned again and now there is only one rose and still a horrendous lawn.

We just had to remind ourselves that we no longer owned the property and remember when it was well-kept with a beautiful rose garden of over 150 roses.

Whoever said "you can never go home again" hit the nail on the head.

"I tried, but it died"??? How idiotic.

Your sad story (and I sympathize!) reminds me of the tofu manufacturing business my husband sold years ago. He had started it from scratch, making a wonderful product that was in demand. He sold the business to five guys who had recently become friends. That fact alone set off warning bells, but it was a good deal for my DH and the sale went through. We didn't realize how bad we'd feel when the five "friends" found they didn't get along very well after all, and the business went down the tubes.

When we sold our first house in the country I was worried about what would become of the asparagus bed. I was so happy when the buyer said, "I could eat asparagus for breakfast!" I hope she did.

After my wife and I split up, she sold the house. The new owners naturally redid the whole thing, and asked if I would like to come see what they had done. Instead of politely refusing, I went. I was never more disappointed by anything in my life then what I saw. There was just one thing lacking as I recall, and that was the washing machine on the front porch, and some old tires painted white outlining the driveway. The huge rose garden I had put so much time into was totally ruined. When asked what I thought, I just said, "Lovely" and left. I have not been back. They have moved to Savannah now and the house is for sale once more. No longer any interest on this end, because it could never be returned to what it was. That chapter of my life is over.

We just had to remind ourselves that we no longer owned the property and remember when it was well-kept with a beautiful rose garden of over 150 roses.

All of you with "lost" gardens, I bet your old neighbors miss you!

The garden really is the gardener. Even if new owners leave everything, it would never be the same, because the original gardener has their own "touch". My own garden is different than it was when we started it 9 years ago. Gardens are dynamic, not static. Even many, if not most of the great gardens of the world, designed by world class designers, are not the same or are completely lost once the designer is gone.

If a person must create something beautiful that never changes, they would be happier if they learned to paint pictures. Those will stay the same. Gardens will not.

It's not that the new owner wanted to make changes that bothers me as much as that she doesn't do anything at all. I can respect changes, but not neglect, you know?

If it makes anyone feel better we lived at a little house in Eastern WA until I was five. My Mom was not a gardening freak but she did take good care of the yard. After we moved she went back about a year later and the new owners had fenced in the back yard and yes, they had a cow grazing back there.

I don't think Mom went back for several years. Of course we kids thought it was funny but we were in the minority.

Kate

Oh lord! LOL! Kate, that, admittedly, is hilarious.... Then again, it wasn't my yard. :)

Yes I think my Mom wanted to go to the house and have a serious conversation with those people:) However we had just moved into a brand new house with all new grass and a huge back yard just waiting for her to run wild so really she got the good part of that deal. Still even after all these years its not her favorite topic.

Kate

I was so happy to get out of our old house, even though it was on five acres on a beautiful road, that I didn't give a flying flip what the new folks did or didn't do to the property. Except for the fruits, of which there were many new plantings and grapes that were just finally starting to produce when we moved. We were going to have our very own 'fruit salad orchard,' man! Can't do that on a quarter-acre and still have space for the kids to knock around. I don't look too closely when I have to drive by our old place.

FWIW, anybody who is thinking about selling a house and taking their roses with them needs to speak to their realtor about putting that in the listing contract. I believe in most cases anything permanently attached to the walls of the house or planted in the yard must stay unless specifically stated. Could make problems if the buyers don't know you are planning to take the landscaping!

I think about this very thing while I am planting and redoing the landscape here. I know the previous owners don't have anything to disapprove of since it was very neglected and the place sat empty for three years.

But I know that hubby and I do not intend to spend the rest of our lives in this house, so I try not to invest myself in anything that I wouldn't be okay with getting ruined by any future owners of this place.

And they would be idiots to side over the gorgeous brick and stone on this house.

"FWIW, anybody who is thinking about selling a house and taking their roses with them needs to speak to their realtor about putting that in the listing contract. I believe in most cases anything permanently attached to the walls of the house or planted in the yard must stay unless specifically stated."

This is so. If you want to take anything like that with you, get it out before you list the house or put a clause in the listing contract. My realtor was a bit upset that the previous owners of our home had taken a large shelf off the wall. I told him that was okay with me; if it was like the rest of that gaudy Pottery Barn stuff the woman had all over this house she was welcome to it. ;)

(Sorry, I just am not a PB fan.)

