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janis_g

Warning! Stay away from my kitchen, i'm cooking again!

Janis_G
17 years ago

As usual I screwed up the Pecan Pie.

Sometimes I think I must be a Southern Imposter.

How in the world can you screw up a Pecan Pie?

I gave up on the pie and moved on to the Pumpkin Cake.

I always make the Pumpkin Roll, this time I decided to make

a Pumpkin Cake. I was clipping along, feeling pretty good

about it, smoothing out my bruised ego over the Pie fiasco.

I popped that cake in the oven, turned around and what did

I see but a cup of flour that was supposed to be in the cake

I had just put in the oven. I grabbed that sucker out of

there so fast it was only a blur. I dumped the cake in a

mixing bowl, added the second cup of flour, beat it in,

greased another pan and back in the oven it went.

This comes on the heels of the burned to a crisp Pork Roast

yesterday. Neil and I had just run out to do a few errands.

Well, yes I left the roast in the oven, I turned the temp

down some. We were either gone too long or I didn't lower

the temp low enough.

Neil went in the house first. "Something's on fire in

there" he said as he hurried past me through the garage and

to the outside. I had my arms full of stuff. I practically threw

it down and made a dash to the kitchen. Something burning

indeed, I thought as a made my way, choking on burnt pork

fumes. I turned off the oven, took out the pan, raised the

lid and saw a little piece of what looked to me charcoal

stuck to the bottom. I threw the pan in the sink, and

started digging out scented candles. Folks, if you ever

want to coven up an odor, burn candles. I had all kinds of

candles going in this house.

Neil came back in, wrinkled up his nose, started opening up

windows and doors. "CLOSE the doors and windows "I yelled as

I lit yet another candle. Why, he yelled back. "Do you

think for one minute I want the whole neighborhood knowing

I burned your dinner?" "What do you care what the neighbors

think?' " Because, that's why," I said.

Neil rolled his eyes and shook his head as he turned on the

monster attic fan that no doubt if you put it on high speed,

it could suck the furniture out of the house.

I have to admit, he was right, the smell is finally

beginning to go away.

I'm a little scattered and smothered when I get under

pressure, don't you know.

Just be glad you aren't a member of my poor family, lord

only knows what will happen in that kitchen today.

How many ways can you screw up Beef Wellington?

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