Boyfriend vetoes compost...HELP!
annikasmommykate
11 years ago
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LesIsMore1
11 years agofortyonenorth
11 years agoRelated Discussions
Suggestions for front??? I'm stuck.... :(
Comments (7)You've done a lot and are to be commended! I'm glad you got rid of the huge shrubs, and I agree that you should also cut down the one that remains. karinl's correct in pointing out that your foundation is nothing to be ashamed of. BUT let me argue for some evergreens somewhere. Going by your zip code, you're in Tennessee just south of the Kentucky border. Your zone is 6B, so you have a definite winter -- one zone colder than mine. I did see your photos earlier, but for some reason Firefox won't let me access them again at the moment. From what I remember, there wasn't anything that would have any winter interest. I remember a low rose bush -- empty twigs in the winter -- but the rest may all be annuals and perennials which die back to the ground at the end of the growing season. So for four months, there's nothing around the house except empty dirt and a dormant rose. (Apologies if I'm not remembering correctly, or if there was something I'm not familiar with; I'm not a plant expert.) Even if the stone foundation is interesting, it wouldn't hurt to hide some of the utility boxes, not to mention the phone (?) wire that snakes along quite a bit of the siding. Not all shrubs are five feet high, as were the old ones. How about a few low evergreen shrubs and groundcovers? I understand that it's not your own house, and that evergreens may be more than you wish to invest in landscaping at the moment. But think about adding something evergreen this fall or next spring -- or several somethings. Here's the Missouri Botanical Garden's PlantSearch. It can give you some idea of plants in a particular category. http://www.mobot.org/gardeninghelp/plantfinder/Search.asp You might, for example, use these settings: Sun = whatever's appropriate for each bed Height = 1-3 ft. Maintenance = you'll probably want "Low" or "Medium" Zone = 6 And on the far right, under "Leaves," click "Evergreen" Depending on what you checked, you'll get somewhere between several and several dozen evergreen cultivars. Clicking on the links will give you more info and generally a photo. Then try slightly different settings: maybe two different sun settings, and both "Low" and "Medium" for Maintenance. Or go for shorter plants and/or click "Groundcover" under "Uses" on the right. To avoid future worries about roots and the foundation, plant far enough from the house so that you always have 1-2' clear for house (and plant) maintenance. (Take the mature width of the shrub/annual/perennial, divide it in half, then add at least a foot: the figure you get is the distance from the house that the center of the plant should be located.)...See Moreoyster shells
Comments (16)i buy crushed oyster shells (for my chickens) at southern states. i have no idea how much a bag costs, it all goes on the feed tab. anyway, i can definitely see these crushed shells being used for paths - they "stay put" extremely well. i can see every place i've put a scoop of shells on the ground in the chicken area for the last year ... what hasn't been consumed, is still in the same spot. they'd make a fantastic base layer for john's broken terra cotta idea, or under a seashell path like claire's. i am so glad shari steamed oysters - i've some important paths to "pave" and shari's shells have gotten my creative juices flowing :)...See MoreBasketball dilema
Comments (2)It sounds like a difficult situation to get involved in. On the one hand, you say the kids are having a hard time with the divorce. You've been dating a year and a half but only started interacting with the kids recently. It's not a surprise that they are not ready to include you in some activities & given they are in therapy, having such a hard time adjusting... it would be sensitive for you to bow out & let him take just his kids to the game. You weren't going to go to begin with. If they were free tickets, why make an issue of it. Is if "fair"? Not really but it kinda comes with the territory of getting involved with someone that has kids. On the other hand, I would agree that the dad needs to maintain control as the adult to keep kids from manipulating... and I might even go as far as admitting it's possible that the anxiety attacks and crying or clingy behavior could be manipulation. BUT, this guy has been dating you for quite a while before including his kids and he may not have prepared them for this new situation, he may feel guilty & they may have been getting away with manipulating him for a long time. They are not going to welcome someone that might change things. I get it if you're feelings were hurt. A few years ago, I thought it would be nice to take SD and buy tickets for a fair on Father's day. It was to be a surprise for DH and I bought all the tickets (SD was with me). We got to the fair, rode rides together & played games but halfway through the day, she took her dad aside and started crying. He was astounded and asked what's wrong. She tells him (loud enough for me to hear) "I didn't know Ima was going to be here, I wanted it to be just you and me!". Of course I was hurt & angry. She was with me when I bought the tickets & when we made the plans to go & when we got in the car & when we spent the first half of the day there together, having fun or so I thought. Thinking back on it now... maybe I should have gone home & let them have the rest of the day. I don't think it would have made much difference in the way things have ultimately turned out, which is now having an almost 13 year old that ignores me like I don't exist. She never wanted her dad to be with anyone, she will probably never accept that he's with me & it's uncomfortable (at best) to live on a day to day basis with her. If you are already feeling it has disaster written all over it AND he has a crazy ex.... well, that's more insight than I had before I said "I do"....See MoreNeed opinion on situation
Comments (1)"I have seen quite a few instances where my BF will say to stop a behavior in excess of 5-6 times, kids ignore him, and he does nothing OR worse if the cry or pout he will placate them with a reward (candy, toy, etc). I think he is setting up for failure and worse behavior in the future. " I think you're quite right. IMO the kids have meltdowns because they have learned that that is what works for them, perhaps not consciously but it is what they have been conditioned to do. Already your boyfriend is reaping the whirlwind he has sown. If my DD had tried to set the rules I would have reminded her that the family is not a democracy and parental veto overrides all. Some latitude in decision making is a good learning experience for kids but in that particular situation it wasn't appropriate IMO, except for the son to decline to attend. So, since the girl declined, is Dad going to take her on a special treat too? That would be the fair thing to do since he has set it up for the son. I dunno. If you've been dating for 18 months (and presumably the divorce happened before that) and the kids still have meltdowns, perhaps it's time to reassess where this relationship is going....See Morenovascapes
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