To summarize, the "basics" are selecting the right rose for the right climate. Climatic suitability. Learn from the rose, know what the thing will tolerate. NO book can teach you that. No person can, either. Observation. Look at the danged things. Learn to read them. Learn their language. They'll tell you if they're not happy and often, just what the dickens is going on with them. Yes, reading (IF you are one of the intelligent ones who WILL read, unfortunately as uncommon as "common sense") will direct you toward what is suitable for where you are and what type of gardener you are or will become, as will simply walking around where you are and talking to people who seem successful at doing what you hope to do. If you read a book or someone's post, find out where they are. British rose books are glorious to read, but they have NO relevance in Southern California...PERIOD. Peter Beales and Graham Thomas proclaiming New Dawn and Ballerina to be perfect roses, the most successful and wonderful plants of their types are pure misinformation in warm, long season climates. Austin's original writings about his Graham Thomas being a "mannerly, five foot shrub" makes sense in a British season, but NOT in California where it can easily be a twelve to fifteen foot climber. Unless you take the initiative to find out where the information is relevant, it is worthless. For me to tell Elmire that tender Tea roses are the best roses around is cruel and ignorant at best because they are very likely not to be where she is. For her to tell ME to grow Rugosas is the worst advice anyone could provide as they are not happy here, period. There is tremendous information on line and, if taken with the knowledge of where it originated, can be invaluable. Pruning advice, particularly. In my climate, most roses do best with little pruning other than to remove what is no longer healthy or needed. Lyn must snow prune her roses or the weight of the snow will do it for her. Others must whack them to fit the winter protection they require. I know I irritate those who write me for advice about how to winter protect as the only response I can give based upon my experience is to continue dead heading and make sure they remain watered sufficiently if it doesn't rain! The right rose for the climate, positioned in the right spot for the conditions, planted acceptably and permitted to do as it needs to with suitably benign neglect will often become a weed. "Weed" is the highest praise I can think of for any plant as they succeed in spite of us. What could be better?

kalypsogirl wrote: "You think the weeping cherry? should grow?" It's all personnal taste. I like the long flowing look of the tree. Trimming them would be like painting the leaves of a red maple, green. ;) For another place to shop, Cahoons is on the west side of Cleveland. They have an amazing varity in the spring. Take a truck and your checkbook. You'll be glad you did!

When my DS and his then-wife bought a very large house in CT, they bought (separate contract from the house) a great deal of the furniture, both indoor and outdoor. When they sold it 5 years later when they divorced, the new buyers wanted a few things. Unfortunately, they were things my DS was to get in the divorce and his wife agreed to this. Since the house had been on the market for 16 months and was selling for nearly $900,000 less than they paid for it, my DS did not make a stink. Wish he had gotten those club chairs, though! My parents bought several rugs in a house they purchased 47 years ago, and had previously bought a few things from a house they had bought in 1962. It's really quite common, and if the sale of the house is due to downsizing, it's an excellent way to sell furniture that is not needed or won't fit in a new residence.

Of course I don't want to hurt her, I love her. She has told me that her mom does not like it that she calls me mom (her mom also sent me an e-mail explaining to me that she is SDs' mom, NOT me) I feel like SD is torn between being loyal to her mom and not hurting me. Because of the loyalty to her mom (and I understand and accept that)I end up getting hurt and she ends ups feeling "bad". She doesn't need that kind of pressure, she goes through enough with the guilt trips her mom puts on her. I need to find a way to be a good role model for her and show her I love her without getting so involved. I don't think her mom is a good role model for her. SD (who is only 14) has told me about her mother discussing the importance of penis size with her (SHOCKING!)she has also told me that her mom acts inappropriate around men and just "wants to go to bed with them" Oh there's more, I just don't want to get into it. But now you can see that she needs someone to talk to. It's very difficult because I just want to tell her that her mom is a horrible person and she should not model herself after her in any way, but of course I can't say that. It would make SD feel awful. Anyway, I think I'm getting off the subject here. I take the brunt and get the disrespect because I am the stepmom. When I think of the word mom, respect, love and kindness come to mind, guilt and disrespect do not. It may sound like I'm being selfish, or making a mountain out of a molehill, but it just bothers me. Thank you all again for your advise.