I Googled "flat stemmed lily", and I found this thread. I'm glad I did because I have one of my own. I KNEW I didn't plant this last year! Looks like it will bloom!

Adrienne, here's a little trick I like to do with my prolifs, and there are others who do this also. I cut the bloom scape a few inches below the prolif and also an inch of two above it. Then I place the scape into a container of water just so the tiny rootlets are touching the water. This allows the roots to really get growing before planting and the longer scape will also help the prolif to stay anchored once you plant it in soil. Hope this helps you a bit. :) BTW, welcome to the forum. Jan

Thanks Tammy. We're just so used to seeing the pair together that it's worrying when one of them is awol.... which you know from experience! ANYWAY - just as I got off the computer after posting last night, Papa appeared with what we thought was Mama. They were here again first thing this morning. Papa is really trying hard to get something going with the second nest, but we think this is a new female. She looks different and is quite skittish, i.e flys away when we go out with the meal worm bowl... not like "Mama" who would barely wait til it was put on the ground before coming in! Papa has been in the box a lot, she sits at the entrance hole while he's in there or close by. (He even seemed to move one pine-needle from the box to another empty box but after checking that out there was nothing inside.) He's been here a lot today just hanging out on, in or by the nest. Feel so bad for him.... At one point both Papa and this female were 'fighting' with the baby that has been hanging around them... the other 3 fledged and haven't been seen in a while, but this one keeps hanging on. Guess they were trying to give it a hint. Just wish we knew what was really going on. He seems to still want to use the nest but I don't know if the female will go for it... Guess we'll have to wait and see.

For some reason, I just can't shake this post. I've just seen so many bright, capable young women sign up for lives of drama and misery with only *miniscule* chances for happiness. There just seems to be something about the *hopeless cause* that brings out the *hopeless romantic* in even the most sensible young women. Sadly, I wasn't immune to this, and married a 'fixer-upper' myself the first time around. Sadly, I couldn't fix him up and he stayed broken and dysfunctional. And of course, my older son has a broken and dysfunctional father and I have a broken and dysfunctional Ex. But you haven't done that yet. And just because you said you would, doesn't mean you have to actually go through with it. Slow things down! Think about this: Mr. Wonderful, when faced with a choice between a raving lunatic who is dead-wrong and a reasonable an understanding mate who has vowed to support him -- this Mr. Wonderful chooses to placate the lunatic and disappoint the mate. Under what circumstances would this pattern change? Lunatic BioMom certainly won't change it -- SHE'S winning! Her craziness works very well for her. Maybe YOU could change it by turning into an even raving'er lunatic -- but do you want to do that? Because being reasonable sure isn't working for you... Mr. Wonderful may or may not be able to change it, but finding out will be painful, very painful, and require a lot of courage -- maybe more than he has. It is *possible* that by steadfastly NOT giving in to crazy tactics that eventually Dad can somehow teach BioMom that drama and craziness are not a good strategy for dealing with him. This is likely to take years, of course, and lots of courage. Find out if he has that kind of courage before you marry him. There's one other really important thing I've learned about marriage over the years. It's that choosing a spouse is a lot like picking teams in sports. You want to pick someone who will be a good teammate. Someone who plays well, and who has a well-developed sense of fairness and a similar degree of competitive spirit you have, whether that's a lot or a little. Someone who will respect your efforts and contributions, someone who will encourage and never belittle you. Someone who brings good things to the playing field -- a positive attitude, sense of humor, the right tools. Think back to grade school. Would you choose your hopelessly-uncoordinated best friend to be your main team mate for the rest of your entire life? Or would you tell her that you value your friendship too much to put it under this particular kind of strain? You can love this man and help him with his daughter without making him (and his Ex and her drama) your partners-for-life.