I feel so sorry for you. However, there is always the other side of the story. After we bought this house. We had great plan to improve the backyard, like installing new grass. Within half year, my children dxed with autism, we never saw that coming. They were normal. So, we put all our energy as well as resources to our children. The lawn was one feet tall, the whole backyard grew weeds up to 4 feet tall. My hubby only abled to cut the lawn and backyard twice within one and half year. Lucky, no body bothered us for that. Down the road there is another house like us, growing 4 foot tall weeds. I think she has a special need kid and a baby, the hubby is not around often, soldier? Now, as my children are doing better and able to go to school, I can replant the lawn, set up nice flower beds while they are in school. The house down the road is still full of weeds. I feel bad for her, I think she is still struggling. Sometimes, new owners are not try to ruin the gradens. They just don't have time to take care of them.

scorpiohorizon, I did forget to say "I'm sorry." I truly am, because I know, indeed we all know, that we invest so much of ourselves in our gardens.

Maybe you can stop and ask them if the roses are too much trouble, and if so offer to take them home with you? Just a thought! ;o)

Thanks to everyone that shared their stories, which are very insightful. I, too, would be very sad if we sold our house and the roses got removed. I guess beauty is in the eye of the beholder.

I sort of feel sorry for the people who buy my house someday
I was thinking that recently as I ordered 12 1/2 ton of rocks and put around my 200 roses. (still have several tons left). I figured if they let the roses die or take them out that they are going to have a lot of rock to pick up!LOL!
I want to leave behind a legacy and set it in stone.

I'm so sorry for all who have lost gardens; it's something I think about from time to time as I consider maybe moving ... and yet keep on gardening!

Here's another "flip side" story. When we purchased this home 31 years ago in August, there wasn't much growing except a few clumps of "ditch lilies", a pair of poosly azaleas, one sorry boxwood, some leggy mountain laurel, and enormous plain green hostas ringing everything including the many tall old oak trees. No grass to speak of in this sandy soil, not even weeds! As eager as I was to start planting, I insisted to my dear young husband that we wait at least until spring, preferably a full year, so as not to disturb anything dormant that the previous owner might have planted. Well, we waited and were rewarded with ... nothing ... except the aforementioned undernourished specimens. Not even one daffodil.

So ... I set about enriching the soil (I'd had a year to get some compost started, after all, and lots of oak leaves to shred), much to the amusement of one of my neighbors who insisted nothing would grow here. Have been amending and planting, failing and succeeding ever since, and the recent front yard re-do is finally the garden I'd always dreamed of, with roses and perennials shoulder-to-shoulder, jostling, embracing and supporting each other and peeking over-under-through the white picket fence. Today, for the first time in my life, I walked under - UNDER! - roses blooming on my own arbor (ok, there were only three up there, but there are more where those came from). That neighbor would never recognize the ol' place [big smile].

Did I say something about moving?

There are some beautiful thoughts expressed in this thread to help any of us cope with that eventuality, particularly catsrose comment, "Put your love into your new garden and let it grow" and hoovb's paragraph that begins "The garden really is the gardener." Thank you all.

Diane

When I get to it--tomorrow?--I'll post a pic of my new bed in front of my house because I am very proud! Even some teenaged neighbor boy stopped on his bike to tell me how good it looked. The backyard still looks too yucky to photograph. The other night I had insomnia over the fact that the Black-Eyed Susans that I inherited were clashing with my new color scheme. So today I tore them all out. So I suppose it goes both ways, right? :) The previous owner probably loved those BES. (Actually, I transplanted some of them to a different part of the yard where they are all by themselves to reseed only among themselves, yes, in July, so all were not lost...yet.)

Ya can't go back.....would love to see pictures of your "new" garden! :0)

I also have a sold house story. I moved my austrian copper rose bush to my new house, then placed it on the market. It died! Then...while I was living at the new house with the old one up for sale. My old neighbor called me and said she was going over to dig up my garden, moving it to her house......yikes! I warned her that was stealing and illegal for me to change the house once it was under contract, I could be liable. She backed off. The house sold in 3 weeks. I'd like to think it was because of the pretty gardens! It became a rental, the gardens are gone.